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Savvy August 2019

Do we have to allow toasts at wedding?

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Ann, on August 11, 2019 at 11:38 PM

FH and I are paying for 80-90% of our wedding, so in our eyes we are hosting. We plan to give a quick welcome/thank you toast, but that is it. My dad wants to give a small toast too. FH doesn't like this because he doesn't want his family to give a toast, and he feels that if his mom hears that my dad is doing a toast, then she will want to do one. Is there etiquette on who toasts at the reception? Can we prevent people from doing toasts?

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23 Comments

Super September 2019
Kim · on August 12, 2019 at 10:33 PM
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Nope, not at all. Our families are not really the public speaking type anyway so no problem.
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Lady · on August 13, 2019 at 1:32 PM
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I would compromise and let them both give toasts at the rehearsal dinner. That way no one feels left out, but it's not as big a deal if they ramble a little (smaller group, more casual event....)
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on August 13, 2019 at 5:17 PM
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I would let your dad give a short toast and if FH's mom is upset, oh well. Perhaps the DJ could tell her there is a planned list? I feel for ya as I did NOT want my sister to speak. I love but she would have gone on and ON over our deceased mother - and I wanted zero talk of dead people at our wedding.
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