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Expert July 2017

Divorce advice

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bridetobe2017, on November 8, 2017 at 7:13 PM

I know this is a marriage app but me and my husband just got married 7/15/17 after being together for 6 and a half years and we have 2 daughters. Fast forward 2 months after our wedding and he walked out on us, we are now about to start the divorce process and the only answer I have been given is "I was unhappy". He was so happy at our wedding and this completely hit me out of the blue. I have posted a few times before regarding this situation when he was going through severe mental health issues (depression and anxiety) he has told me since walking out on us.. it has been 3 weeks as of today that he is happier. But I don't understand how he was so happy at our wedding... I've tried asking him these things he does not answer. Could it really be I just didn't make him happy? I was coping better with this lately and for some reason today is SUCH a struggle. He has not seemed upset or even talked to me really since he left. We have talked on the phone once for a few mins.

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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on November 9, 2017 at 4:55 PM
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A lot of my high school friends are recently divorced or currently going through it. My best advice is:

-Get a good lawyer, even more so since you have children.

-Heal from this. Cope with it like you would cope with the physical loss of a loved one. A relationship severed can be just as painful as a physical loss. Please try to take healthy steps and move forward. Don't try to keep reaching back to him. This relationship, of that of a husband and wife, is over. You can maintain or try to build a different, amicable, peaceful, detached ex-husband/ex-wife relationship but keep your distance to protect yourself.

-There is ZERO shame in seeking counseling. None. Nada. Do not let anyone talk you out of finding a good therapist. Coping with, learning from, and processing this loss is going to be hard and confusing. Seeking a therapist does not mean you are "crazy." It merely means you want a qualified, objective third party to vent, scream, cry, and seek guidance for healthy meaningful growth. Also, as painful as it may be, you may need to talk to multiple therapists to find the one right for you. When I was in my very acute period of PTSD I spoke with two very dismissive, judgemental psychologists that made me feel horrible about my situation. My DH (boyfriend at the time) supported me and urged me to continue my search until I found the right therapist (five...it took FIVE different session to find the right therapist). It is worth finding the right one. They will help you help yourself. They help you build and develop skills to make you stronger.

I'm so so so so so sorry you are dealing with this.
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