Invite Question

That would be my interpretation... sounds like a really crappy thing to do to guests though!

I would assume if theree is no information as too dinner for you, it is private meaning without you. I'd come at 7pm for the party (as it sounds)

I would assume it means you are not invited to the dinner. So I assume it means you are invited to the ceremony, then you go out to dinner by yourself, then there is a party with minimal refreshments. I would stay home.

That sounds weird. I would shoot a text for verification

Sounds like a tiered reception where they don’t invite everyone so they don’t have to pay for food then invite everyone to basically bring them a present and come dance. It’s incredibly rude. if it’s a close friend or family you could always ask for clarification

And this is why a tiered reception is a bad idea. No matter how clear you think you have made it, you have not.

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That's what I got from the post.

OP, if it were me, I would RSVP declining the invitation.

I agree with previous posters, it seems that you are not invited to the dinner but expected for the party, even though its out of town.

I personally would decline. :-| kind of messed up thing to do to the guests

It’s weird that they would have you come out of town and not be invited to the dinner... however i do understand the concept. It gets expensive to pay for everyone but they would like to still invite you to share the day with them and may have limited money to pay for food. If they are not close friends or family i would decline

I’ve never even heard of that before. That seems rude to do. Why would they even mention the private dinner on the invite if you’re not invited? Why not, “7pm reception to follow” and just leave a gap? I have been to a wedding with a private ceremony with a reception for everyone after. It was due to the brides sister having terminal cancer and they only wanted the immediate family present due to her health and how she was feeling at the time. She was at the ceremony and then left to go home and rest. So, it was very understandable. This just seems rude, like there’s a “VIP guest list” or something.

I would not travel for that. If it was I. Town I may go to reception with a small gift 15 or 20 bucks. But I would not travel for it.

View Quoted Comment I get why people do that.

That is pretty rude. That's taking the commonly known "B list" to a whole new level. Good grief. This is a great example of what not to do.

View Quoted Comment It’s called a tiered wedding.

I’d just decline. That’s so obnoxiously rude.

I would say yes. It could be that the couple could be saving money by not serving a dinner to their guests but instead having a desert bar only (this is becoming more common because of the cost of meals and service). This also allows the couple to spend some time alone together after the ceremony instead of rushing off to a reception. They may have noted it in the invitation so that you, as their guest, don't come to the reception starving and expecting a meal that isn't there. They still invited you and still want you to be part of their moment!!

If you wanted to confirm, reach out to the couple or a close family member of the couple.

This is in very poor taste. I don’t think it’s fair to exclude the guests who have traveled to get to your wedding from anything.

A cocktail reception that included all guests would have gone over as more appropriate than this.

I wouldn’t go to something like this.

There are better ways to save money. I can’t imagine sending out invitations that say “come all the way here to see my wedding, then go feed yourself, then bring me a gift at my party later.

Yup, it's a tiered wedding and you are not invited to dinner. SO so so gross. You're important enough to come to the ceremony and give a gift but not important enough for them to feed you. I would no longer be speaking to that bride and groom.

You're not invited to dinner and it's incredibly rude.