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Super August 2018

What Should i Do?

Kennyeh, on December 29, 2017 at 1:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24

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I was really hesitant to post this, but I honestly don’t know what to do.
So I posted yesterday of my makeupntrial, I also shared the same pics in the WhatsApp group chat with my BP ladies. I have a BM who is my older cousin (cousin C) and she hasn’t been a fan of some of my major decisions, including hair styles for the BP( we figured, settled and all came to an agreement on that ) BMs dresses( I had to put my foot down on that one which was settled in the end) and now MY makeup. When I posted the pic, in the group chat, the other girls had their opinions like, “pretty, eyebrows should be closer, looks nice...” but C said the foundation shade looked too light , which I agreed to looking at some of the pics and the “look was too simple for a bride.” I then replied and said jokingly “my friend ( I say that a lot when I’m trying to be funny), I think this is already too much makeup, lol but I like it “
This morning, I see that one of my other BMs directly replied her and said, “ but I think that’s the way that Kennyeh wants it”. Then after that, I see that cousin C “left” the group chat.
I don’t want to force anyone to do something that they don’t want to, I also dont see the point in “running” after someone or begging them to do something. I just really want to know if leaving the group chat means that she’s leaving the BP. Like literally ask, “ hey C, I see that you left th group chat, I just want to know if you are still interested in being a BM or naw?” I don’t care on why she left as she didn’t care to communicate with me before or after she left. I don’t care if she left because of me or because of the other girls. Should I care? Should I initiate a conversation ? Sorry for the long post.

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24 Comments

Latest activity by Meg, on December 29, 2017 at 6:42 PM

Master July 2017
A. L. · on December 29, 2017 at 1:15 PM
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What's the reason for the group chat to begin with?
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:21 PM
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To keep in touch since 3/6 of the BMs are in different states and they all really don’t know each other To well , to get their opinions, two of them are already married-so I ask them for advice, to update them on changes that includes them, we share funny memes, and I share major highlights of the planning process.

P.S. I do talk to them outside of the group chat about non wedding stuff, I don’t post in the group chat every day or even every week, I don’t demand too much from them, I’m paying for their hair, makeup is optional for them, we all decided on 2 hairstyles, I’m flexible with the dresses as long as they are the same length and color, they are picking their own shoes and jewelry..
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Super June 2018
FutureMrs.V · on December 29, 2017 at 1:22 PM
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I have a group chat with my girls also. I'd maybe ask her why she left, but not ask if she completely left the BP.
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Devoted November 2018
Shellycherea · on December 29, 2017 at 1:23 PM
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Just ask for her intent first in regard to leaving the group chat. Don't draw any conclusions immediately. This will also be a good opener to discuss your feelings.
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Master July 2017
A. L. · on December 29, 2017 at 1:23 PM
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To be honest, I would leave any group chat that had conversation about a wedding that was several months away.
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:25 PM
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Thanks for the reply! I can try that
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:26 PM
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Very true . I don’t want to draw conclusions or assume
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:26 PM
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Got it. Thanks for replying !
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on December 29, 2017 at 1:28 PM
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Personally, I hate group chats. You can ask about her leaving the chat, but I think you’re looking for drama if you ask about her still being a BM.
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Master October 2017
LillyBean17 · on December 29, 2017 at 1:28 PM
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I would also not be a part of a group chat initiated by the bride. If the BP decided it was the best way to communicate about events and what not, that's fine, but no one but you wants to talk about your wedding for months on end. I don't blame her for leaving.

I also think you should let her approach you. If she wants to leave, she will say something. You might be reading into something and making a mountain out of a mole hill. Give it time and see what she says about it.
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Devoted November 2018
Shellycherea · on December 29, 2017 at 1:29 PM
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Also, I think it's perfectly fine for you to have a group chat with your girls. I have one as well and it keeps everyone in the loop on what is happening. Good luck!
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Expert April 2018
lindabelcher · on December 29, 2017 at 1:32 PM
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I agree with this! Definitely just ask her why she left and go from there! Good luck!
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Super June 2018
FutureMrs.V · on December 29, 2017 at 1:33 PM
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Our group chat was to talk about dresses, and just to keep up with each other. One of my MOH read reviews and got sized and noticed the dresses ran small, so she told the BP. It's not posted in even monthly, just the big stuff gets talked about. Group chats are fine so long as they aren't exausted by the bride messaging the BP constantly.
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Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on December 29, 2017 at 1:35 PM
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You care, so much so you posted it. Maybe she doesn't need 50 texts a day about fairly insignificant things like makeup? That type of stuff can be wearing if you have other things going on in life.
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VIP March 2018
LuckyAK · on December 29, 2017 at 1:36 PM
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It’s much easier to have a group chat than to text them all individually about logistics in my opinion! I have one. I’ve also been a part of one as a BM and it wasn’t annoying or anything- and it gave me an easy way to communicate with other BMs who I otherwise wouldn’t know how to contact.
However, I wouldn’t mention it. If you bring it up, you’re inviting in the drama she wants to create. I always say “play dumb & happy”. If someone doesn’t directly address me with a problem, I don’t say anything or give it too much time or thought.
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:39 PM
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Here is my reply to a previous comment about the Cause of the chat and how it’s used.
—-To keep in touch since 3/6 of the BMs are in different states and they all really don’t know each other To well , to get their opinions, two of them are already married-so I ask them for advice, to update them on changes that includes them, we share funny memes, and I share major highlights of the process.

P.S. I do talk to them outside of the group chat about non wedding stuff, I don’t post in the group chat every day or even every week, I don’t demand too much from them, I’m paying for their hair, makeup is optional for them, we all decided on 2 hairstyles, I’m flexible with the dresses as long as they are the same length and color, they are picking their own shoes and jewelry..
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Super August 2018
Kennyeh · on December 29, 2017 at 1:40 PM
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That’s an option too . Thanks !
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Super September 2019
An · on December 29, 2017 at 1:41 PM
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I would only have the group chat for logistical things, if anything, and much closer to your date. If you want someone's opinion on something, ask them outside of the chat. She doesn't sound like someone you want opinions from anyway.
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Beginner April 2018
Ta'lor · on December 29, 2017 at 1:47 PM
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It is okay with having a group chat. Like you said its not like you are in the group chat everyday. I think you should ask her why she left the chat but don't assume that she wants to be out of the bridal party. She probably got upset because someone called her out/ stood up for you.
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VIP September 2018
BB-H · on December 29, 2017 at 2:12 PM
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I've been part of BP group chats in the past. I think it's a "know your crowd" thing. But OP I wouldn't bother her about it. Maybe it's just not a thing she wants to be a part of, and that's okay. Maybe just check in and chat with her like you normally would, at some point.
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