Do I have to invite the Ex-Wife?

My FH has two children (8 and 12) with his ex-wife. We are not inviting her and it was never even assumed that we would. We are going to have both of them stand up with us and then later, they can just hang out and enjoy the reception. There is no reason why she would have to be invited. In fact, I think it would be really awkward for her to be there. About your situation, your FMIL shouldn't have say in this. It should be up to you and FH alone. Again, there is no reason why the ex should be invited.

She tried to break up your relationship and has tried denying him access to his child. Please re-read that to yourself. There's your answer.

I agree with Ashlee - no reason that she needs to be invited. I'm assuming his daughter has a relationship with other family members that will also be attending your wedding (like Aunts, Uncles, Grandma/Grandpa, etc) that can help to watch her and take care of her during the reception.

FH and I don't really have any drama with the mother of his sons, and we are still not inviting her. There's no reason for it.

No.

Sounds like the ex still has a hold over FMIL as well. If she isn't paying then she gets no say.

NO! IMO it's also disrespectful that your future MIL is being so insistent about her coming to your wedding. This is a new chapter in your lives. The past is the past and from what you have said she would only cause confusion and drama. Nobody wants that negativity on their wedding day. Your FH needs to put his foot down (for himself and for you). If he backs down that may be something you want to think about. I've known people who have exes that keep dragging them in and out of court($$&dollar and cause hell with visitation because their bitter that the other parent has moved on. It's not something you would want to deal with.

Shoot, after five years we now have a cordial relationship with the ex-wife. I even bought her a gift this past Christmas that cost $75.00 because I knew that she would appreciate it very much (jewelry that celebrated her two children in addition to her newborn) and she thinks of us as "one unit." She would like to come but we still aren't inviting her because well.. she's the ex-wife. Sorry but no..

No way! It was never even a thought to invite my FH's ex. Even though their son is going to be in our wedding there is no way I would ever invite her. But we also have some issues with each other.

OP, how long have you and FH been together, at this point?

Um....no. She can drop off the little girl and go home.

I don't like it at all. FH has 2 children and our relationship with their mother has had it's ups and downs. OUR wedding is no place for either of our ex's.

^^ Yep, or have someone pick up the child from the mother's home. OP, come back.

So you sorta answered your own question like @MzRosaLu said.

On the flip side my ex-husband (I have a son with) & FH's ex ( he has a son with) will be coming to our wedding. Only reason being we are on good terms & try to be a tight family unit for our boys. This does not happen nor work out for everyone. With your situation, I would not invite her mainly because of her past actions.

@Ashlee my FH and I been friends since 07' and we tried dating but I left for college and he left for the military and that's when he meet her. The girl end up getting pregnant and his mom made him marry her. He really did not love her decided to divorce her. He came to me afterwards and told me how he felt we dated and been dating for a year now. His mom has kind of all ways played a role in making decision for him. He stood up for us getting married when it came down to his mom but inviting the ex he seems like he is deciding with her on this one.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

What Celia said

No you don't invite her. Your husband and her grandparents would help with her on your wedding day. There is no reason for the ex to be there.

My niece is my flower girl. Her mother and my brother are no longer together - it was never an idea to invite her. (And shes good with that) This woman sounds like drama. Your mother in law unfortunately over stepping her boundaries, its not her call. A LOT can happen in two years, who knows where this woman will be by then. You should tell you FH that you're not comfortable with the idea of her being there. Honestly, id start putting it in his head now as well as his mothers that its a no. It's yours and his day and you shouldn't have anything or anyone there that makes your day less than great. One thing i learned on WW about guest lists is "Invite those who are genuinely happy and excited to see your union" and it's helped me weed out my guest list. It's still hard but at the end of the day people are going to get butthurt so owell its either us the brides or them the guests and sorry but it should be them lol

No

He told you his mom "made him" marry her? I suggest you start calling your FH out on his bullshit when he tries to blame mommy for his decisions. If that's how he operates, you're in for years of drama and headaches.