I’m getting ready to go look for dresses in a few weeks when my mom comes out to visit. I was wondering if I should invite my future mother in law or not? We aren’t very close and she has never met my mom and I don’t know that they’d be able to stand each other or if they share different opinions in dresses I try on. I want her to feel included and don’t want to hurt her feelings by not inviting her but I also don’t want it to be an awkward experience for me if she does go.
Did anyone else invite their mother in law? Or have a similar issue?
I invited my fmil but she declined as she lives oot. I did however have six people including my mom and step mom and while they had differing opinions they all supported me in the end 😊
I had several appointments and my FMIL was at 2 of them. One was just me, FSIL and FMIL (FSIL lives far away so we made just a fun appt when she was home for Christmas) and the other was everyone: mom, stepmom, best friend and her mom, FMIL. Honestly I value my FMIL's opinion more than my own mom. I think because she hasn't known me my entire life, she could see which dresses were "me". My mom just wanted me 100% covered up lol Another reason I brought her was just as a nice gesture, she's only had boys get married and so she's never gotten to br part of that. She cried when I asked if she'd like to go.
All that said, if you don't have that relationship with her I definitely don't think it's required. A big reason why I had multiple appointments was to include everyone, however the appointment I actually purchased my dress at was just my best friend and her sister (the big sister I never had).
Also, my mom and FMIL hadn't met either, so we all met for a light lunch first then went to the appointment and that kind of broke the ice a little bit. Good luck!
I invited my FMIL to both my dress appointment and first fitting (she’ll probably also attend the other fittings) partially because she’s been so involved with the wedding and partially because it’s a nice way for us to bond.
It was an easy decision for me because my mom and she get along well and had met each other many times before. For you, I think it could be a nice way to include your FMIL - and maybe have the mom’s get to know each other - but you definitely have the right to say you’d just like it to be between you and your mom, especially if you think that she will complicate your appointment rather than add to it.
When I told mine i was going she was upset I hadn't asked her. I didn't want to intrude in my moms moment, so i told her she could come to the next appointment, but I wound up getting my dress.
I'm not close with my FMIL so I didn't invite her, but she also lives 2+ hours away. Even if she lived closer I don't think I would have invited her though.
Expert
June 2019
Lauren ·
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I invited mine because I love her and wanted her to be part of the experience. I would never invite someone out of obligation. Only invite who you want for your special moment
Master
October 2017
O ·
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No, I didn't either mother to initial dress appointments. My H went with me to the dress appointments, and then later I invited our siblings and moms to a dress appointment and had dinner after.
Master
October 2017
O ·
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Didn't invite*
Super
March 2019
Bailey ·
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I didn’t invite my FMIL because we aren’t super close (she thinks we are, but we aren’t- she’s done things to FH that made me lose respect for her). I wanted to invite my step-FMIL but didn’t because that would start a massive fight between me and FMIL and I didn’t want to deal with it.
I am not super close with my FMIL, so I did not invite her to go dress shopping. I went with my mom and that was it. It was better for me because she knows me, and I didn't want a lot of different opinions. I did however send pictures to my 2 best friends while we were shopping
I've never understood taking a huge entourage shopping. I didn't have my mother or my fmil with me when I shopped for either of my dresses. If in doubt, I'd leave her out.
I didn't. I suspect she may have wanted to because she was constantly asking if I'd been yet but I only took people who I absolutely wanted there. I needed people who know my style and who wouldn't try push me into something. That was my mum on one trip and my MOH on another. If you're not close I think it will just be stressful
The first time I went it was just me and my MOH just to get a feel for what I was going for then the second time it was my MOH and one of my SIL'S joined us for one of the shops and then the last time I went looking I knew what dress I wanted but invited my FMIL and both of my SIL and my MOH to all see it before I ordered it, I sent my mom pictures because she lives 2+ hours away but she loves it too and was generous enough to pay the deposit to order that day over the phone with the shop. then we all went and got dinner after. If you have a decent relationship with your FMIL I'd say at least invite her to be polite, I'm sure your mom and her will want to meet before the wedding anyway, and can hopefully get along for an afternoon.
That is absolutely up to you and your relationship with your FMIL. If you want her there then absolutely invite her! I invited my FMIL along with my mom, FSIL, and two friends, and we had a blast! The boutique gave us champagne after I said yes and we all got to bond and enjoy our day.