Don't need 'stuff' for wedding gifts.

Something about the poem doesn't sit well with me, but I honestly can't pin point what. I'm attending a wedding next month and this note was listed under the "Registry" section of their Wedding Website. I thought it was cute and tasteful!

"We have accumulated many things over the course of our relationship and our individual lives. We are incredibly thankful for the home that we share, and have the majority of the items that we need for day-to-day life.

We ask if you choose to give a gift, in place of a gift from a store, please support us by offering a gift we can put towards remodeling our cozy but outdated kitchen. It’s the last item on our list that we both hope to check off some day but haven’t been able to yet.

We’ve also registered for a few things at Target and Etsy. We could always use more art and pieces to help us entertain our friends and family!"

FH and i are in a similar situation , we have lived together for a little bit and we would of course love all cash instead of gifts but there really is no way to tastefully ask for that.

what we did was just registered at one place and we really dont have a ton of stuff on there. The majority of the gifts we got for my bridal shower and we just arent going to add any more to the registry , we also didnt include any registry info on the invite obviously . I think people kind of kind the message.

Dont get me wrong, you might still end up with some gifts but most people are going to give cash without being prompted

Seriously. No silly poems. Keep your registry to 50 items of less. People will get the hint.

Unless storage is a big problem, you will eventually need to replace "stuff." I want a new convection oven, a backup coffee maker, a MATCHING set of silverware. Wine glasses break, towels get worn out, so while cash is nice, if someone prefers to give a gift, I'm okay with that. I will have at least 100 or so items on my registry with a few wish list things, like a Kitchen Aid Mixer.

And to answer your question, any way you look at it, asking for cash is in bad taste.

I personally don't like it. I don't think you need registry/gift info on invites. It's usually passed through word of mouth. Just don't register anywhere.

FYI, this is going to be a hot topic.

Just do like GameCox said and keep your registry small. You can always return the stuff for cash or a gift card later.

I'm definitely against asking for money. I agree just register for a few things, add the gift card section at the bottom. Theres a couple things that we'd like to have updated or replaced around the house that we registered for. Most people will give a gift receipt so its not like you can't return things you don't need or want.

I think what doesn't sit right is the tone of the poem*.

First you start off with saying "We don't want to offend..." That gives the impression that what you're about to say may be conveyed as offensive. It's like someone saying, "I'm not racist, but..."

Then at the end you say the you "saved your guests all the fuss" makes me feel like your guests were obligated to get you something, but you just made it easier on them. Gee, how thoughtful of you. Your guests shouldn't have to feel obligated to get you anything, let alone cash. The end makes me feel like you're saying "come celebrate with us... but there's a cover charge of a cash gift".

*The poem itself bothers me because one, a cutesy poem seems really superficial. Like you're trying to hide the fact that you're basically holding out your hand for money, but it's a cute poem [bats eyelashes]. And two, the first stanza doesn't rhyme at all.

Note the first line...about not offending?

Even the poem knows it's rude...

If you don't need anything, don't ask for anything. People know that cash is always appreciated but don't ask people outright to fund an unnecessary vacation.

You're panhandling for a trip.

That poem is soooooo tacky. Just awful. Do not do it. Just do a small registry. Everyone knows they can give money as a gift. You don't ask for it.

I think more people will take offense to this than accept it for what it is. if i got this in a wedding invitation i would be soo confused, and probably tell everybody. and trust me, i am in the same boat as you, we literally have everything we want and need and would PREFER cash, but i get it that some people like to actually buy a gift. so we made a registry at target and BBB, each have about 20-40 items on it. if i get something i dont want, ill return it for a gift card to buy something that i may eventually need.

We did a poem kind of like that but I decided to take it down (it was on our wedding website) we just don't have a registry at all. I think even a small registry most won't get the hint they will just think those are the things you want.

The poem is too long to be cute. It's a bit overboard. If I received that in an envelope, I would think it's demanding and I would end up getting you a gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond or something like that.

Almost everyone wants cash. For the most part, that's what you'll get. Are you skipping a bridal shower? Gifts are sort of necessary for that so a small registry is your best bet, and spread the desire for cash by word of mouth.

For the bridal shower and engagement party, we put on the invitations "In Lieu of a gift, please consider a donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in loving memory of Nicole's brother....." The up side... no clutter, and storage wars. The down side... we didn't see the money.

It was something we felt comfortable doing, and since the money was going to a good cause, people we more likely to donate money.

But I agree, asking for money is a little tacky.

We are in the same situation. We did a honeyfund and have a small amazon registry, my shower is Sunday, and so far obky one person bought off Amazon. We had a few people buy off honeyfund. So i have no idea what type of crap we are going to get. We weregiven oone wedding gift, and it was nothing we needed or wanted. There was no gift receipt, but i was able to figure out where it came from, so i got store credit.

That poem is a serious NO. it sounds like you just hijacked it from somewhere, and if I were your guest and read it, I'd first laugh & would be pretty offended. We're in the same situation - we're putting like, maybe 40 items on our list of fun things we wouldn't buy for ourselves, or things that could use updating, and I know they'll get the hint. How were you gonna send it to people, anyways?

"we have it all" sounds really pretentious, but somehow, at the same time rhyming poems sound like a first-grader wrote it.

I loathe anything rhyme-y especially in weddings.

Firstly, you don't put anything, cash OR registry in the invites.

Secondly.... the first stanza doesn't even rhyme and that bothers my lol.

Do as gamecox says. you can always upgrade some stuff... old tupperware etc.

I am in the same situation. FH and I both have a home with everything we could possibly need. We barely have room for our stuff now let alone bringing on anything new. I set up a honeyfund account and it is listed under the registry section on our wedding website. I figure if they don't agree with the alternative registry than they don't have to give us a gift at all and we are okay with that. We don't expect gifts to begin with so no let down there.

I don't think the poem is a good idea at all IMO.