do i have to invite my sister? should i??

I would invite her- but certainly not give her any special wedding privileges.

I think it comes down to whether or not you want a relationship with her. If you do, you HAVE to invite her. If you don't care or don't want one, then don't invite her.

Hopefully if you invite her she won't show anyway but at least she'll know you tried.

Heck no I wouldn't invite her. I have a sister I haven't seen or talked to in 20 plus years and she didn't get invited. Why invite someone to your special day if you know it might be ruined because of her. I didn't even invite my step sister that I grew up with because we hate each other.

This is coming from someone who is close to her sister, so I might be biased but ---Definitely invite her. If she doesn't come, that's her problem and at least you know you tried. It might be one of the last chances to have a relationship with her (if you want one). If you don't invite her, I couldn't imagine you guys ever talking again. She'll always have that to hang over your head and it'll just cause more tension in the family.

Yeah its hard. i think, if i dont invite her - she'll be like "see how SHE is" and if I do she will either one, not come and be like "that pathetic girl invited me -HA I'm not even responding" or show up and be a grumpy B! the whole time. being very clear that she is only coming out of family duty. She was a bridezilla during her wedding planning. I was making incredibly good money at the time, and gave her $5k and paid for her $900 cake, and threw a shower and paid for drinx at her bachltte party. Only for her to insult me repeatedly, I almost didnt even go to the wedding but did to keep face. My family can't believe we are from the same home. She is so mean. I'm not saying i'm perfect! I just finally stood up to her a few years ago and tried to talk to her about how much she hurts me and she just went off on me even more. Its hard bcz we lost our father almst 10 yrs ago and this strain is very on on our Mother. And now with her kids< I want to be a part of their lives. ??? ugh.

I just want her to be nice, normal, friendly.. nice. I dont care if she even talks to me really... just dont be a grumpy b!tch. she told my mom that I need to apolize to her. ??? apolize for her physically and verbally abusing me and then doing so much for her just so she would like me and stop being so mean? I'm soo torn. we almost just eloped for this exact reason.

If you can do it, swallow your pride and invite her. Even if she thinks your pathetic or tells people she's only there for family duty. because if people have any sense they'll see what's going on. and if you're expecting her to be that way then you know to just ignore it and focus on your beautiful day. if she does anything negative, it's only going to make her look bad. If it were me, I'd invite her, as complicated as it is. and I would even try talking to her, whether it's a letter or a phone call and tell her (in a nice way) that although you are very different that you are still sisters and even if it means that you can just agree to disagree, you should be involved in each other's lives, even if it's just for your mom's sake.

You can't control how she will be or what she will think. You can only control how you react to it. She can think you are pathetic all she wants, but you KNOW you are the better person. You KNOW you are not pathetic.

If she is a grumpy B, she will be the one making a fool of herself.

I know it's hard but sometimes, even after an awful history, you have to be the bigger person. I would invite her to the wedding but not ask her to take part in any part of the wedding or planning process. Since you know what to expect from her, at least there won't be any surprises.

Amen keatha!

I'm not inviting my sisters, even though I love them both and am pretty close with them, its my day and I can't handle their drama.

So its 100% up to you.

Thank you ladies! Im really struggling with it. I think i will think on it somemore and wait on a last minute invite possibly. We'll see how the summer goes... ?? best wishes to you all!!

If you don't want her there, then don't invite her.

It's your day do whatever you want! I eliminated some family from mine, not my sister (it would have killed my other), although I would have liked to. I guess just consider whether you ever realy want to have the option to talk to her agian, b/c while you might not really talk now, not inviting her might seal the deal. If there are tons of people there like family functions, she'll stay in line and there are plenty of ways to avoid her, no?

My sister and I cant stand each other so I would not expect her to come and be happy for me on my special day, so therefore she is not invited.

It gets exhausting always being the bigger person. Case in point: We are having a picnic here for Father's Day and my brothers and I and our families will be here in MD. I am hosting it. She lives in NJ with her family. I sent her a nice emial telling her where and when and "if she wanted to spend Father's Day with Daddy she was more than welcome to join us". I got a bit**y response

"Um, Yeah, THANKS, but NO THANKS!"

Oh well, her Loss!! Its not going to spoil our day with Daddy. Your wedding should be no different.

I think thats tough Im inviting my sister that i dont talk to and she didnt invite me to her wedding and Im sure she wont come But my thoughts are im the better person for extending that branch. Just Like i hate my bio dads wife but im inviting her even though i dont expect them to come. But at least i attempted to be the better person

I have a similar problem with my family and sister. It is a very hard decision to make either way. Two questions I answered within myself. What is the worst that could happen if you invite/don't invite her? Do you have other people who support you as a couple and wish you well that she would be keeping from coming if she graces you with her presence?

Those both helped me a lot. In the end, my sister and the trouble makers in my family are not invited. It stinks, but the day will be happier because of it. It is totally a personal decision in the end.

Good luck to you.

I'm kind of in the same boat, although it's not my sister. My dad has a brother that I have not seen in ten years except once at my grandfather's funeral. I'm not sending him an invite. To be honest, I don't think even my dad knows where he is so that is an easy one. My dad has another brother that is married to a horrible woman. Every time I see her or her daughter they make nasty or snide comments about me, anything from being fat to being an alcoholic (I had ONE glass of wine!) As a result I'm not inviting them. It will create some drama in the family but I spoke with my dad and he understands. Maybe ask some of your family members what they think. They would have a better gage of the situation.

I have the sister from hell. My mom says oh just let her keep disrespecting you...Really ??? We have never gotten along and now that I am writing the final chapter of my life I am content that we never had and never will have a sister to sister relationship. I say off with the drama and it is about you....

I'm having the same problem, only with my brother. We used to be close when we were younger but not at all in the last 5 yrs. I am having a destination wedding in florida, where he lives lol. When he finds out he will probably be mad but it's my day. I've seen him 2 times in the last 5 yrs and both times he started running his mouth and being annoying. I can only imagine how he would be after adding alcohol. At this point I am not inviting him.