Doesn't feel good enough

I try to focus on the quality of my future marriage and not my future wedding, if that makes sense. Her party might cost more, but that's over in a day and then you guys are on equal ground. Plus, you get to be a guest at that lavish wedding which is awesome!

Do you live somewhere cold? Where I live, an outdoor wedding in October wouldn't make sense, but I live in a cold place. October in most places is still plenty nice! Just shut them out and focus on the opinions of you and FH.

View Quoted Comment We're in Ohio so it's unpredictable, last October that date was hot so we will have to wait and see. I have a back up plan.

I just can't put us in debt starting our marriage struggling. So we're saving for it. We cant afford it then we're not doing it.

Just don't share your wedding plans with anyone.

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I agree - don't share with anyone, this invites feedback and usually criticism. Your wedding will be YOUR wedding - a reflection of you and your groom, not a reflection of anyone else.

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What I was gonna say!

View Quoted Comment This. And when someone does bring it up or ask a question, be vague and change the subject!

People will have opinions through out this entire process. Honestly I think hearing enough opinions, you just stop caring about them. It takes time.

View Quoted Comment I really don't want to care but it makes me question myself

View Quoted Comment I mean I only am with like family. My brother, his wife, and kids are in it so he needs to know.

I also am learned quickly to be careful how much I say.

Just don't tell as many details to people, and don't worry about comparing your wedding to your cousins.

Everyone is going to have opinions, and sometimes people have trouble keeping those opinions to themselves. You just have to learn to let it roll off your shoulder, but I do think it gets easier the further along you get in planning.

I got married outside in October in Ohio last year. The weather was absolutely perfect sunny and about 72 degrees. You just never know in Ohio though.

Early Oct has been warm the last several years. I wouldn’t worry about that. Also, plenty of people only have immediate family/wedding party w their guests for the rehearsal dinner. Just focus on your wedding, not what other people did or are going to do. What’s good for one couple may not work for another.

Remember that it is YOUR wedding. Every single wedding is different- from years, to states, to venue, to budget, etc. You do what you want and can afford and if people don't like it, they don't need to have their own weddings that way.

I went to a friends wedding that was in a campground. The ceremony overlooked a lake, it was gorgeous, but the reception was not my style in the slightest. But it was perfect for them. The husband actually was talking to us and said "We don't like the boring, stuffy, traditional wedding stuff." And I looked at him and said "Well, you're gonna hate ours then..."

Ours can, and will, be considered over the top by some people, and very typical by others. We're breaking away from some tradition, but some aspects will be very traditional. When the husband said that to me, I just sort of laughed it off. Everyone's style is different, so their opinions will come from what THEY like.

At the end of the day, they will be happy for you. Will they like every single aspect of your wedding? No. No one does. But overall, they will have fun and get to see someone they love and care about marry the love of their life, and that's all that will matter in the end

Weddings aren't a competition, and I hate that Four Weddings made it so! (Jk, I actually love that show. It's such a guilty pleasure lol)

My cousin got married in November and it was insane. Black tie optional cocktail hour that could feed a small country, huge floral arrangements. Everyone was like “your next!” and I keep saying “it won’t be like this, keep those expectations low”
Probably not the best response but I was overwhelmed and I know our wedding would be nothing like theirs.
Weddings are not competitions, we need to stop trying to one up each other and just enjoy our day.

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to make constant comparisons. Everyone's relationship, financial situation, and special day are different. Just remember you and your FH are blessed to have each other, and that's what matters most now and years down the road. As for others' opinions, try your best to take them with a grain of salt. Everybody has them, and most people will share them - even if they're not wanted. I would just remind your brother that this is your wedding and these are your decisions. Plus, October is a BEAUTIFUL month to get married and actually one of the most preferred wedding months to begin with.

I don't tell anybody anything. They ask and I say things are going well and don't explain further.

My family and FH's are strong opinions on how things are "supposed to be done." I'm not going to interact with them hoping for a different reaction.

I'm also feeling the pressure of my wedding and how much it's going to be small and blah. It's going to be cheaper than most for sure! But it's probably not a good idea to compare it to anyone else's. You're going to end up with regrets and bad thoughts about aspects of it, and in the end you're going to want to just have fun. If it helps, I'm a psych researcher and the correlation between weddings and divorce is astounding. The more couples spend on their wedding, the more likely a percentage they are to divorce. It's just a correlation but one that I'm not willing to chance!

First, over the top weddings like your cousins aren't always that great or that fun.

Second, I've been to outdoor weddings in the fall, including October, and they were beautiful.

Third, your wedding reflects you and FH. What your brother and cousin did or will do doesn't matter.

I would focus on you and you FH and no one else. This is your day and you can do the way you want

Everyone has opinions... but the only opinions that matter are yours and your fiancé, especially if you’re the ones paying! I’ve gotten used to smiling and nodding at people, telling them we’ll consider their ideas even though I hate what they think we should be doing.
My FH and I went to 7 weddings last year, and it was so hard to see some of them and think wow, our wedding won’t half as good as this because our budget is lower and we are paying almost completely by ourselves. But then I think about it, and our wedding is also completely different from everyone else’s. We’re not having a glam ballroom wedding, so we don’t need to spend as much as other people have and go over the top.
You're right about your rehearsal dinner. Close family and the wedding party with dates is all you actually need to invite! And I am also getting married in October, outside in the woods on top of a mountain. Don’t care what anyone else thinks!