Do i need a Moh?

You don't need to have a maid of honor if you don't want to. Also, I may have misread your post, but it sounds like you want 1 of them to be your maid of honor but cost is a concern. The MOH doesn't have any different of a financial obligation than the rest of the bridesmaids.

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I agree with all of this.

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I meant I wasn't going to ask her to be my bridesmaid because of money issues. but that's a different issue all in its self.

I don't think you need to choose one. Honestly I had two and three other bridal party members and in the end I don't feel like I really had any differentiation between any of them despite the titles

View Quoted Comment Oh ok. I misunderstood. I thought she was already 1 of your 4 bridesmaids and you didn't want to ask her to be MOH because of money issues.

You don’t have to have a maid of honor.

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You guys don't think it will make planning harder? if you guys had no MoH would you plan your own bachelorette party?

View Quoted Comment You Can do it that way or you can ask if all four want to plan one together. MOH typically does have more responsibilities: they plan the bachelorette party, sometimes plan your shower, they are the ones to make a speech at the reception, and they’re the ones you go to for help when you’re stressed out

View Quoted Comment Anyone other than the bride can plan pre-wedding events. I did have a MOH, but my bridal party (4 women total) planned my bachelorette and bridal shower collectively.


Planning is done by you and your future spouse. The only thing I invoked my bridal party in was their clothing. And they came dress shopping with me as well. I bounced some ideas off of my MOH and another bridesmaid who is married, but that was really it. It was more about social support than planning help, really.

Okay so this may sound stupid what's the difference between a bridal shower and bachelorette party.

When I had a MOH, she didn't really help me with any of the planning. Now that she has since dropped out of the wedding, I still have my 4 bridesmaids and the wedding planning is the same! It didn't make it easier or harder! I will say my bridesmaids have helped me on making small decision, but really the person I went to (when I was able to) about major wedding planning was my fiancé.

As far as the pre-wedding events (bridal shower/ bachelorette party), all of my bridesmaids are planning and hosting them as a group!

View Quoted Comment Bridal shower is typically a brunch type affair where the bride gets “showered” with love and typically gifts. This is usually set up by bridal party, MOH, or one of the mom’s (yours or your SO’s). Bridal shower has female friends and family and you play games like trivia on who knows the bride better and such. This is typically when you will receive most of your gifts from your registry.


A bachelorette is female friends, either only bridal party or anyone you want (I’ve gone to some where it’s just bridal party and some where it’s 30+ people) this is typically your last hoorah as a single lady- it can be going as simple as going to a vineyard, luxurious like a spa weekend, or it can be as deboucherous as stripteases in Vegas depending on your style. Bach parties are what you See more of in movies while bridal showers are more like a baby shower. Hope this helped

A bridal shower is a gift giving event: usually a lunch/brunch time affair where close female friends and relatives (although couple showers are becoming increasingly popular) come together to play games and eat and watch you open the presents they give you (the bride is "showered" with gifts). The bachelorette party is usually smaller and can either be a night out or a longer trip (as destination bachelorettes have become more popular) celebrating the bride's last hurrah as a single woman. Bachelor/bachelorette parties can be crazy parties involving strippers or a nice evening out with friends going to dinner or doing a paint and sip or something like that.

Thank you ladies . i will have to talk to them

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It is not the obligation of your wedding party (with or without a MOH) to plan a bachelorette party, and you never plan your own. If someone (in the wedding party or not) volunteers to throw you one, you can graciously accept. Otherwise, you just don't have one.

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seems extreme .

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I agree. I can't stand all these rules on what you should and shouldn't do tbh. I totally get not throwing your own bridal shower, as that involves gifting. But I don't see any issue with asking a few close friends out for drinks in the run up to your wedding day. I'm debating on doing that myself. I think wedding planning can be very isolating as well as stressful, so a night/afternoon out gives a nice break from all of that and helps you stay grounded and connected to the people you care about.

You don't need to have one. I had 3 bridesmaids, my sister being my MOH and my best friends (since middle school) as the other bridesmaids. But truthfully, they were all kind of MOH. When you have a smaller bridal party, it's easier to make it work that way.

My sister got married and had a matron and maid of honor (I was the maid, her bff the matron).

It's your wedding, so do you!

As for your other friend, if you really want her in the wedding, talk to her about expenses (if that's the major concern) and let her know what is needed and give her the opportunity to respond (if that's what you want).

I don't think you need one, but having one not designated to host & plan things may confuse them for the bachelorette or bridal shower or speech at the wedding.

Honestly you don't have to have one.. or you can have them all be maids of honor.. i know it seems weird but why not?

i had 3 girls in my party. my sister, my best friend and my bonus (step) daughter. both my sister and best friend are married. they were both my Matrons Of Honor. i didn't want to pick between them and you don't have to. my bonus daughter was my bridesmaid but i had her stand next to me at the ceremony and the pictures. its your day. do whatever you want!