Do I have to invite my creepy uncle to my wedding?

I'd leave him out, seriously. If she doesn't want to come, she won't.

Yes, I think he does need to be invited, I would not sacrifice the presence of an aunt you've seemed to love regardless of this marriage and divorce for this. I was going to invite my mom's creepy boyfriend until they broke up (thank god).

If you go this route, you'll end up having to have a conversation with your aunt about his behavior. So be prepared for that.

Honestly, I wouldn't invite him. If having him there is going to make you and possibly many of your other guests uncomfortable, then don't invite him. You don't need that crap on your wedding day!

Tough one. I lean towards not inviting him, but of course, as Rebecca pointed out, you will have to have a tough conversation with your Aunt. I don't feel like you can leave him out without giving her the respect of explaining why.

"Never doubt yourself kids-If you're uncles weird- then your uncles fucking weird- don't sit next to him"

https://youtu.be/cpFuVOFhGoo

BAW HA HA HA HAH- so sorry- have to share- at minute 3:10- although it's a good make up video across the board- totally NSFW.

And WW- why do you cut my shit off all the time. grrrrrrrrrrr

Mmm nope. Don't invite him. I would assume your aunt is aware of some of this creepiness and won't be too surprised by him not being invited.

So a girl doesn't want to invite a +1 for her brother and everyone freaks, but someone doesn't want to invite someone who's been in a long term relationship with a very close aunt who has a big part in the wedding, and everyone's cool?

Sorry, either it was creepy enough to report to the police and discuss with the aunt, or this girl just has to suck it up that he's quiet and she doesn't like that.

I said suck it up and deal with the fact that he is quiet, and nowhere did she say she felt victimized, just "creeped out," which to me, is not a good enough reason to not invite someone who I would think, based on the fact that she wants a way out of it, is expected to be invited. Just going off what I'm reading.

@m so she should invite this man, who has snuck into her room to watch her sleep (and who knows what else if she hadn't woken up) and has done the same to other female relatives, because he's not creepy enough? Being creepy enough to report to the police and being creepy enough to not want this person at her wedding are two very different things.

I think if this person is so creepy that you don't want them at your wedding, then you shouldn't want them in your life, period. But if you will still talk to this man or visit his home in the future, not inviting him is rude.

If you plan on never speaking to him again, fine, don't invite him. Just know that this might result in your aunt never speaking to you again either.

I totally and utterly disagree. There will be potentially hundreds of people there - noticing him at all will be a feat, and I think if it's expected by this aunt that he is invited because they are a unit, married or not, then I find this wrong and she will see it as a slap in the face.

Ew! I hate creepy men like that. If you don't feel comfortable around him, don't invite him. I have a similar situation but in my case it's my future mother in law's husband. We spoke to FH's mother and told her we are not inviting her husband and why. I'm sure part of her was upset but she understood because her entire family hates him. Not only will it make other people uncomfortable, it will make us uncomfortable and it's our wedding day. I think it's definitely a conversation you need to have with your aunt, but at the end of the day I'm sure she would understand.

They are divorced and are probably just living with each other out of convenience and necessity because neither can afford to live on their own.

i would say no way, and honestly i would be surprised if your aunt even mentioned him not being invited. if she does then just tell her.

ETA: OP- are they actually a couple and BF an GF and were once married? or are they divorced and have just remained living together?

She said in the OP that they "still live together as a couple". That means they are together, not that they are living together out of convenience. In my opinion you should invite both of them or neither of them as you should do with all couples. Couples are social units and they get invited together. She does have the option of inviting neither of them if she feels strongly enough about the creepiness factor. Even if she just invites the Aunt, it is likely the Aunt will feel insulted and not attend anyway.

I guess either way in my opinion it honestly doesn't matter if they are a couple. i would say to not invite him based on the premise that he has already presented himself as a potential threat to the bride and has behaved inappropriately towards the bride.

I feel like this is a different situation than simply not inviting a spouse because you don't like them.

Thanks all! It is so helpful to get some outside opinions.

For a little more background, my wedding will be on the smaller side (50-60 people), so I would definitely 'notice' him. I feel like my aunt would still attend, regardless of whether he was invited or not - we are that close. I guess I will just have to put on my big girl panties and tell her the truth when/if she asks. I have avoided bringing the situation up to her because she is old and medically fragile. I don't want to cause her undue stress. Hopefully a simple 'he makes me uncomfortable' will suffice...

If she's older will she be able to attend without him though?

Since you are so close to your aunt, why not just talk to her about it? I think it would be better to sit down with her and explain how you are feeling, rather than just letting her get an invite in the mail that doesn't include him. That would just be a slap in the face. She deserves a conversation, at the very least.

If you truly do not plan to invite him, you need to suck it up and tell her BEFORE. Addressing the invitation to just her, and then having to make an awkward call when she RSVP's with them both is stupid. Talk to her and ask her how she would like you to handle this situation. I am in the boat that guests are entitled to bring dates but, if you honestly feel uncomfortable or unsafe, talk to her about it.