Do we really need to send thank you cards?

Thank you cards are necessary for the gifts, I’ve never seen anyone give them out just for attending

I’ve been to plenty other weddings before where I didn’t get one. But now a days there’s other means like a virtual thank you email or virtual card

Thank yous are mandatory. Even just inviting them for coming.
They don't have to match the invites though.

I personally think it is a very outdated tradition. I struggle to see how someone would assume that we weren't happy to have them there and are thankful for their presence and gift (if applicable) because they didn't receive a generic thank you card?

The reception is to thank your guests for coming. Thank you notes should always be sent for gifts. I try to send one a day or two after receiving a gift.

No, it’s not a given that you’re appreciative of the time and money that people will spend on your wedding. Thank you notes are an absolute necessity.

View Quoted Comment

If we end up following this tradition, how soon would we be expected to issue thank you notes? Providing the travel restrictions in our country allow it, we will be leaving for our honeymoon the day after our wedding.

My other query is what about the people who live nearby (i.e. the people who we are hand delivering invitations to), can we just call them to say thank you instead?

For a different perspective from yours, I always expect to receive a handwritten, personal thank you note (not a "generic" thank you). And, honestly, if I found out you sent thank yous to people deemed to have gone "above and beyond," but I didn't get one because, apparently, I didn't go far enough above and beyond to deserve one, my opinion of you would be forever changed for the worse. I've read lots of your posts and I have a very positive impression of you, but, to me, this has the potential to be seen as very rude. Your guests took time out of their lives to come celebrate you and brought you whatever gift they choose (regardless of whether it was deemed "above & beyond"), was that a waste of their time and resources? A heartfelt thank you note can literally be written in 3-5 minutes; I would think that amount of time and the cost of postage would be well worth it to many of your guests.

If I'm remembering correctly, you're in Australia? So, maybe it's a cultural difference (my sister and her family have lived there for over 40 yrs, and her kids are terrible about thank you notes...). But from this American's perspective, thank you notes, especially for wedding gifts, are non-negotiable. If it's too much trouble to write them, I may find it too much trouble to continue to send you and your family gifts in the future. Sorry....

View Quoted Comment

Don't be sorry, I am appreciative of the honesty. Even if I'm stern on an opinion I think it is always important to listen to feedback, and most of the time I will act on it. I am starting to see anyway that even if it is something that won't be kept by guests etc, it is something we will have to do. I would definitely not want someone to think ill of us in any way and if a small token is instrumental, it looks like the way we will need to go.

I am a big fan of handwritten notes but unfortunately I have tendon issues with my writing hand and I can barely write basic notes for work let alone 80-90 letters. My FH's handwriting is awful so that is out of the question. If we did generic cards, I would be personalising them (we have our own monogrammed wax seals and we would be addressing them to the recipients - where I do issue correspondence, I like all the bells and whistles).

Thank you for your input

View Quoted Comment

Good for you! I've gotten the impression from some of your recent posts related to your venue, menu, etc., that yours is likely a "higher end" wedding. Good manners always apply regardless of the circumstances, but I'd guess especially for the guests in yours and your families' social circles thank you notes will be important. Perhaps you can type short personal notes, if handwriting isn't possible. As a recipient, I love getting a note that was clearly written to me/my family, specifically thanking us for our gift/support/attendance/etc. I saw your earlier post about the timing of sending thank you notes, especially if you'll be traveling immediately after the wedding. As soon as possible is always best, but I'm sure guests will understand if you don't get started until after your honeymoon. As another poster mentioned, you can do a couple a night (and FH should be responsible for a good share of them as well -- he can type, too) and they'll be done in no time. Good luck!

No later than a month after the wedding is when they should be sent out. It's appreciated to receive a card in the mail regardless of your location.

View Quoted Comment

Yes it definitely will be, we are pulling all the stops so on second thought I can understand how thank you notes are particularly important in the context. Well, at least I've learnt my lesson quickly I guess!

I am thinking perhaps we will start writing out thank yous on correspondence cards (I would much prefer to hand write notes than type them [unless it's a generic 'send to all' type card]). Admittedly I would need to start now a few months out because of my hand, if we were to hand write them.

Perhaps we will just arrange to have them completed prior to the wedding (our RSVPs are due about 5 weeks before the wedding) and just give them to a relative ready to go to post out after the wedding.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I think this case is closed

Last year I sent out 4 different wedding gifts to 4 couples and I only received 1 thank you card so I had to reach out to make sure the others even received their gifts. I, as a guest, do not appreciate having to follow up and feel as though a thank you card is the least you can do to let your guests know you appreciate the gifts you received. Even just acknowledging your guest company and attendance would be polite. I flew from California to Seattle for my cousins wedding and didn’t get a thank you card for spending the weekend there or the gift that I bought them. I was very hurt.

Depends on culture I guess. Asians culture doesn’t do that so we aren’t lol.

I would find it rude to not receive a thank you card. I'm not very big on traditions, but some are tied in with etiquette. This is one of those. As others have said, it is very culture dependant. Sending a thank you card is very important in my family. People deserve to know that their time, money, and effort is valued. A call is acceptable for a birthday gift, but weddings are much bigger, more formal events. The method of delivery should reflect that. Cards should be sent within three months of the wedding, but sooner is better than later. A thank you note also lets the person know that you noticed their presence and received their gift. This is especially important if they had a gift mailed to your home. It lets them know it was delivered correctly. You won't get much time to spend with each guest on the day of your wedding, so letting them know that your appreciated their attendance can mean a lot!

Seriously? Of course you need to send thank you cards. I don’t know anyone that didn’t hand write their thank you notes. Stay organized and it’s not that difficult.
I wrote something personal in each note and probably wrote about 60? I had them done in less than 2 weeks. You’ve got a month to get them done etiquette wise. I wouldn’t even consider skipping it, your only reason would be because you don’t want to put in the effort.
Expect a lot of people to be upset/annoyed if you don’t send thank yous

View Quoted Comment

As I said earlier, I thought it was something that was redundant today, which I've come to learn is not the case.

I've got difficulties in holding a pen for very long but we will look to start them really early to get them all done!

A couple years ago we couldn’t go to a friend’s wedding but sent a very nice , thoughtful gift from their registry. Never got a thank you card and I *still* feel weird about it. Did they not get the gift? Did they get it but are mad we couldn’t come to the wedding? Were they just rude ? Did other people get thank yous ? Are we the only ones ? We don’t see them very often any more because they moved out of state but when they’re in town I always feel a little awkward around them now because I kind of took it personally whether they meant it that way or not :o

View Quoted Comment My husband and I each took a stack and we’d just do a few a night for a week or so. I was pleasantly surprised how quickly it went doing it that way. We gave ourselves a time limit so as to not get burnt out in one sitting (like, do a few , hard stop at 6:30 so we can enjoy the rest of the evening). It was also really nice dividing the labor with him!

I will say of course.