Do i ask to have a bridal shower?

No, you shouldn't ask anyone about a shower unless they've brought it up.

I totally get where you are coming from. Normally it's taboo to ask for one, BUT I think it can also be situational and we all know our own people better than anyone else. My MOH graciously planned a bachelorette for me, but had no plans for a bridal shower. Therefore, I asked my mom if she would throw me one, and she did. It doesn't have to be your MOH that plans this. It can be any woman that cares for you.

Where I live one of the mother's plans it, maybe your MOH thought the same. You could ask the bridal party what do they think of a shower and see what happens?
I feel like asking for one is unusual, but I've also heard of bride's planning their own.

Honestly, I think with less than 2 months to go, it would be rude to ask anyone to host a party for you when the purpose of that party is to get more gifts. I’ve never seen a bridal shower closer to the wedding than 1-2 months out which would give whoever you’re asking about a week to get a plan together and send out invitations.

It is not your bridal party's job to plan a shower for you, and you shouldn't ask anyone to. If someone (whether or not in your bridal party) offers, you can graciously accept. Otherwise, you just don't get one.

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Sarah,

I appreciate your honest opinion but I must say that I don't think the purpose of the party is to get more gifts. I actually have a very limited registry because there's not much I need. I was excited for a bridal shower because not all of my bridesmaids and girlfriends were able to attend my bachelorette party so I thought it'd be a good reason to have girl time and celebrate becoming a wife with them.

I think it is ok to mention it. I wouldn't outright ask, maybe contact your MOH since she helped plan the bachelorette party and ask "Have you thought about a bridal shower?" Maybe she forgot, or was unaware that a bridal shower is typically on her list of "duties", or maybe she thinks you didn't want one since you didn't mention it. My mom and sister/MOH are throwing one for me but it is in my hometown, and far away from where I live and where my fiance and his family are from. My mom casually mentioned to his step-mom that they might want to host their own instead of making people travel, and she thought it was a great idea. I think that having a bridal shower is an important event in the whole wedding process, and not having one because no one stepped up kinda sucks.

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Most brides who have smaller registries, tend to not have bridal showers. The definition is to "shower" the bride with gifts. Since it's not your intent to get gifts at this event, you can just plan a girls day with those who were unable to celebrate your bachelorette party. It could be more low key like a lunch or some other activity you enjoy. The word shower presumes, I need to get a gift from their registry. You can just organize a hang out with your friends like hey since you couldn't make the bachelorette party I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a couple of drinks (or lunch, or whatever) to celebrate with me before my big day. That way you have the celebration, but no one feels obligated to get you a gift.

My FMIL is planning majority of my shower, my bridesmaids are just bringing the decorations. So yes you shouldn't have to ask about it but if you want to you could ask both your MOH and your mom or FMIL. Someone has to have an idea of who's planning it between the three of them. So Sorry you're going through this!

View Quoted Comment Deirdre,

That’s a great idea!!! I forgot the whole reason behind the name of the party is to “shower” the bride with gifts. I think I’m going to plan a lunch or pottery painting day. Thanks so much for the advice!

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Agree with this. I have NEVER seen a MOH solely plan a bridal shower. It's always the mothers or like an aunt. The MOH & bridesmaids then help the mothers. I would personally ask a mom if I wasn't getting one because that's a personal family conversation not so much putting pressure on the bridal party.

Any friend, whether or not in the wedding party, and any relative , can offer to throw a shower. It is often someone in the bridal party, because that includes some of your closest friends. But your mom and aunt, or mom and some friend who did not help plan and pay for the bachelorette, may want to do one. . . I had multiple showers in different locations, 4 different states. None by any of my wedding party, who were far away through my whole engagement, but each drove to one my MIL gave. So I was not expecting a bachelorette. I heard talk of one where folks wanted to go to a strip club, and go bar to bar in a limo, and had said, no thank you. And there were 4 people I did not invite to my wedding because they were moving cross country or overseas a month before my wedding. And some friends who did not live close to any of my showers. So I planned, hosted ( paid for everything) and had a women's weekend. Not a shower, no gifts expected. I rented 6 rooms plus a common living, kitchen, dining " hospitality area" at a ski winter, lakeside resort summer. 2 came for one day and an overnight, others for 3 or 4 days. Within 1½ hours drive of the furthest away person. I brought hammocks, canoe and kayaks and a small paddleboat, to use on the lake. Groceries for cooking in, cookout food for a few meals cooked on the grill. And bought tickets to a summer theatre one night, and a James Taylor concert the next night. . . Since I paid for everything, and not a shower where gifts were expected, it left me free to invite who I wanted there and likely would not see for 10 months or a year, even though mot invited to my wedding. And several school, army, and work friends from that area. It was great. One friend brought pounds of jewelry making beads, and findings, and several sets of tools. Everyone made earrings and at least one other item for herself. This friend made a headpiece of tiger's eye beads, that I attached my veil to. Unexpected and beautiful. Her treat to everyone, she k ew all but 2 who were there. People did what they wanted, card games, long walks, one day 6 rents bikes, while the rest of us shopped little stores in nearby small towns. It is selfish to throw a party where others pay and care out your plans, or to plan a party for people to bring you gifts. But it is perfectly good manners to have a gathering that is an un-shower regular party. You as host pay, for everyone, and do what you want. And it is not limited to those coming to your wedding. If you want a whole day thing, or one evening, plan it ! One of the most fun bride given parties of friends I ever did was when I was a student in the Boston area. We all met at a subway and bus hub. Got on the T, got off at a square with a street cafe for morning coffee and snack. Window shopped our way to Chinatown, bought stuff, had lunch. On the T 3 more locations, ending with a movie we had all seen before, Rocky Horror. We had all been friends when undergrads at colleges in and around Boston, and Boston by favorite subway stop was more fun than it likely sounds. Another low budget one, we hiked up a low Massachusetts Mountain, where an expo of hang gliders and one of hot air balloons were in two adjacent valleys. No admission, just watched, took pictures, and a picnic lunch bride had planned. So much fun. Cheap. Not another drinking occasion. Nice. . . Having had a Bach, if you can afford to plan something low key, do it. Enjoy the last women's party you will plan as a single woman.