Do I have to invite my creepy uncle to my wedding?

They are not married. So I don't think you are obligated.

I think you owe your aunt a phone call to explain why. But I think you should definitely do what makes your feel comfortable about invite/no invite. If she's divorced from him... she knows something is wrong! Just say "hey Aunt Jane. We are having a small intimate wedding. As you might be aware, John makes me feel uncomfortable. One night I woke up to him standing in my bedroom. Because of this, I don't feel comfortable having him at my wedding. I hope you can understand it would bother me to have him attend. I do want you there and felt I owed you an explanation before hand."

Okay! New plan: bring it up next time I see her. I think y'all are right. It would be weird to just have the invitation show up addressed only to her. But I think she would understand if I just mentioned that we are working on the guest list and I'm probably not going to add 'Jerry' to her invitation because he 'makes me a little uncomfortable'.

I am trying not to bring up the sleeping incident because I think she would freak.

Another piece of this, is that she has mentioned that he is not my biggest fan. So, he may not come anyway. BUT, I'd hate to invite him and then actually have him show up...*shudder*

I feel it's more of a convenience thing... thought I can't completely speak to either of their motivations.

They are both in their 70's and I think it's partially because they are set in their habits and it would be too difficult to change things up now. The other part is definitely financial stability.

Also, there is probably something nice, or secure, about having someone else around, especially at that age - even if they aren't really floating your boat anymore.

I think you should tell her before she asks.

If you're going to tell her about it, include specific behavior. It's not fair to just leave something like "he makes me uncomfortable" out there, leaving her to wonder why that would be. It's also not fair for the rest of the family to gossip about them and nobody's being upfront with her.

I'm with m that I still think he should be invited, if he's part of a social unit with your aunt and not just living together out of convenience. If they are together in that way and he's going to be excluded, you owe it to your aunt to be specific about what behavior makes people uncomfortable instead of just giving a vague reason.

I agree, just let her know how you are feeling. she may already have some idea that you are uncomfortable around him.

^^^ also what rebecca said, but i realize that you are trying to protect her feelings by not bringing it up. Have you ever talked about this with your mom/dad (whoever's sibling your aunt is)? or brought up the topic of not inviting him? they may have some farther insight into the situation than we are able to help you with.

You need to have a "whole" conversation with her, not just the part that covers your wedding. If he is such a creep that he watches girls sleep shouldn't she KNOW that? Sorry but it dead wrong to have enough conversation to cover your actions, while leaving her in the dark and possibly endangering someone else in that house. If you aren't going to invite her partner, put all the cards on the table.

I have definitely brought it up to other family members (not specifically the wedding invite, but the lurking thing) and I don't think anyone would be surprised if I didn't invite him.

We kind of try to keep it light with auntie because she has anxiety and I honestly think the details could give her a panic attack.

Perhaps, I can tell her I don't want him there, but if she really wants him to be invited, I can... I just really despise him.

The more I wedding plan, the more I realize it really ends up being about what the people around you want.

If they are just roommates, no. If there is still a relationship between them, yes....or you need to discuss with her and be honest about it.

Christine, I do NOT think you should invite him. He makes you feel uncomfortable. That's it, period. There is not reason you should have to worry about a gropy hug or something on your wedding day.

The nicest thing would be to explain to her and leave it at that. But honestly you don't owe a creepy person anything! It sounds like you think your aunt will still come and will understand her whatever-he-is won't be invited. I think that's the best you can hope for.