Do i Invite My mil Dress Shopping?

I think you can include her in other things but maybe not this. Dress shopping is a big deal and you may not want that negativity around you at that time. I only took my mom & MOH, the less opinions the better for me. Maybe you can include her in cake tasting or something?

I also considered inviting my FMIL because I know she won't get to have the dress shopping experience with her daughters, but I ultimately decided not to. Dress shopping is the one time during wedding planning that I'm being selfish. I'm glad to at least try to appease everyone during other planning decisions, but this one is about me. It's one of the moments that I'm most looking forward to and I don't want anything to take away from it.

That is a very personal decision! You can bring her shopping or invite her to a fitting later on down the line so she feels included or nothing at all! My thought is that you only want positive people you trust with you when you buy your dress.

I chose to bring only my mom and dad dress shopping with me. I’ll bring my bridesmaids to a fitting, and I’m considering bringing my FMIL to a fitting as well - but she’s a bit of a blabbermouth sometimes so I’m not 100% confident she’d be able to keep it a secret

This is definitely a personal decision, and depending on your relationship she may not be expecting an invite.

My FH is also an only child, and while he has girl cousins that his mom was involved in their weddings, she is definitely excited to get a daughter. I did invite her dress shopping, along with FH step mom as well (everyone gets along well) and I'm glad I have that memory with them and they got to be a part of that especially because they don't have girls.

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That's such a good idea to include her in cake testing! I've been having a hard time finding ways to keep her included, but that's a nice way to keep it simple and it includes delicious cake! Thank you!!

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I've never thought about the dress shopping as a bride-centered activity. I try to please too many people! But you're right! It's a key moment in the wedding planning process where I get to envision myself in the dress of my dreams walking towards the love of my life. I don't want anything to take away from that moment!

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I like your idea of inviting her to a fitting later on! I definitely need to surround myself with positive people I trust during my dress selection process, but she may be more inclined to keep those negative opinions to herself once she knows the decision has already been made!

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That's one of the reasons I've debated inviting my MIL because she hasn't been involved in any of his female cousin's weddings. Though.. there may be a reason for that. I want this process to strengthen our relationship and I feel like including her in a few important aspects of the wedding planning process would help push our relationship in a more positive direction.

Yeah, that's tough one. I invited my MIL to mine, but we have a great relationship. I did, however, not invite my grandmother because of possible drama she would bring with her. Not quite the same, but I think you need to do what's best for you. Talk it over with your FH so you're on the same page, but dress shopping should be such a wonderful experience for you, and you don't need the stress of possible drama or bad vibes.

It depends. I hate dress shopping with a passion so I just went with my mother to get it over with and wouldn't have wanted to have paraded dresses around any more than I had to already if I had invited my MIL or bridesmaids. If you are the type of person who doesn't mind it, it probably won't bother you to have other people there.

If you are worried about her saying anything, don't invite her. It only has to be a big production if you want it to be.

My husband is one of four boys and I'm the only one that has gotten married with his parents living nearby, so I wanted to include her as much as possible. I included my MIL in one of my dress shopping trips, a fitting, and the food tasting. However, I have a good relationship with both her and FIL. My husband and mother were halfway across the country during some of the fittings and the food tasting, so I was glad to share those moments with her.

That being said, make sure you invite her to events that you are comfortable with. If you're concerned about negativity, don't include her in the dress shopping unless you're comfortable with it. Is there one thing in particular she really cares about? Maybe she can help you in that one area, whether it is cake, flowers, fittings, favors, or even just a small things like picking out guest book, invitations, etc.

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I imagine dress shopping is stressful enough as it is - trying to find 'the one' and all, so I definitely don't want to chance any bad vibes. Thank you for sharing Alicia!

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That's a very good point. I'm not the biggest fan of shopping to begin with and to make it a big facade is not what I want. I may just end up inviting my mom and sister (MOH) to keep it simple and comfortable! Thank you for sharing, Valerie!

My MIL wasn't invited dress shopping with me, or anything else for that matter, because my relationship with her and FH's relationship with her are both strained. I don't feel badly for it. You shouldn't have to force or fake what's not there to begin with, just for the sake of including her. If you don't want her opinion, she doesn't need to be there.

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I wish I had a good relationship with my MIL. We don't have a negative relationship necessarily, she just has had a hard time letting her one and only child go and it's been very apparent at times. I'd have to think of what aspects of the wedding I see her enjoying the most, but I love the idea of including her in other ways. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and offering advice! Thank you so much, Monica!

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I definitely feel like if I invited her at this point, I would be feel obligated to make sure she enjoyed the experience, which is not the point of me trying on wedding dresses. I appreciate you sharing your experience and offering your advice!

I would not invite her, that is an emotional and important experience and you don't need negativity. Too many people have dress regret, you don't need to have negative words of your MIL in your head. Instead do the cake tasting or something where the stakes are not high.

My FMIL and I have had some "drama" too, and I truly wish I could just exclude her from everything. Especially because I am uncomfortable around her. BUT she is also very important to my FH (and our children)....so there is that. Therefore, for the sake of keeping peace, I really try to be the bigger person and include her. Because we are going to be family soon, whether I like it or not....and that means she will be in my life for a very long time. So, my advice is to invite her. You will have other people there that can outweigh any negative opinions she may have. Plus, she might not be as negative while she is surrounded by your peeps.

I don’t know if this is helpful or not but I did not invite my future mother in law shopping but she is coming with my mom and I for the first fitting! So she still gets the chance to see the dress before everyone else and she seems excited about that. Good luck!

So I sort of have a similar situation. We are not the closest and FH told me she thinks I don't like her cuz when we broke up for awhile she said I wasn't "his type" and was happy about it but I had never showed her any ill will after that really. It has been like 2 years since that happened. If anything I always think she doesn't like me since I know she said that. Anyway, my situation is a little unique because I am going to Italy this summer with my family and I am really looking to get a dress there. FMIL knows this I told her. But I do have an appt to try on dresses here to see if there's more options I like. Not sure if I should invite her if I really don't plan on buying one that day ya know?

I think if you can ultimately include her in other ways, it's important not to invite too many people and have too many opinions. Finding a dress is crucial so you can't have negativity. I think it matters too if who else you are inviting will all mesh smoothly with her.