Dress code debate--weigh in

I mean if it’s on the invite it might as well be on the website. I also think bride and groom should have a say since weddings are so so expensive. If someone has a problem with it they don’t have to attend the wedding. I have never seen outrageous requests. I did see one on tik tok where a girl said her family went crazy because she asked everyone where neutral shades to make photos appear better. She specified even like navy blue was included in that neutral but her family like freaked out. I don’t see it as unreasonable. Weddings are expensive

We will be putting our dress code as formal on both the website and invites! Jeans aren’t preferred but it’s not a biggie if it looks formal

I will most likely be putting a small something on our website, mostly because our ceremony will be outdoors and I want to let people know to dress accordingly. I am also worried because our venue is a wedding barn that people will take that as a cue to wear jeans when we're setting up the whole thing to be a little more formal than that. When we first booked the venue my MIL said "Great! I don't have to find a dress since we can wear jeans!" Uh, no... it's still a wedding... Even if we're not going crazy formal I'd much prefer people to show up in like khakis.

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Yes! I feel like with certain crowds it's just easier because they don't always get it lol. I went to a funeral with my FH when we had been dating for about a year and we dressed in what my family would consider appropriate funeral attire because he asked me what to wear (me in dress pants & a blouse, him in dress pants with a button up shirt and tie) and when we got there EVERYONE was in jeans and we stuck out like crazy. I just know we would have people show up in like jeans and their best t-shirt if we didn't specify.

I was raised by a couple very prim and proper Southern ladies who drilled etiquette into you at a young age and you knew how to behave in public as a kid without supervision. But they have always mentioned that dress code does *not* belong on the invite unless the venue requires it for entry similar to the ultra formality of the Oscars. If there is anything out of the ordinary beyond the default Sunday Best semi formal, then it is mentioned by word of mouth. Websites have replaced people in that respect. (Same with physical registry info and save the dates passed by word of mouth which are now published online or sent via post cards)

Based on that, if you stray from etiquette in my family, you would be talked about negatively. If dress code is listed on the invite it would be talked negatively about and be largely ignored in favor of the default Sunday Best semi formal. While people know that jeans or whatever is not preferred, they would rather accept the guest’s company instead of making a fuss and kicking them out.

We'll have a small blurp about cocktail attire and please no jeans on our website because at least half of my family will try to wear jeans unless they're told not to. Especially since we're getting married at a zoo.

I agree that people need to research what they're requesting, because if I got an invite for a black-tie event and it was a bbq dinner in barn I'd be upset.

Ultimately I think as long as your dress code won't inconvenience somebody it's not out of line to request a certain level of dress. Close family that will be in a lot of photos I think you could say 'Hey, can you wear something in blank color family?' but also respect the decision if they don't.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been saying everyone on this site must not have family from Texas or Louisiana. I do and will definitely have a suggested dress code on my website.

We are specifying on our website. I’m our case, we worry our guests will overdress, and spend a ton of money that they don’t need to, so we’re just stating “business casual.” Ultimately, they’re going to dress how they want anyway.

View Quoted Comment My family is from TX lol

We’re putting ours on the message sheet inside the invitation and on the website. Leaving it off the wedding invitation itself.