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Christina
Just Said Yes May 2020

Dollar Dance

Christina, on May 9, 2019 at 11:52 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
FI wants to do a dollar dance at the reception. Apparently it is a tradition on his side of the family that his parents, cousins, etc all do at their weddings. I think it's a bit tacky personally and my side of the family has never done one. Is there a way i can delicately tell him no to a dollar dance without insulting his family culture/traditions? I just don't feel comfortable asking our guests for money like that. But i also want it to be his day too and incorporate traditions and things that are important to him.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Amber, on May 10, 2019 at 4:16 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Tell him you'd be glad to compromise and play a song to dance with all of your guests to, but you're not comfortable being paid to spend time with your loved ones.

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  • Alyssa
    Super September 2019
    Alyssa ·
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    I would maybe just tell him how you just told us and then be open to talking about other options. I agree with you, I don't love the idea of a dollar dance and it makes me feel uncomfortable. If my FH wanted one, I would also have a hard time telling him no. I think your best bet is to approach it with the truth and be willing to compromise if he has a suggestion!

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  • Nicole
    Devoted November 2019
    Nicole ·
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    I think it's important to start your marriage with communication, respect, and compromise, and this seems like the perfect opportunity.

    I'd tell him the things you've said here, that it's not something you or your side of the family are really familiar with and that you feel uncomfortable asking them for money (also, no one really carries cash these days). Have a discussion instead of just telling him no. You might find a good compromise, or a way to incorporate his traditions without making you or your family uncomfortable.

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    I'm from Pittsburgh and this is super common and expected at weddings within my family. But, I got married in FL where I live and where my husbands family lives. They have no idea what the dollar dance is and would have been soooo uncomfortable. I told my parents that I would not be doing it because I didn't want half of my guests to see it as tacky and I honestly didn't want to worry about it at all and just have fun with people. So we skipped it, and at the wedding my grandma came up to me and asked when we were doing the dollar dance. I told her we decided not to and she put $5 down the front of my wedding dress, lol. No one else said anything to us about it and the night went on perfectly!

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  • Lola
    Devoted June 2019
    Lola ·
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    I am from Michigan and my FH is from Louisiana, I had never even heard of a dollar dance until I moved down here, but it's like a thing. I 100% am not doing one. FH was fine with it. I would just be honest and tell him how you feel.

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  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K ·
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    I like this idea. I think it takes out the part about if that feels uncomfortable but it still honors their tradition in a way.

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  • Martelle
    Devoted July 2019
    Martelle ·
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    To be honest, its only tacky if your going to make it tacky. A lot of my friends and family have done this at their weddings and I have always had a fun time. It gives everyone an opportunity to go up and talk to the bride and groom for a minute and give their personal congratulations. If you're not going to be into it, then yes, it will come off VERY tacky and forced.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    For me, the main reason is not putting dirty money on my dress. I also think it's weird to ask guests for money at the wedding. Could you just do the dancing with people without money?

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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    I had the same thoughts and my friend recommended having it be a donation to a charity of the couples choice. Announce that at the beginning so people know that their money is going to x charity rather than the bride and groom. Then they can choose to contribute money or not but still be able to dance.

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  • M
    Expert November 2019
    Mrs! ·
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    Girl I’m in the same boat LOL
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  • Amber
    Devoted April 2022
    Amber ·
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    The Dollar Dance is very much a regional and/or cultural preference. I’ve been to weddings with and without them. My friends just did a “Who Takes the Cake?” Game at their reception and it turned into a funny competition. They set out a jars labeled Bride & Groom and a sign that explained the concept: whoever’s jar had the most money in it by the time they cut the cake, got the cake in their face. Something different for guests to do instead of a Dollar Dance.
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