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lkg72
Devoted July 2018

Drunk Aunt

lkg72, on August 19, 2017 at 11:22 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 49

My aunt is a raging alcoholic. She is rarely invited to family functions but even those she attends she is highly inappropriate. (People remember he as the drunk lady from funerals who tries to get dates...) Aside from being inappropriate and embarrassing, she was arrested for assaulting another family member while intoxicated and now half of our family will not speak to her. She lives with my grandmother which further complicates the dynamics.

I do not want to be embarrassed or have to worry about what kind of antics she is going to pull . Also, I don't think it's fair to submit my other family members to her verbal abuse.

I don't want to invite her. When I bring it up to my parents they say "well it's your decision but I feel bad". I don't feel like they have my back. My grandma is going to get an invitation at the same address so she will have access to the details. My sister/MOH said she will lay it out that she's not invited if need be. Help!

49 Comments

Latest activity by Jay Farrell, on August 21, 2017 at 6:39 PM
  • The Trap Selena
    Master March 2016
    The Trap Selena ·
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    Tell the bartender not to serve her if your parents insist on inviting her (assuming they're paying).

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  • MMB
    Master January 2017
    MMB ·
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    Someone who assaulted another member of my family would not be on my guest list. But if you do decide to invite her, take LG's advice.

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  • Katy
    VIP June 2018
    Katy ·
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    That's a tough one. I'd opt not to invite her and have a very frank conversation with her if she asks about it.

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  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·
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    I have an uncle and several cousins who abuse alcohol. They were not invited. And I don't regret the decision.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Don't invite her...if they are assaulting family members? Nope.

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  • Bemyguest
    Master April 2017
    Bemyguest ·
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    Your concern is for the safety of your guests, and putting them in a situation where someone may assault them or sexually harass them is not okay. I don't think she should be invited, and you may need to tell your DOC or security that she is not allowed in.

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  • Sos0033
    VIP September 2017
    Sos0033 ·
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    I'd rather not invite her and deal with the comments about it vs inviting her and then other family members not attending out of fear.

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  • TwistedPrincess
    Super May 2018
    TwistedPrincess ·
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    I wouldn't invite her.

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  • september2018
    Devoted September 2018
    september2018 ·
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    I wouldn't invite her. But make sure you have a conversation with her so she doesn't just show up

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Don't invite her. And make it crystal clear to grandma that aunt is not invited. I would also potentially look into hiring security

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  • Kelsey
    Expert October 2018
    Kelsey ·
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    Its your day...invite who you want and who will.make you happy.

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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    If it were just that she was an alcoholic, I would say invite her but warn bar tender, but the assault? I would take grandma out to lunch (if she lives local) and tell her you are looking forward to her coming, and hand her the invite.

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  • Brenda
    Super September 2017
    Brenda ·
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    I would not invite her. Besides, tip toeing around her is just enabling her addiction (and that is just a disservice to her). Best of luck!

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Nope, i wouldn't invite someone who has assaulted other family members.

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  • mtall912
    Super October 2018
    mtall912 ·
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    I wouldn't invite her

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  • M
    Devoted April 2017
    Miranda ·
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    Don't invite and have security at the venue to escort out

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  • Tiffany
    Devoted August 2017
    Tiffany ·
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    Definitely do not invite her. Maybe give your grandmother her card in person? I would make clear to her why your aunt is not invited. Have someone keep an eye out for your aunt on the day and send her home if she does show.

    If you have a bartender, she shouldn't be able to get drunk to start with because they should cut her off. However, of the very few alcoholics I know, they somehow always seem to find a way around that and still get drunk whether they sneak their own alcohol or they get someone else to get it for them.

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  • Gracie Lou Freebush
    VIP October 2017
    Gracie Lou Freebush ·
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    Just don't invite her

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    If not inviting her becomes an issue, you only need to use two words: assault and arrest.

    Even if your parents felt so bad that they agreed to babysit her all night (and they haven't offered), they can't follow her into a bathroom stall where she'll be drinking from her flask. This type of individual WILL drink, regardless of what measures the bartender takes. When she drinks, she loses control, and that might result in her having to be physically removed from your wedding. You don't want your wedding to be remembered because the drunk lady struck again (not to mention the fact that she might decide this is the perfect opportunity to confront those family members who will not speak to her, and that will go horribly wrong). There's just too much risk on too many fronts. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" fits this situation perfectly .

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  • T
    Super November 2019
    Tricia ·
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    I'd be blunt and tell it to her face. I don't feel bad for being a bitch when it comes to shit like this. My entire family (my mom's side) is a bunch of crazies who gossip and say shit about people behind their backs all the time who have never done a single nice thing to me or bothered to get to know who I am. They don't respect my views on life and always think I'm joking when I say I'm an atheist or that I hate children. They can't be trusted in public (I literally have an aunt who brings a trash bag to every family get together to take food back home with her at the end of the day) and I don't care who I'm gonna hurt or what relationships will be ruined by not inviting to our wedding. I'm only inviting my mother and brother from my family and that's it. Just stick to your guns!

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