Do i need a Moh?

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No, not having a MOH definitely did not make my planning harder. I planned my wedding myself, which was my preference. I also did not have a bachelorette party. It all went very well and was stress-free.

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Of course you can invite your friends to get together for a night/afternoon out at anytime. That is completely normal behavior for friends! Definitely don't stop doing things with your friends just because you are getting married.

Where bachelorette parties get complicated and hurt friendships is when brides plan big, expensive parties/vacations and expect/demand their friends pay for it. As long as you don't do that, you are fine.

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That's not my style at all, so not an issue for me.

If money wasn't an issue, would you ask your sister to be your MOH? Her own dress/shoes/accessories really are the only cost that will fall directly and only on her. While it is great to keep the budget in mind, remember that parties like the bridal shower and bachelorette are planned by several people, and typically several contribute financially. For my bachelorette, I bought my own plane ticket + my portion of the house and found it very generous that the other ladies paid for my drinks and booked a yoga class for us (split 7 ways), which was all agreed on when they had a budget discussion while planning. My shower was very laid back and likely only cost $50 for food and decorations (split 2 ways), and I loved every minute!

If you truly don't want to choose one of your friends over the other, you absolutely don't have to - I also did NOT have a MOH after my sister could no longer be in the wedding and I didn't replace the position. I did ask another bridesmaid to say a toast (this could be your sister?) and the bridesmaid who was closest to me during the ceremony held my bouquet, fixed my train, etc. Call up any of your ladies and I'm sure they'd be more than excited to help you with planning

View Quoted Comment I think since everyone in the wedding party is out of state i might plan a ladies night . i know my FH cousin and the best mans wife were talking about doing something.

View Quoted Comment I heard that before whats the difference between maid and matorn of honor

View Quoted Comment Ill probably plan maybe a trip to the city. Or something.

View Quoted Comment She isnt really my sister just a friend i consider to be a sister. I wasnt going to ask her to be a bridesmaid because of money issues. But she kinda asked her self

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A maid is not married and a matron is.

The only real requirement of a MOH (beyond that of the rest of your bridesmaids) is to be organized, because typically the MOH will take the lead on traditional bridesmaids activities, like planning your bridal shower and bachelorette, so having an organized person that is a good communicator is helpful in rounding up and coordinating the efforts of your other bridesmaids. However, you can designate different roles for each bridesmaid without any of them being the MOH, so if you don't have someone who you definitely want to have that special title, then I see no reason why you can't just have four bridesmaids each with different strengths and contributions.

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Kind of off topic question, but have you ever heard the term bridesmatron (for a married bridesgal who isn't the MOH) or is the maid/matron distinction specifically reserved for the MOH?

View Quoted Comment I like the way you said thar and im still thinking about it . i never heard the distinction but i have 2 girls who are married .

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I feel like I have? Technically, all of my bridesmaids/MOH were married when I got married, so they were all matrons! But it was such a small party that I barely differentiated (my sister was the MOH, but my 2 best friends from middle/high school were my other bridesmaids so it was all one in the same pretty much).

I have three bridesmaids and purposefully didn't choose a maid of honor. First and foremost, they're all married, so they'd all be Matrons anyway. But I value all three of them very equally, and love and respect them all. I absolutely couldn't choose one of them to be a MOH. I told them all that at the beginning, and they've all taken on different roles of helping or planning, when they have time. They're all equally like sisters to me, and they were all jazzed to be part of the wedding. They completely understood about not being a MOH and nobody was butt hurt about it.

Your bachelorette can honestly be planned by anywone who is so inclined. I'm planning my own, with input from the ladies, because they're helping to pay for it, but I didn't want to do a huge thing. And as for your bridal shower, that could be planned by a friend, coworker, mother, sister, etc. Anyone can throw you a bridal shower as long as it isn't you throwing it.

If you feel bad picking someone to be MOH, don't put yourself through the grief. Just explain they're all equal and they should understand.