Dreading the wedding..

Why is your mom planning your wedding?

We're kinda doing it together. Everything gets ran by me but shes paid for every dime so far. And shes done this several times before and knows her stuff. Therefore it was a good budget idea at the time

I've gotten stressed and feeling of wanting the planning to be over, but in general I'm very happy about my wedding. You really shouldn't have let your mother plan your wedding.

Why aren't you planning your own wedding? Just curious.

I think putting a mom or parent into a wedding like this is like jeopardy. I would straight up tell ur mom she's Making u dread the wedding. U can't even change UR hair. I'm sorry ur going through this and I'm sorry ur dreading the wedding bc of ur mom. Really.

Be happy that besides all that crap. U will be marrying ur love.

Ur mom is really unfair. I would confront her

I feel your pain !! My parents are paying for the whole wedding and I feel like it's my mothers wedding. It mine . Here have been multiple arguments over everything from invitations to who is being invited . I've tried to explain to her it's my wedding not hers and that she already had a wedding let me have have the wedding the way I want it , I was told if you want it done your way then you pay for it . In the end I've learned just go along with whatever she wants and just show up . It's not worth arguing and stressing over something for one day .

I'm planning my wedding with my mom. It's not unheard of. I'm sorry you're going through this just a few days before the wedding. Emotions are running high right now. But I don't think it's a good idea to do any major change just before the wedding. Highlights, spray tan, botox, anything. It may not come out the way you want, something could go wrong with the color. It's just risky. Take it from the girl who decided to be a redhead before prom. Bad idea. Can you call a friend to vent. Your wedding will come together. Try to enjoy it.

Well i text her and apologized even though i truly feel she should've apologized first for acting like she did. I only apologized so we could get passed it and move on. But its been hours and nothing.

Is she usually like this? Or is this new behavior?

Just breathe n get some sleep.. your Mom will more than likely contact you tmro....

@Maria Well we used to ALWAYS fight but when i moved out a while ago we started to get better(space can do that) but now that we've been around each other so much over this wedding its like we're back to square one of living under the same roof.

You have four days till your wedding so obviously it's too late to change anything. What I would do is just try to make up with your mom and tell her how you feel, it sounds like she's being very controlling and boundaries need to be set...you're an adult and can make your own choices. I've been through this with my mom before, it's definitely hard but you have to let her know and draw a hard line.

ETA: I'm glad you reached out to your mom, like others have said she'll most likely call you tomorrow. Try to relax I'm sure it will all work out before the wedding..when your day comes just enjoy it the best you can.

That's very common and unfortunately similar to my dynamic with my mom. Space is great. I don't know what time zone you're in but ambrok is right, she'll contact you tomorrow. She probably needs to cool off. Try to relax and sleep. Is your FS around? A non WW friend you can call? I think those things help.

FS is sleeping. Which ya'll have a point, I probably should be too. I just needed to see if anyone else getting married has a controlling mother as well so I don't go completely crazy. Thanks for all the advice!

Controlling mother: check haha. I really don't think drama like this is uncommon. You've been planning for a long time and it's stressful. I remember years ago when my cousin was getting married. I was her bridesmaid and we were getting our nails done, doing wedding errands or something. My cousin, her mother (my aunt), and I were in the car and they started fighting about something. My aunt threatened to exit the moving car. I had NEVER seen them behave that way. That's wedding week apparently.

FutureMrs.Eckley brought up a great point about boundaries. Super important. So is choosing your battles and that can be a tough call to make. 4 days before the wedding... maybe let some things go. But this is super important if you decide to have children and other big life decisions. You're starting your family away from your parents. That freaks them out! But they need to get used to it.

Your wedding is not about you and your mother...it's about you and your beloved, and if she's making you dread something this important, it's time to take some steps away from her. You let her plan (and pay for) your wedding. There are ropes attached to that, not strings.

Remember, the second sentence of your post was "My mom is planning my wedding...". So, now you've had a fight and the big threat issued by mom, the hairdresser is "(i) will regret changing my hair and that she pretty much won't do it."

This is a baby step you're ready to take. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to get on the phone tomorrow and call a stylist to do your own hair (it's probably time). Then, there's no reason to call your mother. Let her call you, and when she does, and she will, you can tell her your hair is handled. No argument, no discussion....just handled.

Or, you can continue to pretend that she won't win if you don't become pro-active. It's time, honey.

My mom helps me a lot with ideas, mostly because she's done this before and I haven't. She thinks of things I previously hadn't. However, she's not paying and if I don't like something I veto it. I just appreciate the advice and help. As far as your hair i would tell her it's what you want and if she won't do it you will get it done elsewhere.

Then just get your hair done independently.. Also, why is she paying for everything?

Your'e dying your hair 4 days before you wedding? That seems like a risk I wouldn't take.

Hence: why people should pay for there're own wedding. Fh and I are paying our own way. No one can hold anything over our heads or be put into a predicament like this