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Fmv
Super October 2020

Double standard friend

Fmv, on August 9, 2020 at 9:58 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 24

Need some advice on what to do. So one of oldest friends got married last year, and is getting divorced already-the guy cheated. She has since moved back to her parents house. Fast forward to my wedding, she messaged me saying she cant come to my bridal shower(my shower will have 15 people) because...
Need some advice on what to do.
So one of oldest friends got married last year, and is getting divorced already-the guy cheated. She has since moved back to her parents house.


Fast forward to my wedding, she messaged me saying she cant come to my bridal shower(my shower will have 15 people) because her mom(we are 27) wont allow her to come due to her immune compromised issues. And that she hopes her mom will let her come to my wedding....okay fine i understand especially that shes compromised.
Well she quickly changed the topic and said she is planning on doing a burn the wedding dress photo shoot in September-which is only 1 week after my shower. Im invited and hopes i can come. Shes inviting 10+ girls, already stated she does not want to wear masks. The girl doing her makeup stated she will be freshly back from another state. When someone mentioned about wearing masks, my friend said she recently went to a pure romance party with alot of people and was fine.And reading the group chat im in, i honestly felt upset. She cant come to my shower or probably my wedding because of "her mom"...but shes gone to parties and will have a photo shoot with multiple people and is okay with someone doing her makeup that will be fresh from traveling.I just find it all like a double standard.
Do i have the right to ge upset? Do i reach out and ask her or confront her about it?
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24 Comments

  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    No masks at her trash the dress party?? I wouldn't want someone so careless about covid anywhere near me, much less at my bridal shower.


    I get that she's still hurting from the divorce, and she's actually in the wedding party for this other friend, but she's feeding you obviously fake excuses. You'd think a true friend would be more transparent.
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Wow, that sucks. I'm of an age now where I no longer put up with this behavior from people who say they are my friends. I'd casually ask her how having a burn the dress party is different than your shower / wedding. Maybe she's short on cash and using that as a reason why she can't make it because she doesn't have the money to purchase a gift? IDK, but I know that I'd definitely ask. If she's truly your friend, the truth will come out.

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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    This is utter nonsense. If she can be IN a wedding for someone else, then it is not 'too painful' for her to show enthusiasm for your wedding as a guest, and she clearly is not concerned about covid to the point where she can't attend your event. I would point blank ask her what her deal is. It might end the friendship but I wouldn't really care.

    Also maybe this is just me, but I find her entire 'trash the dress photoshoot' event to be in poor taste. Does she expect y'all to be in these photos or just watch? She is paying to have her hair and makeup done so she can destroy a perfectly good wedding dress because she's bitter about her divorce? To me that's childish. I would be heartbroken if my relationship fell apart but I can't imagine destroying my beautiful dress that brought me so much joy when I saw it for the first time. She could sell it, she could donate it to another bride, she could donate it to be made into gowns for stillborn babies. Instead she's destroying it and wants to have professional photos taken to commemorate her anger?! To put where, on her mantle?

    I think you're better off without this girl.

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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    Thank you! Im confused why everyone is saying its fine for her to go to that wedding because shes in it, but attend mine because shes only a guest. She is fine with wedding stuff point blank.


    As for the shoot, i agree i think its tacky.She is going to wear lingerie and wants everyone to wear short dressed and be in the photos.So the day will be about her. Which is fine.But she cant attend my event that will be about me for one day....but im supposed to attend hers just because shes getting divorced.I also agree i want to talk to her about it. But know the friendship will be ended im sure
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