My BM's are making me feel like I dont have a say...

They should wear the dress you pick, having them pick their own is not every a really good idea.

I feel your pain. Two of my girls are a bit picky. I'm not so big on everyone wearing the same dress but I insisted that they all wear black dresses and I have the final say. My suggestion is when they are trying on dresses give strong opionions about what you like and what you dont like.

It's all about compromise- yes they agreed to be your BMs, but they are also grown women who don't want to be dressed up in something they don't like. Choose 4 or 5 dresses in the same color from DB and tell them to pick one of your options. This way everyone still matches and gets to have a figure-flattering dress.

You are the bride you get to pick the dress. Of course you keep in mind budget, body types, religious beliefs (such as those that must be covered in public etc) but at the end of the day they need to wear what you have chosen.

ETA: personally I am not a fan of the whole identical dresses but it's still the norm so I am not sure why someone would agree to be a BM and then act all surprised the bride would want matching dresses (at least within the USA).

Do you have a picture of the dress you picked out?

Yes, your "vision" as the bride is important, but you also want to make sure that your girls feel comfortable in what they are wearing. I have seen plenty of dresses that look great in magazines and online, but put it on a "normal" girl and it looks horrible. Certain fabrics and cuts are not forgiving and if the girls aren't comfortable it will show on their faces and in your wedding photos. You may also want to keep cost in mind. I am a Bride and a BM (for my sister's upcoming wedding) and what I had to pay for my BM dress was ridiculous...so I took that into consideration when I took my girls (including my sister) shopping last weekend for their dresses. We were able to get a dress that we all loved that fit everyone's budget.

Talk to your bridesmaids, and find out what they didn't like about the dress you picked, if their reasons are valid (cost, fit, etc...) be flexible with them. Go shopping with them and have them CONT

Agreed and now my "new" Maid of Honor is doing this to me, too. Considering I have the same "style" gown for myself and the flower girls (no other female attendants) AND I'm paying for it as a favor, I don't feel like she should be picking it out herself and she doesn't seem to like anything I pick. I keep hearing "not my style" but the wedding has its own style!

Try on the dress you picked out as well as some of their own suggestions. They might surprise you.

I added a picture of the Dress. The Cost isn't a problem and the dress is less than 200.00. They're both Curvy Girls and I know they worry about their weight. I'm just feel like they liked the dress when I showed it to them now they're both saying that they're too fat to wear a strapless dress. it's just frustrating to me. i want them to feel pretty i guess i'm just feeling like they don't trust my judgement.

Did you ask their budget? $200 is still kind of a lot.

I'm in the "let them pick their own dress" camp. My BMs are wearing mismatched cocktail dresses of their choice in the same general color. I think they're going to look fantastic.

I do think they should wear what you envision, but you also have to be sensitive towards how they feel in the dress. I do think it's silly that someone would say "no" to a dress just b/c it's strapless without trying it on first. Strapless can actually be very flattering if they have the right bra. Are they worried about covering their arms or what?

I'm not fat, and I hate strapless. (8 months pregnant and I weigh 152)

When I'm NOT pregnant I have DD boobs..... you don't want to know what they are now. I can't stand trying to find a strapless bra in my size, they are Way to expensive in my size, and the dress always feels like it is falling down, no matter HOW well the seamstress takes the dress in.

I agree with the other ladies. Maybe take them shopping and see if you can all find a dress that you all agree on. Let them try on some and you pick out some. As Sara said, they might surprise you.

*and like kris said, $200 is a lot... especially when you need to add on alterations. The expense for your bachelorette party and bridal shower. Hotel.

@Kris s. I asked them how they felt about the price of this dress. all the girls said they were fine with it. I'm not Sure what it is about strapless w/them, but I'm not sure if they're insecure about their arms or something. My colors are Black and White with Pokka Dots as an accent print(the shoes will be Black & white pokka dot shoes)

I do want them to wear a Cocktail type of dress. I guess I should just wait and see what they come up with and go from there.

Hayley, I'm an F cup. I swear by this bra. It's pricey but it has changed my life and how I shop for clothes. No joke.

I'm actually wearing one right now under a regular t-shirt. Sucker is amazing.

http://www.amazon.com/Prima-Donna-Satin-Strapless-016-1331/dp/B001JF0IUC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327522434&sr=8-1

Darlene if you have a certain vision I think it's fine if you ask them to at least try something on with an open mind. Sometimes I'm surprised at what looks good on me and what doesn't. Everybody's body, proportions and comfort levels are different.

I would just say try as best you can to compromise with them....you don't want pouty faces in your wedding photos.

Omg! i would slap a bride if she was going to make me pay $200 dollars for a dress that I am only going to wear for 8 hrs. That's $25/hr!

I think asking a BM to pay more than $120 for a dress is just ridic. I know that prices are different in different areas. But there are ways around paying that much for a dress. Maybe they lied to you because they didnt want to hurt your feelings about the dress? And now that dress shopping is actually approaching they are voicing their opinions.

Also, I don't think the waistline of this dress if very flattering. I can only imagine how it looks from the side. It looks cute on the model, but if you have any girls over a size 4 I would look for a different silhouette.

I have been a BM 5 times and only once have I had to wear a dress I absolutely hated and you can tell in all our faces in the wedding pictures.

Thanks Ladies, I will keep that in mind. Thanks everyone for the advice.

It's your day so it should be the dress YOU want. I stood up in weddings and I did not like the dress and it did not fit my "body type" but as a bridesmaid they have to remember it is YOUR day and you want things to be a certain way. They should respect that.

I don't think $200 is terrible if the girls have agreed to that. If they say it's fine but then get ticked after the fact, it's kind of their fault IMO.

Darlene I'm sure you'll find something everyone can agree on. DB, Alfred Angelo, and several designers on the Dessy Group website make coordinating dresses in the same fabric if you want to just pick a fabric and let them at it.

If you want black, you could always check department stores and boutiques for a dress you love, and add a sash or fabric flower for that pop of color. I was in one wedding where the bride found our dresses at White House Black Market. She had someone at the corporate office help us out with finding sizes and getting free shipping, I'm pretty sure we even got a discount. Plus I have actually worn it again.

Maybe you can have them search for dresses they like, get your list then try them all on. I had a dress picked out and in the end it looked terrible. After trying on some more dresses we found one that will fit all my girls nicely. It is your wedding and you do get the final say. I thought 200 was expensive but that's what my girls paid and they are fine with it.

Check out these pretty black dresses at Nordstrom. Monique Lhuillier also sells a line of BM dresses there, and they're well within your budget. Just more ideas for you.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/suzi-chin-for-maggy-boutique-ruffled-cotton-blend-dress/3096535?origin=category&resultback=348

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/maggy-london-side-bow-stretch-satin-sheath-dress/3084807?origin=category&resultback=2041

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/xscape-ruffle-trim-taffeta-sheath-dress/3181256?origin=category&resultback=6557

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/ml-monique-lhuillier-bridesmaids-strapless-ruched-cationic-chiffon-dress-nordstrom-exclusive/3138047?origin=category&resultback=7118

Thank you Kris S. =)