Done Away With Non supporters

Oh no! Sorry you had to deal with that. Stay positive and Screw everyone! You don’t need any added stress .

To me that seems a bit harsh. We are all humans and everyone makes mistakes, and if in general they are pretty supportive people I wouldn’t decide something so drastic based on that. But that’s just me.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your opinion. Instead of forming an opinion which is lightly taken. It would have been nice to ask what triggered me to come to a conclusion that SEEMS to be A BIT HARSH. I take it most of us here are planning weddings and some of our journeys arent as delightful as others. I think we can agree that when we do come into discussion we dont look for insults or ridicules about our choices. We are all different from different walks of life. I didnt post looking for a right or wrong. I did what I felt was best for me. I'm a strong believer in that we are shown things whether we choose to believe them or not. The wedding is for myself and my future husband. I didn't say they were uninvited. Of course they are invited. I just dont think that the proven gestures are what I want to continue on with. My decision was not haste or harsh at all. Contrary, I truly think I relieved some people of some duties that they didnt have the courage to do themselves. My Matron of Honor has been a dear friend and confidant for 28 years. Didnt show and called me one week later to say I'm sorry. She had no excuse and couldn't make up one. My spiritual counselor was my Maid of Honor same case. That's why I thought they were doing a joke and that's why at that time it hurts so bad. I recognize people get busy with life and I respect that. I'm honestly glad this happened because for me it was a wake up to evaluate relationships I have and had with people. Yes we are humans. I think clearly and rationally before I make a decision. My wedding party consisted of people that I spoke to at least 5 time out of a week. Frankly since the announcement of the engagement on September 24th everything went cold and I was left wondering what's wrong and what happened. I put those emotions aside called them up told them about the love I had for them and what they meant to me and my life and asked them to accept their designated role. They gladly accepted but things still felt off. As time went on things were becoming more clear. None of the ladies have called to see how can they help or if I needed any at all. As of the party on Dec 7, 2019. The ex Maid of Honor has come onto the site to look around. No phone call to talk girl stuff or just normal things like we used to do. I have a subtitle called Introduction of the Wedding Party, I called each of them for pics as I was building the wedding website, not one lady sent over a picture to be added. After 3 weeks of asking, I just uploaded photos that I retrieved from their Facebook pages. Their is much more. As I referenced prior, The Bestmen, Groomsmen and Tim's Daughter are on task and no problem whatsoever and that's how we plan to proceed. I'm not choosing another group of ladies. I can safely say that the ladies I chose meant more to me and my life than I meant to them.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I dont want any added stress. The only tears I plan on shedding are the tears of joy and happiness on our wedding day.

View Quoted Comment Exactly !!!!!!

That’s terrible. But I understand. I feel that the older I get the less BS I want to deal with. My time is not worth waiting around on a one way relationship. And if they’re constantly flaking then what does that mean about how they perceive me?
You’re doing what’s best for you.

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY Right "HOW DO THEY PERCEIVE ME?"

I am sorry if you felt that they were not there for you and your wedding is important but I hope that ultimately your friendship remains in tact with these ladies since you have known them for years. I hope the rest of your planning goes smoothly.

View Quoted Comment Dont feel sorry for me. I made peace with that. Ultimately, distance makes the heart grow fonder..or not...you can know someone for years and not really know them....

You kicked people out of your wedding because they didn't attend an optional (as all pre-wedding events are optional) pre-wedding party? You're majorly overreacting. It's an invitation, not a summons.

View Quoted Comment TO THOSE OF YOU THAT UNDERSTOOD THE POST AND RECEIVED THE MESSAGE, I APPRECIATE YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO COME TO A PLACE WE ALL USE TO DISCUSS OUR PROCESS
FREELY AND WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR MALICIOUS WILL OR INTENT...BE BLESSED ALL

View Quoted Comment Agree 100%. I cant imagine ruining relationships over an optional party.

Hmm, my bridal also flaked on a few of my pre wedding events. Obvi I should’ve cut them off too, ugh why is it hard to find supportive friends anymore

View Quoted Comment I sincerely know the frustrations. I decided to make a decision early on really so that this wedding wouldnt ruin genuine friendships and to leave room to sauvage any that may have been lost without my knowledge...things were pretty funky and it was making me overextend myself to understand people. I'm praying for you and Peace throughout the rest of your journey.

I asked myself the same question and had to understand that my journey isnt for everyone to be included.

Im totally with you. Cancelling in advance is one thing, no showing is another. For a no show i would perceive that gesture as they simply did not care. They had no regard for your feelings so why go out of your way for theirs. Your day is about you and your fiance and having people around you who simply dont care enough to support something so important to you will only drain you in the end. You made the right call for you. Kudos for putting YOU first.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. It was not an easy decision at all but after calming and thinking about all things that was transpiring, yes it was the best choice for myself and my fiance. It's not fair for him to have to comfort me because of people that he is really just beginning to know. Tho he hasnt and would never say a word, I'm sure deep down he has reservations as well. I dont want that kind of negativity in our marriage. He has wonderful family and friends who have been great and are very supportive and that's what I'm focused on.

That's terrible! Glass half full view is your saving coins with less people and marrying the love of your life.

View Quoted Comment Gm, thank you. I just want to focus on what I know I have and not on things that I dont.

Oh no! I am so very sorry that you had to go through with this. I pray from now on that you have the love and support that you need.