Divorce advice

I don't have any advice other than to say I am so sorry about your situation and for your daughters. Sending positive vibes your way.

First off, I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel for you. I can't imagine what you're going through and while I'm newer to the WW community, I know you'll get a lot of love and support on here.

I get angry at people who act selfishly like this. Walking out on you and your daughters. It's cowardly, and obviously stems from a lot of deep insecurities. I don't need to know you to tell you that is unfair to you, especially when you both took a vow only 2 months ago.

Six and a half years is a long time to be together, but for him to put you and your girls through this so suddenly and without much of an explination; I have to ask, is this man the right man for you? Will he give you all of the love and support you deserve?

Again, sending a lot of hugs.

I'm so sorry....that's heartbreaking, and so unfair to you and your children. I wish I could offer advice but hopefully you have a strong support system and maybe could seek therapy to help you through this difficult time.

I am in therapy, I'm going once a week to help me. I got on anti depressants and xanex to help with panic attacks. I didn't realize how bad I was until I went to the doctor and had lost 20 pounds in a month, I was so sick inside I couldn't even eat. He has never done anything like this before, and I can't tell if it's his depression or if he really is just done with me and our family and I feel like I've tried to get so many answers I'm only making it worse for myself but I don't understand. Our daughter saw him today and she was sobbing and holding onto his leg and I screamed at him to come home and he just left again. I feel like it's not depression, but I don't understand how someone does a 180 like that after so long and we just got married.

I feel like when you marry someone you don't just give up and walk away, but he already has. I don't know what is left for me to do. Or what I can do. I've asked him for counseling he says why would we go to counseling for a divorce.

He has never done anything like this ever before. I don't get how a mental illness would just all the sudden pop up and then he's gone.

I'm sorry you're going through this. As for your question, "Could it really be I just didn't make him happy?", I believe the answer is no. It's not your job to make another person happy. And while many marriages can be saved, it takes both parties to save a marriage.

Divorce certainly isn't fun, and I hope you have friends and family in your life to offer support.

Sorry to hear that. I was also in a short term marriage. Sometimes people see red flags before the marriage even takes place, but regardless of his "reasons," it sounds as though your ex is unable to communicate properly. Take this time to just be the strongest and best that you can, so your kids will see a good example. Maybe down the road he will open up to you - but don't let that drag you down. Keep your head up!

This may not be what you want to hear right now, but go meet with a lawyer and find out what your rights are. I do some family law work and a lot of states will not grant alimony for such a short term marriage, but you should certainly be entitled to child support for your two kids. You don't know what's going on with him, and it sounds completely terrible and terrifying (I'm sorry--you do not deserve this), but you need to protect yourself and your kids from whatever is going on with him.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but some people cannot be happy with another person until they're happy with themselves. I personally had a long history of dating people like this, one who was even suicidal and I had to contact his campus police to stop him from drowning himself in a freezing cold river. It was terrible, and traumaticizing, and honestly falling in love with someone who doesnt love themselves can be one of the hardest things. I hope that you can see that you are not to blame. Stay strong, sending good vibes your way!

I'm really sorry. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has been very difficult for me. It feels like my brain just kind of switches. The thing about it though is I get help and I know it is all in my head and with medication and therapy I am much better. If he can't go and get help, there's really not a whole lot you can do. I'm really sorry. Stay strong!

I have bi polar and depending on his age.... usually the signs aren't this and don't get turn like this. Does he get paranoid, talk fast sometimes or not at all, is he impulsive? There's different types of bipolar BUT It sounds like he was just going through the motions towards the end and just isn't good at communication.

Perhaps he was not happy (for whatever reason -- mental illness maybe) and thought getting married would 'fix it.'

Check with a lawyer as to whether it would be better to get marriage annulled (he was not of sound mind) or get divorced.

I remember your post from before, as I told you in your last post you CANNOT continue to chase after him honey. I know it is hard believe me. I am a second bride. As I told you before in you last post if you continue to do this to yourself you will end up losing your way and doubting your self worth. You have already started by asking yourself "Did I really not make him happy." Do no do this to yourself any longer.

Continue your therapy and focus on YOU. YOU and YOUR CHILDREN. You cannot MAKE someone do something they don't want to. You said you have lost weight, honey if you do not stop, it will not stop there. Stress takes a toll on the body, believe me it happened with my first marriage. I was so sick and stressed, I was losing weight and eventually my body started attacking my hair follicles. I do not want this for you.

Please do not stress over this anymore, it is going to be hard and you are going to have some really good days, but you will have some really low days as well, like today. On your low days surround yourself with friends and family, go out somewhere to take your mind off things, or (as I had to do) have a good long cry. Get it out your system. But right now baby girl its time to worry about you and move on. I'm praying for you!!!

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I can't even imagine. Please as PP's have stated, go talk to an attorney. You need to make sure your daughters are taken care of & whatever you are entitled to you receive. I feel like there is so much more going on here & throughout the divorce process you will find out. Big hugs to you and please keep your chin up, this is not anything you did.

Please get a good lawyer and take care of yourself and the kids. You can't worry about helping him right now, just take care of you and the children.

So sorry.... sending you lots of love and hugs!! Just make sure you and your daughters are taken care off! Stay strong! <3

Please do not take his comments to heart...he probably doesn't know what to say or how to say it so its easier to make a general statement. Also, I am sure he was happy for that day as it was a celebration and perhaps exactly what he wanted. You have to realize that when dealing with depression and other mental health issues the person who has them sometime cannot verbalize their feelings, was, desires, or communicate effectively. I am not saying this is right or wrong it just is. I suffer from depression and have a very difficult time verbalizing my feelings. I also do not wish to hurt anyone so sometimes it is easier for me to be quite, and not rock the boat. Please do not take on his feelings. You may never get a reason for him leaving but do not take it personally. His leaving is not your fault. If he cannot or will not try to verbalize his feelings and the reasons for leaving then its not you...he obviously has issue that he needs to work thru. I am so sorry that you and the kids are going thru this.

I'm sorry, that is so hard. Take care of yourself and your LO's first. Keep in therapy, and it sounds like therapy for the kids might also be good. And yes, consult a lawyer.

Go into self preservation and mother bear mode. I've been there. You need to save yourself and your girls. Hopefully he can be helped