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Mrs.a
Master October 2021

Dress woes

Mrs.a, on August 26, 2020 at 2:13 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 46
37 days together and feeling overwhelmed, plus there’s a lot going on otherwise. Idk if it’s grief settling in as well as nervousness but I feel even more indecisive lately. I’ve gone back-and-forth with dresses so much I just want to choose a dress and be done with my decision. Originally I chose one that is all sequined, which I loved. But after wearing an all over glitter/sequin dress for our commitment ceremony I could tell FH was disappointed in that dress so that makes me nervous to even consider the sequin wedding dress I originally chose or wear the commitment ceremony dress twice. I bought a dress that he really likes but the more I look at it & think about it, I’m not happy with it. I like it, but it doesn’t feel like me nor does it feel like a wedding dress. So I’ve been looking at other dresses that are available and I could get rather quickly now that we are down to the wire. Each dress I show to him he hardly even looks at and says he really wants me to keep the one he agreed on and wear it (and I feel like it’s more for the sake of wearing it just because I already have it. Mind you I can still return it for a full refund).


Here’s a pic of the dress he chose:Dress woes 1

This is one I’m really considering buying that is similar to the silhouette and design of sequin dress I originally picked out:Dress woes 2
Dress woes 3

I asked him if he likes it and he keeps insisting to wear the other dress. He asked if I don’t like the other dress and I’ve explained as much what I like and what I don’t like and I just get a sense that he’s a little disappointed. I just want to make him happy but also be happy lol and right now there are so many other things going on in our lives our wedding is something special to really look forward to so I want it to be really special for us. After seeing his disappointment with the first dress I chose I don’t want that for our wedding day. Help!

46 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.a, on August 26, 2020 at 2:20 PM
  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    37 days to go! Lol
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  • K
    Devoted August 2020
    Kate ·
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    I think you should choose what you feel your absolute best in, and what you would be more excited to wear. Honestly, he should love it simply because you love it and you’re his bride. I would hope that on your wedding day, he wouldn’t show any kind of disappointment at all! Are you getting to choose what he wears?
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Lol he did ask for my opinion on suits although he is keeping elements of accessories a surprise.
    He didn’t mean to show disappointment. I’m just really good at reading him, and I could tell as much as he said he liked the dress that he really didn’t like it that much. I asked him if I should wear the commitment ceremony dress or another dress for our minimony, and when he said another dress I knew he didn’t like it as much. When the new dress, the one he picked came, he said he liked it much better. His heart’s in the right place, but I could just tell.
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  • Laquita
    Expert July 2021
    Laquita ·
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    Choose what is best for you & what makes you feel good, don't go off of others' feelings because you will always feel some form of regret. I'm sure he'll love what you wear regardless so don't think too much about his reactions & focus on your own feelings.

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Remind us.. where are you getting married?
    (The minimoney)
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    At a Garden in a Park (mind you it will be October and the leaves will be changing)

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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Aside from the open spot where the Gazebo is, much of it is woodsy.

    Dress woes 4

    Dress woes 5

    Dress woes 6

    Dress woes 7


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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Personally, I adore the dress your fiancé picked out (especially for an Autumn garden location)! It’s so whimsical, and manages to feel both vintage and modern. Not to mention, your figure looks amazing in it (hello tiny waistline)! I think with all the stressful things surrounding your weddings and FMIL, it is likely wearing on you. And it’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of uncertainty when you have been forced to change plans over & over again. Other pros with this dress: you already know your fiancé loves it, so no chance for disappointment. You still have another ceremony where you KNOW you LOVE your dress! You already own it, so no more unexpected costs, and no pressure to frantically try to find something else.
    That being said, you deserve to feel beautiful on your special day. So, if you do some soul-searching and determine you really do not like this dress, then you should definitely wear whatever you do feel beautiful in.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Also, is there a reason you are not wearing the celestial dress to your minimoney?? It is absolutely gorgeous! I would jump at the chance to wear that dress twice!
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Haha yeah, I ordered it and it won’t be here in time for the Minimony. I may have it a week or two prior if I’m lucky but not enough time for alterations.

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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Thank you! These are all very good points! Smiley smile

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Maybe you’ll get lucky and it will come in early and not require alterations to wear for the minimoney! 🤞🏻🤞🏻
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Hah! That would be amazing! It would need to be here in the next 1-2 weeks.

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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Although FH really wants to be surprised for Spring. I mentioned wearing the same dress for both Minimony and Vow Renewal and he said he would rather I save that dress for Spring.

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    I don’t think you can lose then. The spring will be your big celebration with everybody, and your dress will look stunning! Since this is just a small ceremony with the two of you, I wouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself & the dress. It is going to be such a beautiful, intimate moment between you and your fiancé- that is what I’d focus on ❤️
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Pick a dress that makes you feel beautiful and DON'T share it with him. Smiley laugh Let him be surprised. And don't buy a dress unless you try it on in person.

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  • Sara
    Expert August 2021
    Sara ·
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    Is he wearing the dress? No? Then go with what you want. If you go with something you don't truly love then you will regret it. And he should love you in no matter you wear.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    The one he likes has a sort of modest innocence, which the bare top and back of the second and your other dress ( if I remember right.) do not have at all. Many people, likely FI, consider that more bridal, and body hugging and bare more evening/club/bedroom.
    Where are you going to be in October that leaves change, where bare arms and back won't leave you chilly and looking out of place? And goose bumps under elaborate makeup really look a mess.
    I know brides who thought they would tough out spring or fall weddings with bare arms and shoulders for an hour or so. Having seen themselves in the mirror looking gorgeous before they started, after the wedding they were upset by all pictures after a long while just a little chill. They looked all tight and cold, hugging arms to themselves. You might please FI with something more covered, and be comfortably warm too.
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    We’re in southern PA and the temp could vary. I’m getting a shawl just in case it is cooler.
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I’m doing this for our vow renewal so I would really like this to be something we both love 😊
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