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Dedicated February 2022

Downgrade or Scrap the whole wedding???? 😩🤦🏽‍♀️

Deborah, on July 15, 2019 at 6:30 PM Posted in Planning 0 23

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Future husband and I are no spring chickens. At the time of our nuptials he will have crossed over to his 40s and I will be right behind him. We were putting together our 5 year plan the other day. Buying a house wasn’t something we thought we would do anytime soon. We both pretty much started life over in our 30s and are playing catch-up. As we started planning we realized that a house could really be a reality within 5 years... just not alongside a wedding with a 12k-15k budget.

He’s the logical one and I’m the dreamer. He is all for going to the justice of the peace and little honeymoon and getting back to our goals. I know I sound like a spoiled brat but I want a wedding... at least a reception... something to celebrate the big step we took... we agreed to “something” under 5k. That is insanely hard in NYC.

Should l just throw in the towel and elope and go on vacation... or should I bust my butt finding a way to make something happen even if on a small basic scale so that I can get my wish of a celebration without going against our 5k agreement?

as an added note. I was married before very young and eloped at city hall. That is why this means that much to me...

thoughts opinions suggestions recommendations... all is welcome.

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23 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on July 16, 2019 at 2:10 AM

Super July 2021
Alycia · on July 15, 2019 at 6:44 PM
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Have a wedding and enjoy it! Remember all you "need" to get married is:
1. Officiant
2. License
3. Witnesses

Witnesses are free. The license is cheap. Officiants can be hired for $150- $250. So being safe, you can spend about $4700 on the rest. Buy a dress, have a simple cake made, invite only your closest friends and family. Dinner can be at a nice banquet restaurant. Go dancing at your favorite spot in NYC afterward. (Wear your dress if you want! Everyone will love seeing you!) As for the wedding venue, choose a park, lakefront, or another public area for free. Drive around with your fiance and find a spot that is beautiful and has natural "decorations". (Trees, flowers, grass, water... With this beauty around you, who needs a florist and ribbons?!)
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Super July 2020
D · on July 15, 2019 at 6:46 PM
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I would start by pricing slightly outside your area if possible. 30 minutes to an hour away can make a big difference budget wise.

Buying a house is certainly a very important decision but also is having a wedding you are happy with. I would say wait for a bigger wedding but your home buying is already on a 5 year plan and not like 2 years. You could be waiting 10 years for the vow renewal you wish you had the first time.

