Does Your Spouse Know How Many Sexual Partners You've Had?

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Why below 40?

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I'm surprised. I think you may be one of the first people I've spoken to who didn't share.

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At least the conversation was had and no secrets are still hidden.

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Did you also want his number to be low?

Nope. It's not about our past relations with other people. We know a couple of each because we have a lot of mutual friends and all that but it's just an unnecessary discussion IMO.

Yes- we are high school sweethearts and I was his first girlfriend. My friends who are casually dating ask about numbers for safety reasons regarding sexually transmitted diseases and such.

No, we haven't really talked about it. Our conversation was more like 'how many serious relationships have you been in.' I think for both of us it was about our emotional involvement with previous significant others than the number of sex partners.

View Quoted Comment I agree! A also think he just doesnt want to know and doesnt want to think about it.....I ha e a crazy past whereas he was really straight laced.

View Quoted Comment I can't say for sure but I would have thought hard about getting into a serious relationship with someone with having more than 40 sexual partners in the past. That's quite a high number imo. I would just wonder why so many, were they clean, am I going to run into any of them, is my partner more likely to cheat given the fact they have had that many sex partners in x amount of years.
I am not a jealous person. We have discussed in detail some of the people. Even ran into a few. She gets uncomfortable because she slept with them and I think it's funny.

We talked about it and we had both been tested before we slept together for the first time. Our numbers were actually very close to each other. I don’t think any number would have been “too much”. His past is not his future so even if he slept with 100 women before he met me, that wouldn’t mean he’d be more likely to cheat. My ex-husband cheated and I had been the only girl he slept with before that.

We both have a good idea of each others "number", but we both are in recovery and have some wild pasts, so neither of us went into this expecting to be with someone who can count this on one hand. We love each other, the past is the past, and we are open with each other but this "number" doesn't really matter to either of us. Our life together and future matter.

This was an easy convo for us...we both decided to save sex for marriage and so we'll be each others first on our wedding night.

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It just turned out that way. I wouldn't have really minded if it was more or not. People had lives before us and we can't really fault them for that. It just all depends on how the relationship is now.

We did. We're both just fairly open people and knew before we even dated. We got tested for STIs as part of our yearly physical because we're young and were in college, our primary care doctors were happy we asked actually!
I don't think any number would bother me as I'm not Angel, but I'd certainly be interested in hearing some stories if someone had more than me!

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Thank you for sharing.

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I agree that the conversation is necessary for the same reasons.

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Emotional involvement with other people is also an important aspect to discuss.

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My husband also doesn't want to think about me with anyone other than him.

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I agree that having 40 sexual partners is a high number but factors such as how many partners per year and relationship status would matter to me.

My husband and I have had open and honest conversations surrounding past relationships so that no one can ever hold anything over our heads.

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I don't think that the amount of partners someone has been with is an indicator of whether or not they will cheat but I do think it tells you a lot about their character and potentially their self-esteem.