Divorced parents who dont get along...and engagement party coming up...what to do??

This is an event where they have to be civil no exceptions

And its also an event you should invite both sides no one says they have to talk to each other Im sure there will be your FH family there for them to get to know and avoid each other

I should probably mention that my FH and i are long distance and his family most likely will not be able to attend!

I agree with Lizzie, they have to be civil. I have a similar situation with my parents, except I'm closer to my dad and my mom is nonexistent in my life. However, I am extending an invitation to my mom (not allowing her to bring anyone else, though, as I am sure she would want to bring her current boyfriend and my dad's family would probably "whoop some ass"), and it will be up to her to accept it. If she decides to come, BOTH parents will HAVE to be civil toward each other or I will have BOTH parents removed ASAP, no questions asked.

I think an invite is fine for both parties but I also think that you should make it very clear that its not about them its about you and your man and if they cant deal with eachother for that period of time then sadly they will miss out on a very important time in your life. Sounds sassy I know but you shouldnt have to stress about it and its eaiser said then done... =/

Your family is just going to have to deal with your plans the way you want them, plain and simple. My immature parents lived through both of their childrens weddings and everything was fine. My mom seriously wanted to give me money to elope!

Talk to them separately and tell them that your engagement party is the first of your wedding events that are about you and your FH. If they attend - and tell them you do want them BOTH to attend - tell them their focus needs to be on supporting and being happy for you and FH. Tell them you understand that it is common and natural for them to have negative feelings about each other and maybe even about marriage generally so soon after a divorce, but that none of that has a place at your wedding events. They don't have to interact a lot, but they need to be civil and pleasant around you and FH and your guests.

I completely agree with Lizzie. This is one of the situations where they have to be cordial to one another. This is one of the occasions where they should be able to put their differences aside for your sake. The party is for you and yours.

I had a similar situation with my FH's parents. They do NOT get along, but when FMIL threw us an engagement party, she invited FFIL and his wife (who FMIL may dislike even more than she dislikes FFIL). They both agreed to come to the party, and when the day came, everyone was cordial to one another, and the party went smoothly.

Olivia - As someone in almost the exact same situation (parents divorced 3 years, after 37 years of marriage) I had a sit down with each parent separately like J&R said. I explained my expectations and that i would really rather not have to worry about my grown a$$ parents on my wedding day. I also enlisted family members I trust to be in charge of "babysitting" them. My brother will be in charge of making sure my dad doesn't lose it, and my uncle will take care of mom. Also, seating charts are essential. We are having three tables in front of the head table. Moms side, FH's family, and Dad's side. Separated Good luck!

Sorry, I just read the first line... Um this is not about them, it is about you and FI so tell them to put their big kid panties on and suck it up! Sorry parents acting like children infuriated me, mine used to.

They MUST be civil with each other. NO EXCEPTIONS!!! If you have to, talk to them one on one and ask them to PLEASE be nice and respectful to each other. That you would like this day to go over without a hitch and that it's VERY important to you that they come together and SUPPORT you on this day...same speech goes for your teas/showers and most importantly your wedding day. I know they might not like each other at the moment, but this is YOUR day and it would mean the world to you that they act nice and polite to you and to each other and to each others parents.

Phone your dad and explain to him you really would like for him to be a part of your day do the same with your mother and tell both of them that they must put their personal issues aside because this is about you you not them

I would stress to your parents that you want them both to be able to attend and share in this special day. Be polite, of course, but honest. Tell them your concerns. They might get defensive, but as adults, they should be able to pull it together for your sake in order to attend. Of course, just because they are adults doesn't mean that they will behave as such. Make it clear to them that at the sign of any trouble, you will ask them to leave because you don't want your engagement party or anything else related to your wedding to have bad memories. With that being said, use friends that you are planning to invite as buffers between the warring parties. Seating arrangements will be key here. Make sure that everyone is seated comfortably with people they don't hate and that will be half the battle. Remember that this is supposed to be about you, and don't be afraid to remind your parents and/or relatives about this. DEEP CLEANSING BREATHS! Everything will be ok.