5k is doable but does take time to price hunt. Doing some DIY is important, not splurging on flowers, not spending too much money on a dress, etc. You can do it! It does take a little more effort to be a budget bride.
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 6:52 PM
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That was so empowering I feel better already. We are having a winter wedding. 2/22/22 so outdoors is out. But I think my groom close family and friends some cake food and music and I’ll be happy. I just don’t want the day to pass by like any other day.
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Expert October 2020
Sara · on July 15, 2019 at 6:55 PM
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5k will be tough in NYC, but I think if your willing to really work and make some compromises you'll be able to do something. Try off season and check out some restaurants. No matter what you might not get your "dream", but figure out a way to get close to you. Use a cash back or rewards credit card and pay it right away, buy things online and on sale, maybe just a brunch wedding or cocktails and cake?
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 6:57 PM
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That’s what I did last time. The vow renewal never happened. Life kept happening... I’ve been looking at diy. There’s some really nice things I’ve seen people create out of dollar tree items! I’ve found a small venue. It holds up to 75 people. Downside it’s in a basement. Upside when it’s decorated (included in the $1000) it doesn’t look like a basement. Its no Antuns (the place I wanted to get married at...) but it’s for sure better than nothing
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on July 15, 2019 at 7:13 PM
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I think you should have the wedding but scaled back.. More intimate Looking back I wish we did that..ours will still be nice but just with more people than we originally wanted (and a bit more $&dollar. I came across this article looking for some things to help you in NYC.. It may be a good starting point.. Just an idea of a budget breakdown. https://citywendy.typepad.com/wendy/2009/08/how-i-threw-a-budget-wedding-in-new-york-city.html
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 7:14 PM
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This is the venue I found. It’s split in two I’m sure I can make it work. 2,250 I get the venue decorated including set up and breakdown and clean up as well as food for 50 people 🤔🤔🤔 is be happy with this... I have a free DJ... can’t I do all these with just over 2500???
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Super September 2021
Sharon · on July 15, 2019 at 7:14 PM
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You don't sound like a spoiled brat at all. It's an important day and should be treated as such. That's definitely a small budget for NYC but you can save money on things along the way. Buy a dress on Amazon, yes they have wedding dresses, veils, headpieces, shoes etc you can get on Amazon for not a lot of money. You can DIY a lot of the decorations and invitations. You might have to be very limited with your guest list but you can do it. You might regret it if you don't have your wedding, even if it's not the exact one in your dreams.
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on July 15, 2019 at 7:16 PM
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Https://www.herecomestheguide.com/new-york/wedding-venues/cheap
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Super September 2021
Sharon · on July 15, 2019 at 7:16 PM
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That looks nice! You can absolutely make this work.
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Super July 2021
Alycia · on July 15, 2019 at 7:19 PM
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So glad you are feeling the possibilities! Your day will be so memorable!
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on July 15, 2019 at 7:29 PM
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I'm an even older bride than you, and even though I don't need a wedding, I wanted one. I've never been married, and having a beautiful wedding is something I always hoped for. But in the last 10-15 years, I came to believe I would never have that.
Then FH got together, and now we're engaged, and even though he's been married before, he knew I had never had a wedding. So, he said I should get what I want. So I'm having a wedding.
We did have a longer engagement than I wanted, simply to have more time to save for the wedding I wanted.
But whether you do it on a $5K or $15K budget, you should still have what you want. Don't deny yourself that. Life is too short to settle for "just ok."
If the wedding you want doesn't fit into your 5-year plan, maybe push it out to 6 or 7 years out. Even 10, if that's what it takes. Don't give up your dream!!
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 7:32 PM
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Thanks y’all!!! I was really feeling so down and just over it 🤦🏽‍♀️ Trying to convince myself it’s the love that matters 😩😩 and it is the love that matters but I want to celebrate that. I want to share it with those close to us and have memories for a lifetime.
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Dedicated May 2020
Colleen · on July 15, 2019 at 7:45 PM
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For under $5k you could go to a nice dinner with your immediate families. If you talk to the restaurant you could make up a menu for your event so that people can’t order anything off the regular menu. Also a plus would be a BYOB restaurant but I know those aren’t very common in the city.
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Super July 2020
D · on July 15, 2019 at 9:12 PM
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This looks promising. I'd go over your guest list and make sure 50 is the number. Talk to the venue and set up a tour. It's a reasonable price.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 15, 2019 at 9:53 PM
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Have the wedding. But scaled back. I remember having the same thought in my head where I wondered if spending that money on this wedding was worth it when we can direct it towards savings for a home. But I knew I'd regret not having something too. Money can always be earned and saved.
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on July 15, 2019 at 9:55 PM
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You can still have a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank. My fiancé and I got married at our church and had our reception at our local fire hall.
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 10:23 PM
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Scale back is definitely a must. I have champagne dreams on a tap water budget 😂😂😂 I envisioned photoshoots and all of these elaborate things. Thanks to y’all helping me out it into perspective I definitely think something nice to celebrate our union and being able to buy a house within a year maybe two after would feel nice. I definitely don’t want to always look back on my wedding day with regret... not because I didn’t have one but because the money spent could have me looking back from inside a house we purchased instead of from an apartment we are still renting. When we hit a decade I will definitely endeavor to have something elaborate. We both work and go to school. 10 years from now we should both be successful mental health professionals 😁
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Dedicated February 2022
Deborah · on July 15, 2019 at 10:27 PM
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50 is the minimum the venue will accept. We decided if we have to go small then immediate family only and the children. With our parents siblings children nieces and nephews combined we will have a few slots to spare for our closest friends
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Master June 2020
Anna · on July 15, 2019 at 10:50 PM
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We aren't spring chickens either. We plan on buying a house at some point, but he knows a wedding is my dream. I've been engaged, but never married.

So we are continuing to rent a house until after the wedding.
The wedding, is really more important to me.

We have both previously owed homes of our own. I actually love our rental.
Our budget is 15k for the wedding. Could it be spent on a house instead? Sure, but ultimately, my happiness is more important to him, and I love him all the more for it.

I say...have a wedding, it's your hearts desire xoxo
Good luck! 🤞🙏
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