Do you gift the couple when you decline a wedding invitation?

I would send a card with money or a gift card.

It's the polite thing to do! It doesn't have to be a large gift or anything, even a card is appreciated.

Normally yes. Just because I am unable to make the wedding. doesn't mean i'm not just as happy for them as if I were able to attend.

I feel that is up to you do or not. If u decline a gift is generous but not requiref

Thank you ladies. I ask this bc I was so surprised that everyone who has declined has sent us gift or money! They aren't even that close to us, like not a family member but just coworkers, and they don't gift light either, like $100 min. I didn't really need them to do so, I am just surprised all of them did that, so kind of them.

I have started writing thank you notes to those ones...

Of course! I’m surprised the responses to this are not more enthusiastic. I always always give a gift if I’m invited to a wedding, whether or not I attend (although I usually give less if I don’t go). I do think that’s expected.

Yup I always do! I still am just as excited for them even if I can not attend the wedding.

Can I piggyback off of this question and ask when you would send the gift if you can't go to the wedding? Right away when you RSVP no, or closer to their wedding date?

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Sure in my experience, there are about 12 gifts/money we received from ppl who can't make it, 11 of them do the RSVP and gift at the same time ( it's online). One of them sent gift about 2 weeks after the decline. So most of them do send RSVP ( NO) and gift at the same time.

I usually send a check along with my RSVP no. The only time I did not was when we got an invite that was clearly a B list invite (most got their invites in Jan, we got ours in March along with two other couples we know) AND they had a dumb poem about only giving them money included in their invite. No and no, first they weren’t even going to invite us, second theyre only inviting us for the money. Hard pass. Lol i was truly offended.

Yeah I would send a card with a check around when I send the RSVP no.

This doesn't seem to be the norm but I don't always gift if I can't attend. To me it depends on how close i am to the couple that invited me. Close friend / family - always.... Coworkers child or distant friend i haven't seen in a long time, probably not. It just depends.

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I honestly did the same thing you did previously. If I couldn't attend, I didn't send anything. That's why I am surprised!! I now feel that I put people under pressure to gift when I invited them...

Generally yes. I'm still happy they're getting married.

I always do! Gift and card.

It completely depends on my relationship to the couple. A close friend or family member whose wedding I wanted to attend but, was unable to then I would definitely gift something and give a heartfelt card.

Distant relative or coworker, I'd probably send a card of congratulations but, no gift.

For anyone else I'm not sending anything. I was once B-listed to a coworker's daughters wedding (I received the invite 4 days before the wedding). I'd never met the daughter and wasn't particularly close to the mom either. I said no to that one pretty fast and didn't send anything. Mom came around after the wedding with one of the favors and said how much the couple missed me not being there (ha!) and hinted around about a gift. Still didn't gift anything and no regrets.

It depends for me. My basic rule of thumb is, if I want to go, but have a conflict, I’ll send a gift (from the registry). If, however, I’m actively choosing not to go because I don’t want to, I’m prrrooobbbably not going to send anything. This is more typical for me with situations where I am not particularly close with the couple. More than anything, it’s because I forget as I’m not super invested in the event.

When I was invited to my cousins wedding I got the invite solely for the gift. She lives in FL and I live in OH and have seen each other less than 10 times in our lives. I didn't even recognize her the last time she was in OH. So no I did not send her a gift. I would feel differently if it was a genuine invite and I just couldn't go but wanted to.

I always gift even if I'm not going.

I usually do send a gift but there has been exceptions.