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Savvy October 2020

Done Away With Non supporters

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Mary, on January 1, 2020 at 4:02 AM

We had our family gathering/ icebreaker/engagement party/ Backyard Barbeque to I Do. Family and friends were told NO GIFTS. Out of a wedding party of 22 only 5 showed. The only friend/ family support I had from my end was one of my daughters. Tim's family was outstanding in showing support. I was hurt at first but I'm recovering nicely. We worked hard putting the event together and it turned out perfect. I did however do away with all of my brides maids, matron and Maid of HONOR. Only Tim's daughter will be a bride's maid. He however will continue on to have his 2 bestmen and 6 groomsmen. I'm fine with that and I think it would be rather nice. Everyone knew well in advance. I dont want the excuses now and definitely not later. Or do i want to reason with anyone.my father has passed away and I was planning to ask his brother my Uncle who calls me his favorite niece, to walk me down the aisle. He too didnt show. I thought it was a prank that no one was showing. Excuses were from I forgot, to plain and simple I'm sorry. It's not a tragedy. The wedding will go only HAPPILY...

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Super March 2020
Concetta · on January 3, 2020 at 2:17 PM
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OMG.... my heart hurts for you!!!!! that IS DEVESTATING!! I m sorry you had to experience this! may I ask why not both of your daughters since yours showed up for you?
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Super March 2020
Concetta · on January 3, 2020 at 2:20 PM
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100% true. I sometimes feel like this page can be a tad hectic with the comments. I am glad you are strong enough to do what you and your future hubby want
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Savvy October 2020
Mary · on January 3, 2020 at 3:27 PM
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Concerta, thank you one of the ladies almost bought me to tears with her comment. I pray no one looks at the events as summons. I'm a very nice person. I'm just used to when you agree to do something for someone you do it. One way to test people is give them a small task and wait on response. That event really gave us an idea on what we would probably be facing down the road. It was planned 2months in advance with a date accommodating all. 22 people I dont wanna text 22 people each time their is the same question, change, need or etc. Many topics are on our site and I wanted to let them know all at one time where to look to get their questions or concerns answered. A wedding party of 22 and only 6 show, for me that's a big red flag. I have a busy life also and I have other things that I will be focusing on as the date is moving closer. A WEDDING PARTY HAS TO BE CONSIDERATE AND GIVE A LITTLE ALSO.
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Savvy May 2020
Kara4533 · on January 3, 2020 at 4:11 PM
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I agree totally. Certain events may not be mandatory but I believe the wedding party/immediate family members should do their best to attend. Time and money (no matter how small or large) is spent on planning and to have people no show and no call is unfair and inconsiderate. What happens if the same thing happens at the reception? In terms of the comments, we can disagree without passing judgement. As stated, your experience may not be another's. I am sure that if you planned an event and "key" people did not show or call, you would be upset. Be fair and honest.
Since I announced my engagement and began wedding planning, I have learned a lot about people. A wedding is a special time for a man and woman and only the people who really want to be there should be in the wedding. As you stated, an invitation is one thing but to participate in the ceremony is another. Sometimes, people can't express that they don't want to be in the wedding party (for whatever reason) so you probably relived them. Continue to be happy and focus on getting married.
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