Tacky wedding suggestions from a Friend

You can't save everyone It's good that you tried though. Sucks you have to pay for drinks at her wedding.

Are you going? I hope so because I can't wait to hear about this shit show.

Just out of curiosity, how do y'all feel about BYOB? Sorry to piggyback off of your post.

IF your attending, at least you have heads up to bring a flask or something!

Yes we are going, I really appreciate her and her FH and I consider them great friends, just very cheap about their wedding. FH is on the edge about going because he doesn't want to eat pizza at a wedding.

She had this shock look on her face when I told her we are hosting the bar and really opted out of venues if they wouldn't allow us to provide our own alcohol since we knew otherwise it would break the bank.

When she mentioned about the honeymoon fund I told her "don't ever EVER say that in the WW forum, they will eat you alive" and she's like "Oh I know people think it's tacky, but I don't care". My jaw just dropped.

@kathryn BYOB as in you and FH (hosts) provide the alcohol at the venue or your guest bring it? BYOB would just seem chaotic and poor taste. Imagine walking into a ballroom/hall/venue with your 12 pk of beer?

BYOB is just ridiculous . That's cool for a tailgate or a picnic not to a wedding. People should be hosting their guests properly.

@kathryn we attended a BYOB wedding this past spring that was a bit of a drive from our house. We had to pack up a cooler to ensure our beer/wine stayed cold throughout the ceremony, and it made the event feel more like a casual house party rather than a wedding.

I would have much preferred wine or beer that wasn't my top choice, but was already at the reception rather than dealing with the logistics of bringing it ourselves!

Yeah, I agree! I couldn't imagine people bringing coolers to a wedding!

Yeah, I agree! I couldn't imagine people bringing coolers to a wedding!

I can't wait for my cousin's wedding in October. Her shower is this weekend, but no registry. The invitations asked for gift cards and info about their honeyfund.

Told me at mine that hers wasn't going to be "fancy". Implying that mine was (ballroom, open bar, catered food, a few decorations). This is going to turn out to be just as tacky as her sister's two years ago.

@kathryn yea, the cooler definitely did not go too well with our nice wedding attire

Whoa but wait, isn't the point of a wedding to have the couple get married and the guests celebrate the union between two people and two families? There are so many ways to do that, and if your friend wants to do it in a way that doesn't exactly conform to how you think it should go, it's totally her prerogative. I'm not condoning the honeyfund haha, but still I've seen plenty of people use it and cash bars and friendors and guess what, nobody died and they ended up married at the end of it all, mission accomplished. Who knows about her finances, or even simply what amount she and her FH are comfortable paying for a wedding.

I talked someone off the ledge for a honeyfund once. I told her that on principle it was rude and I would be offended if she asked me for money because they didn't "need" anything. Whelp. She got on the registry train but she copied mine almost verbatim.

@Catherine - If they can't afford to host their guests appropriately, they should cut the guest list or make sacrifices in other areas... "I can't afford it" is not a suitable to response.

I really believe that some people just don't know they're being tacky or rude. But really, Google it before you call it a good idea!

@JaimeLeigh, I completely understand that that is etiquette (which I equate with common sense), but I'm tired of people shaming couples (especially brides) for doing certain things. I do hope the couple seriously considers what they're doing - hosting a party and asking their guests to take on some of the burden instead of actually just being guests - but at the end of the day, if my friend consciously decides that a cash bar and a honeyfund makes the most sense for their circumstances, I am just happy that I have the option to come witness him or her getting married. Of course, these things need to be clearly communicated to guests beforehand so they have time to decide if they want to attend.