How to send out a certain kind of invitation

Allie, why do you want it a secret?

Why does it have to be a secret?

Not sure why you're worried about keeping it a secret. Are you concerned about hurt feelings of those who aren't invited?

There is no reason to do anything odd. Just send an invitation to those who will be going on the cruise.

Then, you send a separate invitation to everyone who is invite to the reception, the following week. You need to send those reception invitations out in advance and make sure that it reflects a reception only, not a ceremony.

Here is an example: https://www.invitationsbydawn.com/content/reception-only-invitation-wording/

We're also doing a ceremony then reception party except we're not keeping our wedding a secret. We're doing the ceremony with our parents, grandparents, and wedding party and we just put private ceremony on our invitations.

I don't understand how you could keep it a secret, but expect people to RSVP to a reception that is less than a week later.

You're definitely not going to be able to keep it a secret if your reception is supposed to be the next week.

Well...One, we both have large families who say they will do something, and then won’t...and we don’t want to have their word that they can make it out to the cruise to only say they can’t and have their spot locked in and already paid for. 2nd there are some very religious family members who say it has to be a church wedding or it doesn’t count lol and we don’t want that. So better to just not tell them what we are doing. 3rd we want it to be small and simple and mostly have it done with and tell people when we come home that we actually got married and it’s done and over with and no one can do anything about it! Lol

Sorry, I don't think that's going to work for you.

I don't think that's a good way to approach it. You should definitely tell them it's reception only ahead of time

Then how are you going to invite people to the reception? Say it's a party youre hosting and then whten they arrive, SURPRISE! IT'S A WEDDING RECEPTION! ????

Uh, sounds like you just are going to extreme lengths to avoid conflict, and that usually backfires.

I know opinionated family can be difficult. You don't have to engage in detailed conversations about it with them, you just have to be firm in your decision.

But you can't expect your loved ones to keep such a big secret just so you don't have to deal with people.

This is far too extra for me.

Sounds like a big bucket of complicated to me.

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to be honest with family and friends and deal with any fallout.

I am confused. If those invited on the cruise do not show, too bad. They pre-paid for the cruise, so you are not out any money.

Also, if you have family members who do not approve of marriages that do not happen in a church, what will change their minds when the are invited to your reception? Why will they miraculously change their opinion of the ceremony, if you do not tell them until after the fact?

This is a train wreck waiting to happen, IMHO.

How do you plan to keep the marriage a secret from those invited only to the reception? You have to send out invitations before the actual wedding on the cruise. What are you going to pretend you are inviting the reception guests to?

Are you paying for the cruise for everyone? If not, and people don't show, the financial loss is theirs and of no concern to you. If you plan to pay for everyone, I would change your plans.

Anyone who see's all these people going on the same cruise is going to clue in. Decent sized groups of random people don't normally up and decide to travel together.

You're a big girl, you can decide who you want invited and who you don't without being deceitful.

People will be more hurt to be lied to than not invited, I guarantee you that much.

This is not a good plan, and may be fodder for hurt feelings.

This is beyond confusing. Push the reception out further. You can have your "secret wedding" and then when you're back include a photo and say "surprise we eloped! Come celebrate" and then have a card of info about where the reception will be.

You can not invite people to a "wedding" and then show up and be like "JOKES IM ALREADY MARRIED" that's rude and people will be pissed and if i saw you got married on social media but then your "wedding/reception" was in 6 days i would be annoyed and cancel.