Do we have to have a rehearsal dinner?

I'm not having one

You can get by without a rehearsal dinner, but they've come to be expected. A good way to cut costs would be to host at your home and have BBQ or Italian brought in from a caterer/restaurant - that's usually an inexpensive option. You can certainly host at a restaurant (most RD's are, in my experience), but it is expected that you'll cover all costs of the meal and drinks for those in attendance. My FIL's are hosting at a BBQ restaurant. They have a huge banquet room that you can use free when you're purchasing all the food/in house catering through them. I don't think it was terribly pricey. Maybe $15 a person for a huge buffet.

If you can't work it into your budget to host some sort of rehearsal dinner, then just don't have a rehearsal. If you do have a rehearsal, then yes you need to host a dinner. It does NOT have to be super fancy or expensive, but you do need to provide something to thank them for attending the rehearsal that you required them to be at. Pizza and beer is a fun, inexpensive and casual idea! We hosted ours at a brick oven pizza place...we weren't charged anything for the room that we reserved and got away with providing yummy pizza, beer and wine for 26 guests for less than $500.

You definitely don't need to have a rehearsal dinner. However, if you all go out to eat after the rehearsal, that might be perceived and a "rehearsal dinner," therefore a wedding event that is typically covered money-wise. If you do that, just make sure it's clear that everyone is paying for their own.

1. many, many people are paying for their own wedding.

2. if you have a rehearsal, you have to HOST a rehearsal dinner, however simple

3. Most people don't need a rehearsal.

You can do whatever you are comfortable with/can afford. And I would say eating at a nice restaurant is technically rehearsal 'dinner' Its a nice way to spend time with your close family/friends before the wedding, but you aren't obligated to.

We're doing pizza and beer!

^Amanda did that for my first wedding lol

If you go out to eat that would be a RD. Are you saying go out to eat and everyone pay for themselves? If so don't do that, just don't have one. RD don't have to be fancy. My dad got married to my stepmom in 2002 my grandma hosted the RD she made two big pans of chicken tetrazzini, a huge bowl of salad, and had fresh sweet tea. It was at her house. Food was great (as always). I remember having to help her grate cheese & chop vegetables LOL. I always went to the store with her she fed about 25 people with $125. In today's prices probably $150. Make something simple you can pop in the oven, with a salad and call it a day. Some people even order pizza.

We are having a welcome party at the hotel and bringing in italian for $10pp

If you have a rehearsal, it is proper to have a rehearsal dinner. Your wedding party is taking time out of their week for your rehearsal and the dinner is a thank you to them. If by saying "Or if we could just go all eat out at a really nice restaurant" you mean you are paying for everyone to eat at the restaurant, then that is your rehearsal dinner. It is rude to ask them to pay for their dinner at the '"really nice restaurant". We need some clarification from you ...

We're having ours at a taco truck that we saw on Diners Drive-ins and Dives. Everyone is on board, pretty excited, and it won't break the bank!

We are doing a rehearsal in the early afternoon and then having people at the vineyard restaurant for appetizers and wine as a little mid-afternoon get together. We wanted to do something for everyone as a thank you for travelling out to our wedding and helping us out these last two years. We are just keeping it pretty small and casual. Rehearsals and dinners are not mandatory by any means so if you don't want to do one don't feel pressured in having one.

We'll probably just do pizza, beer, and board games at our place! There's no need to do anything outside your means. Hell, I've gone to an RD at a Waffle House!

We are just doing pizza, beer, and bowling after our rehearsal. It's going to be very laid back and we get the bowling alley for free so we're just paying for drinks/pizza for about 30 people. =)

What PP said - if you have a rehearsal, you have to host a rehearsal dinner. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. You can order pizza or something and host it at home.

We're going to do something for a small group at our fave Tex Mex place (inexpensively) then invite OOTers to join us at a local bar to hang out and catch up for a few hours. We'd love to have a bigger dinner cheaply at our place but 1) we don't live near the hotel or anything fun to do, and for our OOT guests organizing carpooling to/from our place would be pretty tough. 2) the last thing we want to do the night before the wedding is clean up from a big dinner.

We're not having a rehearsal, therefore no need for a rehearsal dinner!

I don't see anything wrong with having a rehearsal dinner at a restaurant and having everyone pay for their own meal. I had a friend who did this and I wasn't bothered by it nor was anyone else. Do what YOU want.

I have a friend who didn't do a dinner...her and her hubby to be went out for dinner the night before...said whoever wants to can join us...but it's pay for yourself. There was about 15 of us total very laid back no expectations