Dress Code

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Great idea, thanks!

Common sense you'd think it is right? My husbands cousin showed up to our wedding in light blue jeans that were ripped in some places with a bright red graphic tee shirt and a red snap back hat, oh yeah and red shoes to match. He stood out like a sore thumb, my family and guests even asked me why the guy that was setting up is in my wedding? Yeah it was pretty sad for him though, not for me. I did however pull him to the side mid wedding and told him how ridiculous he looked and asked him what happened and he told us that he did not know our wedding would be this fancy, lol!!! Next day he called and apologized for not dressing up, put it on your website and tell people by word of mouth. What to do if they show up in "inappropriate" attire? Nothing I mean what if they simply wore their best outfit? Dress code sounds so elementary school and this is a wedding, my website simply said dress to impress!

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Dress to impress, I like it! Thanks for sharing that with me

Honestly, even if you did put the dress code on your invites and shouted it to the rooftops, there's still no guarantee that everyone is going to follow it. As PP said, this is one of those things you can't control, so you have to just let it go and save the energy for more important things.

I look at it this way: looking back in 5 years, are you really going to care that someone was underdressed for your wedding? In 10 years when you are reminiscing on this special day are you going to be annoyed about that one guy who wore jeans? I'm guessing not. Hell, you'll be too busy on the actual day to even notice it much! Other than myself and my FH and the BP, I could not care less what guests wear to my wedding. It's not my problem. If they look ridiculous, they're only embarrassing themselves.

Honestly, this is one of my greatest fears. You can only hope that adults would have the self-awareness to dress appropriately to a wedding. Ours is at night, in December, at a very nice golf course. Here's to no jeans. *crosses fingers*.

A few years ago, I was in a friend's wedding that was casual on a Sunday afternoon. You would think Sunday best at least, right? Not her uncle. He rolled up in ripped overalls, a plaid shirt, muddy boots, and trucker cap. No lie...

I think it's kind of the idea some people have when it comes to church:

God doesn't judge you for coming to church wearing a t-shirt and jeans. God just cares that you showed up.

Now I'm not saying this person should come to your wedding in jeans and a t-shirt. I would hope they're going to be dressed appropriately enough (khakis and a dress shirt, etc.) But if you value them and can't see your day without them, what they wear shouldn't matter. If it's about pictures, you could always have instructions for your photographer to avoid snapping pictures with people not dressed the way you want.

Yeah, adults can dress themselves however they see fit and are comfortable with. The only time you should put a dress code on an invitation is if your event is TRULY black tie or if your venue has specific limitations (example: jackets for men). All other times, you go with the flow and appreciate that people are coming to support you on your big day.

Also want to add that if this guest is ASKING you what to wear, it is totally ok to say something like "most people will probably be in cocktail dresses or slacks/buttons downs - we look forward to seeing you there!".

It is not ok to specifically suggest what he/she should wear or suggest that they buy a new outfit. "you definitely need to wear dress pants/shirt or a cocktail dress, if you don't have something maybe you should go shopping!" is not something you should EVER say to someone.

View Quoted Comment Yea that is a bit much I get one people don’t have a lot of money and dress up as much as they can.

It's actually inappropriate for you to try to control how your guests dress. The only time you should indicate a dress code is if it's a venue policy (e.g. a church or social club's dress requirements) or if the event is a black tie or white tie event, in which case you're letting them know about the style of event, not dress code, but it happens to have an accepted dress code that goes with it and is in the name. Otherwise you just indicate the level of formality of the event by your time, location, and invitation suite.

You should not put the level of formality of dress on the actual invitation, unless it is white tie, or black tie. And for cocktail type clothing, evening, it is dressy clothing, not formal, not business attire, not casual. Maybe this person just does not know what you mean by cocktail attire. If you put that on your website, or on an insert that has hotel info etc., that is it. You cannot enforce a dress code. Hope your friends and family are adults, and know what dress up, not formal or cocktail attire means. And that somewhere they have at least 1 set of nice clothes. This is not a film. Your wedding is an event in your life. People who care about you want to come. But don't stress yourself out about each and every guest, and what they wear. Beyond telling them the formality, it is not polite to dictate what adults wear, or enforce it, at social events. Let it go.