Do I invite my sister?

I'm not inviting my oldest son (his wife and my 3 grandsons). They have disengaged from ALL of the family - my ex (his dad), my other son(his brother and family) as well as my ex MIL and my parents (all of whom are >85 yrs old and can no longer travel). They have been this way for over 10 years, by their choice. They were mad when my youngest son got married at a JP without them (without ANYone, actually - I was at a different wedding that day!) - they said "How could you deprive your nephews of attending your wedding??" - SERIOUSLY? Nope... he's not invited (and he's already cut out of my will. I would be OK with it if it was me, and I knew what I did, but when he dissed my parents, that was the FINAL straw.

I have a similar, very complicated relationship with one of my sisters. She has estranged herself from everyone else in the family and I was the last one who was still talking to her until about 6 months ago. She is coming to my sons graduation next month because she invited herself and he doesn't mind, and even though it will cause a lot of stress for the rest of the family, it's my sons day so....but for my day, I'm choosing not to invite her because she absolutely will come and either outright cause problems or just make everyone else in my family so uncomfortable (myself and FH included) that it just isn't worth it. All of this to say, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and just remember that toxic people are toxic, family or not, and you are not obligated to interact with them.

Our rule - if we or our parents didn't have a "real" relationship with the guest, they weren't invited.

Listen, at the end of the day, it's your wedding.

I would invite her, because it's likely that she won't show and you'd be doing the right thing. However, if you feel like it would bring unnecessary drama if she does show, then dont.

I think it would honestly be a lot easier if my family was swaying me one way or another, but we're all aware of how she is and they're just like "yea, we get it." This is probably going to be something that I decide on at the last minute

If she showed up, would you be upset? If yes, don't invite her.

Send the invite, you will never have to carry any guilt of not inviting her.

Idk id save the drama and not invite her if she's not going to show anyway. It sounds like a one way street type of relationship from what you're describing. Plus the whole day if she does come youll probably be stressed and hoping she doesn't cause any drama. I think that it's not fair for you to always be trying and her to just keep pushing away. There's a point when your emotional health matters more than trying to be the bigger person.

I would invite her and if she doesn't show, at least she can't blame anybody but herself for being left out because you made the effort and invited her.

I'm sending one invite to my immediate family addressed to "The Smith Family". If she wants to consider herself included in that, she can, but I'm not gonna lose sleep on whether or not she comes.

I would not invite her to my wedding. On the most important day of your life, do you really care about being courteous to one individual who has done nothing but hurt you? If there's ever a day to be selfish and put your own happiness far before hers, your wedding day is the day to do it.

Blood or not, extreme narcissistic bitches weren't invited to my wedding.

She can have her own pity party by herself and then hopefully ponder about why she wasn't invited.

It's not like you'll see her in the near future anyways since you've only seen her 3 times in 13 years.

Girl needs a reality check!

Nope.

I second Chivy.

I'm in a situation very similar to yours and I am not inviting my sister. I feel bad that she may feel excluded, but I only have 25 spaces to work with and she hasn't been a part of my life for years despite my effort.

I can see that you are torn between guilt if you don't invite her and stress if you do. I don't think anyone can answer this for you. The only thing I can recommend is maybe giving her a call. Does she know you're getting married? You might find the answer you are looking for once you speak to her. Either way, you are justified.

My sister and I haven't spoken in years. I am inviting her and if she shows that's great and if she doesn't than she can't? say she wasn't invited.. I say you should and see what happens

I wouldn't invite her if I were in your shoes, and wouldn't feel bad about it. It's your day, and it sounds like she would only cause you added stress. It's her loss, not yours.

Haven't spoken to my siblings in 2 years. Long story. Bottom line is they would play victim anyway and bring drama to the day. Not inviting them. May regret it later-but just can't do it.

I wouldn't invite her. I know it's your sister, but if she's going to cause you stress & possibly make a scene, I'd pass.