Don't know how to uninvite people :/

Are you changing the whole plan? Date, venue, going to a family-only wedding? If so, I would make up a cute VP postcard and mail it to everyone. One of my friends did that - they planned a big 150-person wedding, sent out STDs, it got to be way too stressful and the budget went out of control so they downsized to a TRULY family only wedding. And I really mean family only - parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, about 15-20 people.

IMO that's really the only good way to go about this. If you're keeping the same plans and just want to take 20 people off the guest list, then sorry, there's no cute wording to get you out of that one.

ETA if you're getting pressured to add people, say no. And if you're just having second thoughts, remember there's a reason you planned this in the first place, you know?

YES! that is exactly what we want. To downsize, to about 30 people. Cause originally we wanted the big, vintage, wedding. But after last night, I was a little stressed, the fiance and I talked a lot about it and decided we'd like a smaller, more... 'memorable' day. To us it just makes sense cause it's more our style. While I LOVE vintage, I'm just a more laid back person and honestly the more I think of the walking down the aisle, leaving, coming back in, sitting down, dancing, cutting the cake, etc. the more boring it seems :/

How would I word it? & also, know any free ways to do this? got my STD's on the comp. didn't spend a dime.

Wow you are in a bind!!! But do what's best for the two of you, krisalicious idea sounds like a good one. My fiance and I never wanted anything big 42 people, fam and close friends that are like fam that's all we are having come Saturday. People are mad fam/friends but we don't care we aren't doing it!!! Mom and Dad are shelling out 3500.00 for the reception for 42 people can't imagine 150 or more, nooo waaayy my parents aren't wealthy they do ok but not wealthy... lol Good luck hun..

Thank you!

Your could write each person a note. Tell them you would have loved for them to join you but for personal reasons to keep it to a very small family wedding. You want them to know they are important to you but due to the change you just won't be able to invite them.

I totally understand and relate. My first wedding was 150 ppl, Sat evening plated dinner June reception with open bar. It was a great wedding but very stressful!!!

This time, I'm having 53 ppl, reception brunch - much more my personality - formal but also laid-back.

MMMM..as far as uninviting ppl, you can't really do that. I agree with Krisa & Jessica in that maybe you can send a note explaining that you are going to keep your ceremony & reception intimate with family only.

I think the only mistake was sending out STD this early for a wedding in May of 2013 (unless it was a spendy destination wedding).

Of course, I am not a fan of STDs anyway.

There is really no cute way out of this. I think you simply have to be honest. We have decided to include close friends and family. Of course, this will tell those, who are not invited, know that you do not consider them a close friend.

I don't mean to be annoying, but uninviting people after you sent out save the dates is horribly rude. If you send someone a save the date, you must invite them to the wedding.

If you must, cut the budget in other areas (cheaper food, etc.), but don't uninvite people you already send save the dates too.

K, @Gabrielle, I can see how you think that would be rude and @Kathy yes it was pretty early. However, I was told to send out the STD's that early by the ladies of WW. now, I'm not blaming that on them but this is obviously my first (and only) wedding, so I don't exactly know how to do it. Yes, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted but since, we've changed our mind and I feel entitled to do so. Yes, I should have maybe waited but up until last night I was 100% set on the first kind of wedding we had originally planned. Things change, I don't feel like I should be "knocked" for that. Not to mention, the ONLY people we invited were family, so I'm positive that no one will have hard feelings. Now, I didn't ask opinions on whether or not to send letters/postcards/etc to cancel, I asked how to. But thanks for the input.

Also @Jessica that's a perfect idea! thank you, that's the answer we will be moving forward with

Ummmm, no, STDs typically go out 6-8 months before a wedding and you can find that information pretty easily in other publications. And with that advice comes the assumption you're asking people to STD for a wedding you plan to carry out. Just take accountability for the fact you've changed your mind, nobody's steered you wrong.

You're going to have to go that route with your correspondence to guests as well. Don't send a personal note to each person, that makes it seem like you're actually uninviting them. In truth, if I understand you correctly, you're canceling the whole thing and starting over, no?

If so, just make up a postcard and send it out to everyone stating something along the lines of while your marriage is on course, due to unforeseen circumstances you've had to scale back your plans and at this point you will be married in a small private ceremony at another date. And you better mean it- keep your guest list to IMMEDIATE family, 25 people or so max, NO EXCEPTION.

After the wedding, it would be a very nice gesture to send marriage announcements to all of those people who received STDs, so they know you at least thought of them at some point in the celebration.

And like I said IMMEDIATE FAMILY ONLY. If you're just knocking 20 people off the guest list and keeping the rest of the wedding the same - same date, same venue, same time, same caterer, just fewer people you're picking and choosing after reality hit- that's incredibly rude behavior and you will certainly offend people.

I just said that nobody steered me wrong. I have 7 months until the wedding and just sent them about.. 3 weeks ago.. ? Which, at that point I was positive that's what I wanted!

& yes, that last idea seems better. I know that I mean this, I'm definitely much more for the smaller wedding! The only people that aren't family that are coming to our wedding is one of my really good friends and her fiance and that's cause we are attending hers as well. Now, postcards? Where do I get them and how much? got my STD's for free, so I'd like to maybe find something very close to that.. lol obviously.

Nope, I posted the other idea in another thread.. if you want to check it out. and marriage announcements? lol, I don't know anything about weddings. Never even been to one.

This would be the new guest list. Mom, dad. My aunt, uncle. My Grandma, grandpa. My Brother, girlfriend. My Sister, boyfriend. My Friend, Fiance. His mom, husband. His dad, girlfriend. His sister, husband. His brother, wife. .. so very much smaller.

Riight, well it kinda sounded like you mailed STDs b/c the ladies of WW told you to. The ladies of WW have nothing to do with the fact that you are changing your mind 3 weeks after being sure enough to send out STDs. And it was my first wedding too, which is why I spent months researching wedding etiquette before I ever even found WW. I love this community, but it's not like the advice you get on the forums comes out of an etiquette bible, people are all over the place. Know your source.

For postcards/letters, I'd check into the same place you got your STDs, or look into VP. And do it pronto. Quite frankly I would spend less time hunting down a bargain and more time getting them out the door immediately, people deserve to know as quickly as possible.

FTR, this is not ideal. But I know you're not going to un-change your mind, and not all situations are perfect, and if you truly keep it low-key and intimate hopefully people won't be as offended as they could be.

A marriage announcement is something you send to people who were not invited to the wedding after it occurs. It's exactly what it sounds like - an announcement that so-and-so got married on such-and-such date. It's just a nice gesture when you have an intimate/immediate family only wedding, I think.

http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-invitations-and-announcements/325-announcing-the-new-you

Those are in the future though, I would work on your cancellation announcements now.