Do we have to allow toasts at wedding?

You are more than welcome to disregard toasts. The ceremony timeline is completely up to you and your FH.

Just be sure to specify with your dj or who ever is in charge of essentially "MCing" your night that you only want certain people/no one else to make toasts, so they can keep control of it for you

You don’t have to allow others to give speeches.

Traditionally, at least one if not more of the FOG, FOB, Best Man. Sometimes all of the above. MOH, a mother, grandparent or godparent , are also common. It is usually best to give up and let them, especially if they are even partly paying. The key is to get them to limit their speech to 2 minutes or less, each. And warn guests, multiple hosts, a sip apiece. That actually hurries some people giving toasts, to tell them, remember, people had one sip. And they want more, fast. Make it short, a toast not a speech.

We did no toasts during the wedding reception. (Instead, we opted to allow them during the more casual welcome dinner the night before.) Just let your coordinator and MC know in advance.

Only my husband's dad did one and it was on behalf of both sets of parents

We are only having the MOH and BM do toasts. That is it, no family involved.

View Quoted Comment The issue is that FH says his MOH will not limit her speech and may very well pass the microphone off to someone else. (Not sure how the DJ would manage that one) He has concerns about her respecting our time limits and wishes to limit the number of toasts.

Part of me feels bad for my dad because I think he really wants to do one, and I hate to limit toasts for everyone because we think a select few may get "out of control". At the same time, I honestly don't like toasts and speeches at weddings, so my personal preference is to cut them out. I'm torn because I feel like he sees it as us taking something away from him but at the same time I really don't like them. And I've compromised on or accommodated on a lot of major aspects for our parents - reception venue, size of wedding, having a church wedding, etc.

I guess I am just tired of it feeling like there is always someone who is offended or hurt by our wedding decisions. I'm tired of accommodating everyone! Lol

View Quoted Comment Have any of your family members expressed disappointment at this or tried to challenge you on your decision?

View Quoted Comment It is hardest to say no when it is something people have always expected will happen. As with your Dad. It is your wedding. But in the past I have seen people who wanted to speak who were told no, simply stand up, call everyone's attention, and speak. My sister's MIL was insisting, and ran on and on at her 2 previous son's weddings. It is hard, as she drinks more than she should. Though not drunk, she was mouthy trying to grab the mic. Her husband finally said, M,. The answer is no. And she walked out. For 5 minutes, and returned quiet. You are within your rights to designate just your Dad, or some 2 speakers, and have FI tell her, NO. And to ask Dad or whoever to keep it very brief. It is a hard choice.

Nope. Toasts aren’t necessary. Many guests would prefer “no roasts” anyway.

Lol. “No TOASTS.” Oh, Siri. 🤪

View Quoted Comment Are you having a rehearsal dinner? Maybe your father can give his toast there. This might make him happy and allow you to keep a "no toast" rule at your wedding.

We are giving our DOC & our DJ our day of timeline so they will be announcing certain aspects of the day, so they will be announcing ours. We have decided that No one will be giving toasts other than one we make.

Traditional toasters are: Father of the Bride, Best Man, and Maid of Honor. Sometimes the Bride & Groom give one as well to say welcome or thank you. It is your wedding though, so you can pick and choose who you want to or don't want to give a toast.

I have only been to one wedding where a parent made a toast and it was super weird. I would say know your crowd. In our circle it’s always just been MOH & BM. If your parents want to do a toast, have them do it at the rehearsal dinner. You also don’t need to have any at all. Just make sure the traditional speakers know as they may already be preparing stuff.

We wanted no microphone at our wedding! Surefire way to not have toasts haha

but honestly, you should verify with your DJ and DOC with who is going to give speeches. And the microphone is to be given to those individuals.

((Keep in mind. My MIL decided without a microphone and with us saying there were no speeches that she was going to give a speech anyway. Oh well))

Somewhat different situation because we paid for about 80% of the wedding -- and daughter and SIL very much wanted him to speak -- but FOB gave a short "welcome" on behalf of all four parents, not specifically a "toast." Daughter asked him to keep it short and focused on thanking people for attending. He did a great job -- it was both funny and sweet. Also, the DJ had whoever was speaking (MOHs and BM also gave short toasts) come to him for the microphone, and although he didn't need to, he could have cut the mic and/or played music if necessary. A good DJ should be very helpful in maintaining control of the focus and sound at the reception. But, no one HAS to give a toast if you don't want them to.

My dad will give the welcome/thank you toast because I have never really seen the bride or groom do that at the wedding (a rehearsal dinner yes I have seen this). But just because my dad is doesn't mean FH's side has to. You only need one welcome/thank you toast. If you and your FH are choosing to do so then that should be fine!

If you are having a rehearsal dinner let your dad speak there if not stand your ground no speeches