In lieu of favors

Before anyone gives any money to anything, they should check out charity watch or one of the other rating sites that take into account administrative and advertising costs. You should be looking for a charity that gives most of its money to the actual cause.

Donating to a charity in the guests' names isn't a favor.

They don't get to write it off on their taxes.

A friend of mine who did this had little cards (like the size of name escort cards) at the top of each plate that said they donated money to charity instead of favors...the donations were to heart health organizations, as heart disease affected their parents...I thought it was really sweet actually!

I was thinking more about this and I came up with an analogy. Imagine you meet a friend for drinks on your birthday, and they say this

"Karen, meet my friend Joe. I think Joe is pretty neat. Don't you think Joe is neat? I considered buying you a birthday present, but I think Joe deserves a present more than you do so I gave him the money instead. Aren't Joe and I neat? I'm so generous. You're welcome!"

How would that feel? Because that is pretty much what you are doing to your guests.

I don't think its a great idea. Just donate privately to charity. It comes across as a humblebrag as PP's have said. The other consideration is that not everyone may agree with your charity of choice, as some can be controversial.

Damn. Out of all the things to get angry about in this world, if you get upset about someone donating to charity and putting a sign out, your life is probably going to be a bit of a bummer.

Obviously a new element comes into play if you're donating to something controversial. But if it's like "Help Fluffy Animals/Sick Children," I think you're fine. 99% of your guests will say "How lovely! She saved a fluffy bunny!!" and the 1% of negative nancies will be like "How self-important. Trying to donate and make themselves look good. I hate that charity. Blah blah." You can never please the second type of person anyhow.

ETA: BTW people have given gifts to charity on my behalf since I was 10 years old (e.g., in honor of your 10th birthday, we donated mosquito netting and a sheep to a family in Tanzania). Even at 10, I've never been anything but thrilled about it.

It's your wedding do exactly what you want

Sorry to bump this up, just needed to address this question...

@FMR HSUS is NOT affiliated with any animal shelter, their ads are SO deceptive. Less than half a percent of their money goes to shelters. They do things like come in fund raising after natural disasters and NOT putting that money where their mouth is (they raised 34 million dollars for hurricane Katrina victims and spent only $7m of that on what they promised...meanwhile their ads everywhere were effective siphoning donations away from smaller rescues that were actually on the front lines.)

I could go on, but I'll just link this article and say that I'm very careful about researching my charities and that this organization flies in the face of everything I feel is good about animal rescue. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/douglas-anthony-cooper/humane-society_b_1943902.html

Back in the mid-2000s I went to a wedding where the couple had made donations in each guest's name to Amnesty International, with the would-be favor a candle with a little Amnesty tag. I was fine with it and thought it a nice touch. Granted this was in a country where wedding favors beyond Jordan almonds aren't really a thing (but those almonds really are a key wedding thing).

Whenever I hear of charity donations in lieu of gifts, I always think of the gag on Seinfeld where for Christmas George gives his co-workers certificates to "The Human Fund: Money for People."

If you want to donate, just donate and skip the favors. But don't advertise it. Charity is not neutral, and there are a lot of charities I would never want a donation made in my name to. I'm not talking fluffy animals or anything, but I've attended an event (not a wedding) where we were told a donation had been made on our behalfs to an organization dedicated to funding anti-choice efforts. I walked out, and I'd probably have done the same if it HAD been a wedding.