Dress Shopping w/out Mom?

Yes I have my FSIL/ FMIL and all my bridesmaids.

I just feel like going without her will also make things worse between us.

I want to go shopping but I'm worried I'm just going to be waiting for her to come around/ feeling guilty the whole time she's not there.

This could be a good time to offer an olive branch. You don't want to be fighting with your mom through your wedding day.

You can always extend an invitation. Maybe use it as a way in to talk out the problem and try to make amends all around.

I would recommend going over to her house, walk in and just say mom this fighting stuff is stressing me out. You could apologize if you wish and then tell her that you really miss talking to her, or whatever you miss and tell her that you really want her to go dress shopping with you. Sometimes just saying your sorry softens everything. I'm not saying this is your fault by any means. Good luck

Extend an invite and see what she does with it. Like others have said, this could be a nice olive branch. If she accepts, it's a step in the right direction. If she declines, at least you did the right thing by trying to include her. My mom and I have our ups and downs too and my dad always tells me to just do the right thing by her and let the chips fall where they may. Spoiler: she always comes around.

My mom died when I was 9, I have never had her there for any important moments in my life.

Please make up with her if you can. And share in the special time. Cherish it. ETA as others have said this could def be a perfect opportunity to reach out and hopefully you two can move in a positive direction.

I've been going with friends and my sister to a few appointments and when I find the dress I really like I plan on bringing my mom along

Where did you get the idea that's supposed to be a special time for mothers and daughters? If you would enjoy having your mother there, and she'd enjoy being there, that's fine. But even in a good relationship, it's not an obligation. And in a relationship that's otherwise frayed, it's a recipe for disaster.

My mom and I are not super close. She offered to pay for the dress and I took her to the first appt. I found the dress on my 2nd appt. and she could not go because she went on vacation. It was fine. I sent pics and she loves it. I never thought it would be a special moment between her and I. I didn't even know that was a thing until say yes to the dress.

I'm in the EXACTLY same boat and I took my sister with me and we actually found my dress and celebrated with each other.

My mom is kind of difficult too and is acting so aloof about my wedding. I went without her, with just a friend and sister. I did miss her, and she later expressed resentment that I didn't insist that she attend... well what could I say? Just shrugged and accepted that the problems with her.

My point is this: Talk to her, ask her, give her a couple days to think about it, and if she still doesn't come around then go without her.

If you aren't close to your mom by all means it's not special to have her there of course.

In my opinion, it was always something I wish I would have done with my mom along with all the other "milestones". Maybe because I have missed so many things with her I put certain things on a pedestal.

Thank you everyone. These suggestions are definitely helping me try to figure out my situation!

Go with someone else

Wait on your mom and try and fix it my mom died 2 and a half months before my wedding so it was heartbreaking but I did have dress shopping with her to look back on

I would try to smooth things over before trying to take her dress shopping. You don't want discord to overshadow the joy of finding the perfect dress.

I love my mom dearly, but she can make me homicidal in 30 seconds flat. I plan to shop with friends first and then take her once I've found the one.

I would message or call her to ask if she would like to come with you. It might be just what you guys need to smooth over this big fight, and since it's so important to you (and probably her) you don't want to regret that for the rest of your life. Also, if you don't include her that could make the fight worse!

I chose not to invite my mother. We aren't fighting but she had gone with my sister and was awful. She had her own ideas of what my sister should wear and really brought the mood down and pushed my sister out of the dress we both agreed was the one. I picked a close friend and sister to go that i knew would be supportive and positive for the experience. We ended up skyping my mom and another sister and that was perfect. It let everyone be supportive and happy without changing my vision for my dress. If there is conflict I wouldn't want to deal with that negative energy while dress shopping, pick someone else your close with to go.

I don't get along with my mom and was really stressed out that she was going to be upset if I excluded her from this super important mother-daughter life event. But I knew I would be miserable with her there, so I just went with my brother, who is my Man of Honor. It was wonderful and I am ecstatic that I did not succumb to my worry and go with mom. Above all, it should be a great experience for you. Don't go with anyone who will bring you down. It's about you, not them.

I shopped pretty much on my own (well with my potted plant of a brother) and then I took mom to see my dress later and it was catastrophic. She picked out other dresses and had me second guessing my pick. I had a nightmare about it later!