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Just Said Yes May 2015

Does family or MOH plan the bridal shower?

Elaine and Ryan, on February 17, 2014 at 8:24 AM Posted in Planning 0 6

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I am MOH in my best friends wedding. She has 8 bridesmaids ( including myself) and 5 of them are family members, and she wants me to plan the bridal shower. I thought since most of her bridesmaids are family and her mom told me one of her family friends will be hosting it at her house, that they would be involved. But the bride cleared it up for me that I will be handling everything and gave me the womans number (who is using her home to host) , whom I've never met, and told me to talk to her about it. I am more than willing to plan the bridal shower, I just thought her family would want to be involved. She is my friend from college, so I don't know her family that well. I also have asked her bridesmaids a few times for help and I hardly will get a response. Her sister has expressed that she was mad she was not MOH and I was. I also work full time, and go to school full time working towards my masters degree, and planning my own wedding too. Is this situtation normal?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsIsa, on February 17, 2014 at 11:34 AM

Master October 2014
SupermanBride · on February 17, 2014 at 8:26 AM
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It's whoever wants to take on the chore.

Obviously you need to talk to the bride. You can't just ask someone to host a bridal shower. That's rude as hell IMO

And what is "normal" these days? Obviously your situation is pretty unique.
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Master May 2014
Emily · on February 17, 2014 at 8:34 AM
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The bride shouldn't tell anyone to plan a shower. A shower is something that anyone can host but they must OFFER. No one is required to do it and it is certainly not up to the bride. She sounds demanding and this doesn't seem like a good situation for you.
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Celia Milton · on February 17, 2014 at 8:41 AM
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It's not her call. Usually the showers that I've planned (as a caterer) had several of the BM's MOH and sometimes the MOB/MOG helping out, (but not throwing the party).

You need to talk to the bride, but as Emily said, no one is REQUIRED to host a shower; her bratty sister who wanted to be MOH could certainly step up instead of pouting and pulling out.

Geez, weddings bring the worst out in people sometimes...
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Devoted May 2014
Private User · on February 17, 2014 at 9:15 AM
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My MOH and my two aunts are planning everything. Having it at my MOH's house. They decided the details when we went out to dinner after my dress shopping. That's pretty rude giving you all the stress of planning especially not really knowing the family...best of luck
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Master September 2014
Barbara · on February 17, 2014 at 11:32 AM
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I think the reason she is telling you this is because, traditionally, no one "close to the bride" should be planning the shower-- it is considered bad form for a bride herself or her family to ask for gifts, so generally, the shower would be thrown by a close friend. However, by telling you to throw the shower, she's completely defeating the purpose of having you throw the shower.

I'd ask the other bridesmaids if you can all co-host and share the responsibility.
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Super September 2014
FutureMrsIsa · on February 17, 2014 at 11:34 AM
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Yeah i would say its to each their own, My MOH is planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, but her mom is helping her as well as my FMIL.
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