Sticking with etiquette and using the woman’s name

View Quoted Comment Um that's nice. Good for you. That wasn't the question at all and I can't imagine TAKING my husbands name so to each their own here. It's personal preference.

OP we did First names last names on ours and no titles. I hate and detest the mr and mrs his full name and many of my friends do too so this was the easiest option and they looked nice!

We did "Mr. & Mrs. John and Mary Smith". I don't care if other people don't mind "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith", it makes me feel staby when I see it, and I refuse to perpetuate that absolutely archaic tradition. It won't die if people keep using it.

View Quoted Comment Great point that had me thinking as I was addressing the invites. However, many are family and friends of H2B so I don't know the first names of the wives. So I address them Mr & Mrs.

View Quoted Comment Wow. Just wow.

View Quoted Comment Yep! To each their own...name. haha

I would personally be incredibly offended if I was given an invite saying Mr and Mrs John Smith. I am a person with a name. I am not just underneath my husband.

We did Mr and Mrs Smith. Mr and Mrs John Smith I hate, Mr and Mrs Smith is fine with me.

View Quoted Comment Like OP said, it’s not about being Mrs. Smith, it’s about being Mrs. John Smith. I am not Mrs. Husband’s name. That makes it sound like I am being absorbed into my husband. I know it’s a personal opinion but I am dreading the day that I get mail addressed to me and my husband and it ONLY uses my husband’s name.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! I feel the same way.

We used first names, so John & Mary Smith.

I loathe when the woman's name gets dropped.

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My fiance is taking MY name.

Nothing wrong with people doing what works for them.

I didn't take my husband's name in a traditional manner so we say Mr. FirstName LastName and Ms. Jess B de G.

I refused to call someone Mrs. John Smith and Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith felt too cumbersome, so I went with John and Mary Smith.

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I couldn't imagine changing my name to someone else's.

View Quoted Comment I already cleared that up with OP. I didn’t realize she meant Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. That is different. And I stated I agree with that.

I think a case-by-case basis is most appropriate. My older relatives? They would be annoyed if they received an invitation titled anything but "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". My friends wouldn't even give it a second thought if I titled their invitations "Nickname McGee and Sally Joe." Just know your crowd.

I get ridiculously offended when I see addressing a couple by just the husband's full name. I've instructed the officiant and the do on how we want to addressed post ceremony. I addressed all invitations as Mr. & Mrs. Last name unless they had different last names then I did Mr. Last name & Mrs. Last name because I couldn't fit it all on one line if I did first and last names.

View Quoted Comment I will soon be writing, spelling and pronouncing a Polish lay name for the rest of my life! They don't like vowels, lol.

We probably bucked tradition and did not include titles, unless they were doctors or clergy, and included first names and surnames (e.g. Mary and John Doe). I have a handful of unmarried guests and guests with hyphenated last names.