Diying everything

Is there a reason he doesn't want to spend the money?

View Quoted Comment Were young and dont have alot of money but we could do 3000 easily without having to take put a loan so I dont know.

You both need to decide what you want out of a wedding and agree on a plan and then figure out what executing that plan will cost.

Maybe he doesn't want to spend the money on a wedding but doesn't understand that then you can't really have the wedding you both would want

View Quoted Comment I think I would hold off on getting married until you have the money to do so.

He’s “dead set on spending nothing”??? He does understand that you can’t get married for free, right? Even if you go to the courthouse, it’s not free. I think you guys need to have a serious conversation about what wedding planning, and getting married, really entails.

I would sit down and each make a list of what is most important for your wedding. Then budget for each important aspect. I only spent 150 on my wedding dress so that we could put more towards decorations to stay in budget! Hope this helps!

The cheapest wedding would be court house or to elope just the two of you, or do a small backyard ceremony with just immediate family only.


However, if you want to invite guests, that is where costs come in. A reception is to thank the guests and ensure they are well hosted and comfortable, things like a comfortable venue, food, drinks and dancing are for the guests and that costs money.

What do you plan to DIY? If $3k is your budget, then don’t blow it purchasing a bunch of crafts. For decor, use pillar candles in glass vases mixed with votives all around and maybe some petals. Possibly send Paperless Post invitations via email. Then you can use the $3k on a few vendors.

View Quoted Comment This.
But you both need to agree on a budget.

They sell pillar candles and the vases at Dollar Tree. So that’s easy and cheap.

This is a bigger issue than planning a wedding... if you two have different stances on finances then that really needs to be discussed

Tell him to stop being so cheap or elope

I think you need to sit down and realistically talk about what you want. I'm not saying some sort of wedding can't be done for $3k, but I would be weary of this idea of saving money by doing everything DIY. I would also advise against waiting too late to start any DIY projects. I would say to start planning by picking out the things that are most important to you both. Then look at how much those things cost. That's when you can choose the best way to go about things whether that's eloping, something very small, DIYing what you can and compromising on the rest, or just waiting until you can get more saved up.

I will say that at the beginning of the planning process my fiancé wanted to spend as little as possible. Once we started really looking at things and getting quotes he started to understand what some of these things actually cost. We were then able to set a realistic budget based on what we really wanted AND what we could afford.

Really not loving the "he won't let me" language. You're both adults and even if you share finances completely, allowing vs. not allowing (even if that's just the language you're using to describe his apprehension) isn't confidence-boosting.

Additionally, as PPs said, getting married at the bare minimum (going to the courthouse and doing it there) is going to cost you at least ~$40, depending on where you live. You both need to get on the same page about both of your expectations vs. a completely realistic budget.

I suggest maybe showing him real-life examples. It didn't hit me or my FH how much a basic wedding costs until we started seeing how much other people were spending and by researching vendors in the area we wanted to get married. (I'm actually unsure how you're planning to book a venue plus feed people let alone decorate for $3000 but I'm not saying it's impossible!!)
Also, DIY can be suuuuper stressful. My SIL didn't do much DIY projects perse, but the vendors weren't all typical wedding vendors for example and she didn't have a coordinator so there was a lotttt on her shoulders. I personally plan on doing some DIY myself, but it's best to get ahead and start as early as possible. If your fiancé is making it difficult to start, that's another thing you'll need to discuss with him. I suggest youtubing Jamie Wolfer. She DIY-ed her wedding and is now a planner because she knows how difficult it is. She'll help give you some perspective.

View Quoted Comment We have a free venue in someones back yard, I'm going to cook 3 types of pasta and two sauces plus rolls and salads for the dinner. For activity hour were having veggie and fruit trays that were making. It's about 75 people. 30 or so are coming to ceremony (family and bridal party only). We have free officiant and theres no alcohol because none of our friends drink so were saving money there. Were going to run tulle across beams of the ceiling and theres already a sound system and lights. I'm buying candles and vases from dollar store and using our bouquets (that were making) as centerpieces. Were getting a discounted cake from either a friend or Sam's club makes cheap cakes. I'm buying my dress online for 150 and my veil for 20.

View Quoted Comment Nice! Just remember there's still tables, chairs for ceremony and reception, cutlery, glasses, plates, dance floor(?), and possibly you'd need extra power or something. Also I know people always recommend a backup plan in case of rain. Even more so I recommend finding real-life examples of what you'll need to do for a completely DIY wedding. Good luck 😊

View Quoted Comment It has tables thankfully and were renting chairs for $2 a chair, were just going to to dance on concrete. It's a covers venue with concrete floor, outside but safe from rain so if it does well just move the ceremony under there. Thank you.

It sounds to me like he has some reservations about getting married. There might be more to this situation.

View Quoted Comment

This is a really important point. All the DIYing in the world won't solve the problem of a lack of communication, ability to compromise, or different values and priorities.

You ask, "How do I make him understand how hard hes making it on me?" but that's not the right question. The right questions are more about how do you learn to communicate and compromise with your future spouse? How do you make sure both of your values are aligned? Start with those issues and THEN get back to wedding planning once everything has been solved.