Doubts...?

I was nervous for the production of the wedding, but had no nerves for the man I chose. There is a great book - 100 questions to ask before I do- and it is a great exercise to do it together. Also, maybe some counseling- in Texas, if you get premarital counseling you can get your marriage license for free- good excuse to get counseling.

Honestly- I don't believe anyone who says they're 100% sure about making such a commitment. I think it's sincere to say you have doubts and that you have fears and maybe even some reservations. If you can imagine your life without your SO, but only imagine it 1000x better with him/her in it, then you know you are making the right choice- and that's what it's all about right?

"I choose you to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, and trusting of what you will become. I will respect and honor you in all ways always. With you I pledge to repair one small piece of the world. I take you to be my spouse, to have and to hold, in tears and in laughter, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward in this world and the next."

Hope this helps.

I had doubt about the idea of being married but never had any doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. What are your doubts? Marriage itself or the man?

Sonja, maybe because I'm an older bride (46), but I am absolutely certain about making this commitment. This is my first (& only) marriage. I waited until I found the person that I do feel that certain about. We may have our tiffs, but there is no doubt that I want him by my side for the rest of my life.

I love my fiancé more than words can express. I'm just feeling like maybe marriage isn't right, right now...idk

Is there anything in particular that's making you feel like this isn't the right time?

You should look into premarital counseling! Keep in mind, that just because you love him and want him to be your husband, does not mean that now is the right time to get married. Do what you need to do.

Yes, definitely look into counseling!

Doubts, no. A little nervousness at the full realization that you're committing your entire life to someone and making such a huge commitment, yes that's normal. But if you're doubting anything, you need to seek counseling.

Frankly, you should attend at least pre-marital counseling even if you feel you have an absolutely perfect relationship. I was one of those people. Pre-marital counseling was amazing.

What kind of doubts? I don't doubt our relationship, I'm not a person who thought I'd be married, but I have no doubts about marrying FH. What sort of doubts are you having?

I have had no doubts about marrying FH, since the day we met I felt like we've known each other in a past life somewhere, and had been married in that past life. We transitioned into living together way easier than I have with anyone else I've ever been with. I'm nervous as hell and I have over a year before my wedding date...but that's because I have never planned a party at my house let alone a wedding and I'm afraid of doing something wrong and it coming out horrible like FH's sisters wedding did, it was beautiful but after being back on here for a few weeks before her wedding I could look at her self-catered, friendor wedding and know that it wasn't what I wanted...

if you're having doubts, I would do as sass has suggested and do some pre-marital counseling, it can help ease the doubts and help ease into being married.

Nerves and doubt are two different things. Nerves: oh my goodness my life is going to change. Doubt: is this the right thing? I'd urge you to sit down and really think about everything and maybe get some counseling. It's ok to be nervous and apprehensive because marriage is huge.

I have definitely had doubts about paying for this wedding and wondering if we should have done something small & intimate. And I have not doubts but nerves about marriage itself, especially because both our parents are divorced. What sorts of doubts are you feeling?

OP, I've also seen you post before and you have 3 stars. Come on, join the community!! Upload a nice photo of yourself, or just something you find amusing. Help us tell you apart from the 20 other double ring avatars on the first page. https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/hey-you-double-ring-avatar-newbie/50de24d8d3a459ee.html

And seriously, it's normal to doubt your wedding plans. It's not normal to doubt your decision to make the person you're supposed to marry.

Just because you are destined to be together doesn't mean that you are ready to get married. I've been with FH for 5-1/2 years now and we've lived together for 4-1/2. We just got engaged in May. It will be almost 7 by the time we get married. We had always talked about a future together and knew that we would get there some day but we just weren't ready. I had been more focused on finishing school and starting my career. Now that I am done with school and have established myself, I am 100% ready to commit myself to someone for the rest of my life. I couldn't/wouldn't want to experience life without him. I would definitely do premarital counseling to determine if you are ready to get married. Like I said, just because you aren't ready to get married doesn't mean he isn't the one you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. ETA: autocorrect

Sorry OP. I haven't had doubts about marrying him. I know what it feels like though from previous relationships. What I will say is you need to pay attention to your gut feeling. Sounds like counseling is in order.

I think all brides hit that "oh god I'm really doing this" feeling. Especially the closer your day gets. I think I'm about 54 days out and I'm starting to question everything im doing. It's totally normal. We have to realize that we don't like change-people in general. This is a big change. A forever commitment so it's normal to think " is this the right thing to do?" Just breathe and reassure yourself that you are making the right choice. If you are really feeling like you shouldn't go through with it then maybe you should talk to him about it. Communication is key. He's probably just as nervous as you.

I dont think i ever doubted if i wanted to be married..perhaps if i wanted to cook regularly but thats about it. He's my best friend..we're always together so it doemsnt seem any different

Planning a wedding is stressful- we can all agree on that. Stress comes with other issues and feelings that aren't fun to deal with.

Check into premarital counseling.

FH and I did it. Both of us were pretty skeptical and didn't feel like we needed it. However, it was really helpful and completely confirmed everything for us.

Also maybe you're just nervous. Which is normal!!

It's easy for us to get caught up in all the planning.

It's okay to just take a little break from planning and relax a little and enjoy your engagement.

I had a decent size freakout/nerves about 4 months out, mostly about finances and his career plans (i.e. 'what am I getting myself into long-term, how limited will our options for retirement and kids' college be?') We had some hard arguments and he's shown that he takes my worries seriously, and has taken steps to improve his work/earning prospects. And some family members talked me down about my priorities and perception of other peoples' relationships - i.e. "you never see the worst part of other people's marriages, so stop comparing your worst moments to their better ones."

That said, if there are major life issues where you don't see eye to eye or have horrible communication, have those fights now. If you STILL don't get movement or compromise after that, then it might be time to reconsider.

And of course, if he's bullying or abusive, call it off NOW.