Do my friends hate me or they just like this?

My bridesmaids are one of my closest friends. I knew they were always "busy" that if they have an exam in three weeks, they won't even meet up for my birthday so I always shrugged it off despite it did hurt me a little. Now that I'm getting married, I wasn't really expecting them to be any different. But after a few events, I'm not sure if I'm being petty or if they're maybe not good friends for me.


My partner threw a surprise engagement party for me and none of my friends showed up because they were all busy. Two had valid excuses. The other two was because it would inconvenient them very slightly so they decided not to show up. This did upset me and I cried quite a lot mostly because from past events that my other friend who lives interstate was pointing out they were bad friends who were not there for me, could not do anything to help or even inconvenient themselves a bit. They made picking out the dress very frustrating and they were shocked why I was getting annoyed at them about how they were demanding a dress colour but I said I couldn't tell until I picked out my dress first (I was not going to wear white). They said they thought they were making it easier for me but I honestly cannot understand their logic behind this because it limited my choices.
But after the engagement party, after hearing how none of them were even helping out to make a single phone call to a vendor, or ghost the MoH each time my MoH would talk to them about the wedding, I was absolutely devastated when they didn't show up because I kept defending them saying they'll be there when it mattered.
I raised it to one of the friends saying I was really sad by it and whilst I didn't blame them cause I knew they were busy, I was just really devastated to see none of my friends there. But she essentially turned it around saying it's not fair of me to be sad, and that she got distant from me after the first encounter saying it's not right for me to get annoyed and frustrated even if things get stressful.
I spoke to the MoH and she told me to ignore it that they probably just too young and have different priorities than to try be there for friends when they need to. Like people I'm not even close to was more eager to help out. So I stopped trying to care but I was feeling off about them because I kept hearing they were being super difficult in the bridesmaid group, in that if they couldn't do a particular joke they refused to do the whole thing. I think they may have gotten jealous about how excited I was when my bestie from NY surprised me when she came earlier than she said she would, and my bestie was telling me that during the event to the ceremony, they were being very petty.
Like one time, she raised the topic of dispute about the joke, and they all stood up simultaneously and walked out while she was talking. Apparently they were criticising the gifts the groom got me, and even were being rude to the other bridesmaid (I knew they hated her but invited her as a bridesmaid because she was a close family friend).
At the ceremony, they were having fun amongst themselves and I barely ever saw them which I'm glad they were having fun but they were shunning my bestie the whole time. Even apparently shoved her aside once. But near the end, when I was saying goodbye to everyone, my cousin overheard them saying to each other whether I wanted to say goodbye to them as well. One of their mums told them to say goodbye so they approached me and said goodbye.
While one is now helping me with the dances for the main events in June, she was telling the girls in the group chat how she might not be able to do it cause of a dress her mum got her. The girls were telling her that she shouldn't feel compelled to dance and should respect her mum (which is fine) but was completely being rude on the fact there was going to be a dance saying no one would even be watching the dance, and no one will care, that people will be bored of it etc. I know they were trying to make her feel better but don't think they realised they were saying my vision for my wedding was going to be trash. I was shocked when I read that and called them out on it essentially saying that it was hard to read this and that it was my choice to make.
They all never responded to it. I told one of the girls and she said she didn't get why I was offended. And when I explained it, she was telling me that they were doing it to make her feel better about not dancing and that it's their opinion and I should respect their opinion. I disagreed saying it was criticisms and was quite offensive especially since they're my friends and I thought they'd be supportive of what I wanted for my wedding, but she told me not to care about what they think and they can say what they want.
I absolutely gave up on them after that. Any time I raise any wedding topic, like asking their opinions about a make up look etc, they ghost me. But sometimes they talk to me normally when it comes to any other convo. Sometimes they make jokes that I'm not part of the singles group now and that I've been shunned but it feels like it's kinda truly how they feel.
I keep overthinking about it that they're annoyed at me with how stressed I've been and I called them out when they were rude to other people, etc. I definitely need help for this wedding but I'm too scared to even ask for their help because they always just ghost me and I just feel worse. I've been trying to mend the relationship by asking them about their lives etc and trying to be there for them even though I'm stressed with my MiL and the wedding but I can't even go to them and rant about it anymore like I would've been able to because every time I have raised that I'm upset about something with them, they just completely make my feelings feel invalidated. I feel so lost and empty that I feel like I don't have my close friends anymore and I have no clue what to do anymore.
For context of wedding events:Engagement in MayCeremony in NovemberReception in June (It's an Indian wedding)