In lieu of favors

I always think it is weird when I see this. Honestly when I have went to weddings where favors weren't given I didn't even notice. Where I have seen these signs it always makes me think its like you're trying to brag you donated money to a charity. If you want to donate go ahead and skip favors, but I don't think a sign is needed to explain yourself.

I would just skip the favors and donate privately after the wedding. You don't need to make a big show for your guests about your charity.

I agree with A.L., just donate to the charity, skip the favors. While I don't see it as bragging, it's weird IMO to announce it like, "hey, you were supposed to get a gift, but we gave it to charity instead, aren't you glad we did? Oh wait, you had no choice in that situation did you?"

If you do not want to give favors, do not give favors. If you want to donate to a charity, donate to a charity. These two things are not synonymous. I do not think that it needs to be broadcasted and noted by everyone who attends your wedding. It can come across as attention grabby.

We were thinking of doing the same thing. My mother passed away of breast cancer, so on the table with family photos, I was going to put a very small sign that says "in lieu of favors, we have made a donation to (breast cancer research organization) in honor of our guests".

If you're going to donate, go ahead. Don't humblebrag about your donation.

Also, the highest form of giving is anonymously to the donee, and without expectation of acknowledgement for one's gift.

I would actually find it really annoying if a person donated to a charity in my name/honor (with me finding out after the fact). What if I didn't agree with the mission of the charity?

I agree with PPs. Donating to a charity seems like a weird "favor". It isn't like the guests got to have a say in the charity that you donated to on their behalf... Favors aren't necessary - so I would just skip them!

@Mallory - I do think that if the purpose is to honor someone, I don't think that would be weird - instead I would find it rather touching.

Definitely don't do this.

I am a huge proponent of donating to charity. I donate to charity. I have done fundraising for charity. I volunteer with charities. I am pro charity!

But what you are proposing is not okay. Favors are optional little gifts given to your guests. It is in no way a gift to ME as a guest that you gave some of YOUR money to a third party. You are basically telling your guests "I had the funds to buy you something and I considered doing it but then decided not to."

Plus, not everyone supports every charity. Some charities have a terrible record of squandering donated funds. Some charities support beliefs or actions that some of your guests might find morally repugnant.

Not to mention, of course, that donating to charity and bragging about it is disgustingly sanctimonious.

Ugh no. I don't get why people do this.. listen no one cares about favors.. best ones are edibles and even those often get left behind. This is a wedding not a charity event.. don't donate the money to charity and make it a big deal at your wedding.. it just makes you look like you want a pat on the back for being a good person. People who help don't need to announce it at their wedding.

Also lots of people have different opinions on charities some they believe in some they don't

Yeah, i'm not a fan of this. please donate money wherever you want to donate, but the signs announcing it always rub me the wrong way.

A donation is not 'in lieu of favors", which are not needed anyway.

As PP have written; donate, often and big, but don't make signs for the wedding.For starters,it's flat out impossible to find a charity everyone will support, either for their philosophy or the way they run their administration.

If you want to donate to rescues, health causes, environmental funds; do it. We probably need this more now than ever.

But keep it to yourself.

I'm not a fan of the donation favors . It makes it seem like your forcing your guest to donate to a organization they might not like or etc. Instead of favors we are doing ice cream sandwich bar during the cake cutting service.

Truthfully I don't love this. I'd rather the person just do an edible favor or something.

If they want to donate to a charity, great but this isn't the right occasion imo

I don't think people care very much about favors in general so if you don't give favors, that's fine.

I do think the donation in lieu of favors can come off as a humble brag, so I'd just skip favors and make a donation without saying anything.

Donations are always a nice touch. It's just that you don't normally go around saying "Pat us on the back, we gave money to the Cancer Society instead of getting you a gift."

Favors are completely unnecessary. If you would rather use that money for charity, do so. Just no need to tell everyone.

Just as an example of why this might not be z thing to advertise....I love animals and animal shelters. I work in a shelter and I'm passionate about it. I HATE the Humane Society of the United States. Utter loathing. If I found out someone had donated to them in my name I would be beyond angry, and I would likely never speak to that person again. Tread very carefully when donating in other people's name.

I can't remember what the favors were at any wedding I've been to. Just skip it, donate if you'd like.

@Orchids--I'm curious, what turned you off about the Humane Society? I'm not knowledgeable on this, but I like to keep a mental list of charities that aren't as charitable as you're led to believe!

Before anyone gives any money to anything, they should check out charity watch or one of the other rating sites that take into account administrative and advertising costs. You should be looking for a charity that gives most of its money to the actual cause.