Do they get a thank you note?!

I'm personally not sending thank yous to people for only attending. I considered the reception the thank you for their attendance, the notes are for any gifts that they brought to the wedding.

No, I wouldn't. I think the reception is their thank you for attending and thank you notes are for gifts.

I did not send thank you notes to those that did not give gifts. It tended to be a certain group of friends (DH's college friends) that did not give gifts--we have just verbally told them how happy we were to have them at the wedding to celebrate with us as we have seen them post wedding. Because it was a bunch of dudes who I knew wouldn't care about a thank you note at all- I didn't bother,...

I'm not sending thank you notes to people who did not bring gifts. During the reception we went around and thanked everyone for coming personally, I don't think we should have to send them another card saying the same thing.

Thanks guys this is helping!

EDIT: We did go around to every table and thank people and make a quick thank you speech.

@Alyssachu, YES! Even a $20 token.

No. The reception is actually the thank you for attending the ceremony. You only write a thank you for gifts.

I'm not sending thank you cards to anyone that didn't send a gift. The reception was the thank you, and I made sure to greet all of my guests and thank them for coming.

@Alyssa, totally agree with you. I would never show up empty-handed even when I was a broke college student, so I can't fathom why others would do that. Even a simple card with warm wishes is better than nothing.

Yea I would tend to agree! I would never ever come empty handed to a wedding, but I know people have varying situations.

Seems I am in the minority, but I think everyone who attended and/or gave a gift should receive a Thank You note. We had a couple very close friends (including Best Man) who were reluctant to attend because they were out of work and didn't want to show up empty handed, couldn't afford the travel, hotel, etc. We made it work and were so happy to have them there.

I don't think its passive aggressive if you write the note with genuine affection and gratitude, as every Thank You note should be anyway.

We are sending thank you notes to all of our guests - but 99% are from OOT

I wouldn't send one. Providing them with food, alcohol and a good time is Thank You enough.

I don't view the reception as a their thank you at all. They are participating in my party. I personally don't like ceremonies or wedding receptions and I don't consider attending one as someone thanking me. The whole thing is quite torturous for me to attend as a whole. I would write them a thank you note.

ETA-most people think providing food, dancing and alcohol has provided them with a good time. Sometimes not so much. Not everyone drinks, dances or enjoyed the food. When in doubt-send a thank you.

Ok thanks guys! I think I will go with no thank you notes for now (pending possibly sending if they send gifts). I never know what to do!

I would send a thank you note ... but it would be my passive aggressive way of saying "i know you didn't bring a gift" --- not saying I expect a gift... but at least bring a card... jeesh ---

@LibraryBelle I love it

I wouldn't.

I agree with PPs who say the reception is your thank you and sending a thank you note might come across as passive aggressive. Also, they didn't travel, got free food and drink from you, and didn't even give a gift or a card... you aren't the one who needs to be putting in more effort or worrying about etiquette.

@lyla thank you! You make a good point!!!

I would say no generally as the reception is the thank you. The exception would be if you knew it was quite costly and/or some other hardship for them to come. I.e. they flew in from out of town on their birthday while unemployed or whatever.

@Alyssachu broke law students who brought gifts anyway unite! (I've just recently graduated)