So it happened!!! Guest: "the RSVP doesn't include our kids....can we bring them??" ***UPDATE**

Wow, unbelievable, I have a frequently asked questions on our wedding website and clearly states that your kids are not invited, we love them yes but they're not invited.

I just gave into it. We will have a couple of kids there. LOL

I think you did fine, and even explained more than you needed to. You did everything you should have and could have to make it clear that the kids were not invited. That was ballsy of your cousin even to ask. (By ballsy, I mean rude!) I would merely have said, I'm sorry, but we are already at capacity, and leave it at that.

I think that was a great response and might just have to add this to my watchlist so I can refer back to it when I *know* I'll be dealing with this, too. How hard is it people?! Ugh! Let us know what you hear back from her!

Its not that I don't want kids there...I do have a small number of kids attending, but they are either part of the wedding party, or are clildren of out of town couples. We had to limit our guest list to immediate family (this cousin of mine was even a stretch as she is my second cousin) and really close friends that we see on a weekly basis. And....AND our friends that are not in serious relationships/married/engaged are not allowed plus ones. Thats how limited I am on space! I feel bad, I really do! I am a person that cringes when I have to possibly hurt someones feelings over a matter like this, and I thought I had my bases covered and wrote out instructions super clear...but I guess not. Does a person have to put the wording in flashing bright lights lol??

But...."Our kids are special, much more important than anyone else you know. We would never think to leave precious Suzy and her 5 siblings with a sitter, we never go anywhere without them. What kind of parents do you think we are? I know it costs $75 a plate for them to be there, but they only pick at their food so it shouldn't be a problem. They won't bother anyone, you won't even know they are there, they are absolutely perfect, just you wait and see!"

Oh my goodness Savanna! If that happens I may have to sick one of my bridesmaids on them then. it blowes my mind how people even have the nerve to ask!

Hahaha just you wait, the questions only get better with time. My mom's cousin asked: is it okay if my daughter's boyfriend goes too?

That is a very polite response and right to the point. I'm saving this response! I put a FAQ page on my wedding site and I did reference the question of inviting extra guest. Since we have a flower girl, I didn't think of doing the 'no kids' but we are limiting how many. I actually put on our reservation cards, "___ have been reserved for ___" And hoping that works...

I know people say you either invite all kids or no kids, but I think your immediate family, WP, and out of town guests merit some flexibility. It's just not up to anyone else who you invite, and I really don't think anyone should be slighted because their kids weren't invited.

You did have your bases covered. People just should not be so pushy or presumptive, or, frankly, sensitive about whether their kids can come when there are a few others there. Most adults know that weddings are expensive and limitations on the guest list are just part of the equation.

After our DW, we're having a lower key Sunday afternoon reception in our home town. One of my cousins, who I hear from maybe once or twice a year, actually sent me an email asking if he had the date wrong, b/c it's a Sunday, because, you know, "Saturday would accommodate us out of towners so much better." Yes, dear, we now change our date and our contract and pay 2-3x the cost (expensive area) just so you wouldn't be inconvenienced by taking an early Sunday evening flight. I really appreciate his wanting to be there, but come on. The invitation is the invitation.

OP, that was a great response! I think I'll save it also, lol.

@J&R S. - I've had guest say they might not make it because they didn't have enough notice to save for a flight and hotel and could we choose a much later date. Which I know can be alot. But we have been engaged since last september and the guest who are making these resquest were the people who found out as soon as we got engaged and decided a date. So no I cannot change the date for one or two people.

@ Mrs in September....I put the exact same wording as you did with the "___ have been reserved for ___" and it still didn't work sweetie, thats why I'm a little miffed ha ha!

GREAT response... im saving that!

I think you did fine in your response.

I think your response is very polite..remember though, not inviting kids or certain others in the household/relationship, this is part of the territory,.people will be perplexed and some offended, it's just the way it goes..hopefully you don't get too many more saying that to you! Good luck! :-)

@Alicia - well then haha I guess I will be in the same boat. I had one person invite themselves and I was so tired and stressed I gave in. My mom said next time let her know, she'd take care of it because she knows we just can't invite everyone.

Great response, polite and diplomatic! We want to limit the number of kids to immediate family and out of town guests. One of my cousins (who happens to also be my favorite cousin) wives heard and was so offended that I am sure I will end up giving in to their two kids coming. She is so the type that wouldn't go and wouldn't "let" my cousin go because her children (who are horribly behaved btw) were not invited.

I can't believe some of you have had guests ask you to push the date back! WOW!!!

Eh just say "Did you see their names when you tried to RSVP? NO, now STFU!"

lmao I am just kidding. Your reply is more than enough. Although they will probably be upset if they do go and see that you allowed some to bring their children. They will probably think "Oh so there wasn't enough room for my kids, but you made room for other's kid" so be prepared for that.