Handling issues with venue

The supposed “heated barn” consisted of one space heater. We literally had family in friends wearing COATS the entire time, and most left early due to how cold they were. 2.) The wife/owner cut in front of guests to fix herself a plate of food from the catering buffet and then was seen fixing two huge plates and taking them to their home. A very close friend of ours told me that she bluntly told them we had the worst wedding food she had ever had! 3.) We were under the impression that that they would have helpers at the wedding. When the ceremony was over she had our groomsmen and some guests move pews out of the barn before we started the reception. Mind you, she didn’t ask...she told them they had to.

I’ve messaged her once about the issues. I’m not a confrontational person so it’s hard for me to stand up for myself. She of course apologized and tried brown nosing her way out of it. But the more I keep hearing my friends and family talk about the negativity the more upset I get. My mother thinks I should demand at least my deposit back. My wedding day was a complete disappointment.

How would you handle this?

Holy... yikes. That sounds absolutely horrible. I'm not sure how I would. Maybe ask for a portion back? It wasn't worth what you paid and they treated you and the guests kind of poorly throughout the event. Unbelievable. If you had wedding insurance I'd have them be all over this

Krysta I saw so many articles suggesting wedding insurance and never once thought I would seriously need it. What’s even more crazy is the number of people I know that got married at the same venue and had no complaints. I almost want to say forget it and just let it be, but then part of me feels so ripped off and angry. It’s frustrating

Did you put any of the payment on a credit card? If so, you might be able to file a dispute. In addition to trying to recoup your funds:

1) Write appropriate reviews on wedding websites such as this one

2) Get in touch with local media. If one of your area news stations has some sort of "I-Team" segment, they'd be all into this. I suggest @-replying reporters on social media to get their attention (which will also give the extra benefit of immediate negative exposure for the venue).

Danielle we paid in cash

My husband basically suggested the same thing. He said write reviews and blast them on social media. I’m thinking about requesting a partial refund and threatening the negative exposure against them if they refuse. I just don’t do well with these types of situations

Ohhhhh my goodness.

I totally agree about reviews to help others and maybe get their attention, HOWEVER...I recently read an article (I think on Offbeat Bride) where a vendor actually sued for libel based on the contents of a review a bride left on one of these types of websites. Luckily they were able to get them to drop it once they deleted the review, but apparently this happens more than people realize.

I am so sorry you had to deal with that garbage. I second @Danielle on the CC - if you put anything on a CC, you can try disputing it that way. Your financial institution will ask if you contacted the vendor first, so keep that in mind, but it's always there as an option in your back pocket.

ETA didn't see your comment above re: paying in cash.

I'm so sorry that your wedding wasn't what you thought it would be.

Future brides, there's a lesson to be learned here- assume nothing! Ask questions! Is there heat and what type? Will we have help from employees? Etc.. everything should be in writing and read reviews before you sign.

Ugh, I'm so sad that this happened to you.

That sounds horrible! I'm not a confrontational person, either. I would keep emailing until you get something.

Margarita, YES!!! I am trying to compile pictures and docs now to hopefully help if we do decide to pursue further action, sadly I have little to use. They recently changed some information on their page (pretty much after our wedding) so it doesnt say what it said when we first booked with them. My biggest suggestions are wedding insurance, contracts or written agreements for EVERYTHING!!!

If I were you, I would ask for a refund, at the very least. That's absolutely ridiculous that they told you the barn was heated and it wasn't. That could've killed a sick person! I would also make it a point, maybe after you know whether they will give you any money back or not, to post bad reviews about them everywhere! So, it doesn't happen to anyone else. Also, to be sued for libel, they have to prove that what you said wasn't true. Sounds like you have plenty of witnesses!

Re: paying in cash-- :-(

As for the libel issue, that's a fair point, although it sounds as if there are enough witnesses to corroborate your story. If, @OP, you are worried about getting sued for libel, the news media route would be a safe bet. The necessary rigor of journalistic reporting is meant in part as a precaution against libel suits and even if the venue would try something, news outlets have libel insurance for this very purpose.

If you wanna go hardcore legal you could sue for breach of contract (barn not heated, no helpers, etc). If it wasn't in the contract its difficult to say how to prove that.

You could also sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

I think before jumping off the deep end here, it is important to keep the issue between you and the venue. Give the. A chance to makr things right. Be clear to what your expectations were, what happened that didn't meet expectations, how it impacted your wedding, and finish up by saying clearly what you expect in resolution of this. I think it would be good to leave reviews regardless jist so future couples can make informed choices, but wait until after youve emailed them (of course, do it in writing) and include whatever resolution you come to in your review.

@soontob hit the nail on the head. Couldn't have said it better.

At least as for your money back for the 3 plates of food she helped herself to! I agree that sounds horrible and I would try asking for some money back and I would use the negative reviews to try and persuade them. If they are unwilling put negative reviews up everywhere, just make sure you have a contract and witnesses to back it up.

Wedding insurance doesn't work for this situation. The only thing that can is your contract. Read it thoroughly .. does it mention how the space is heated? Does it say that they would be fully responsible for cleanup (because you said you were under the impression).

Confrontational or not, you gave money out of your pocket so you make sure you get what you paid for.

@OliviaP: plenty of news stations (especially in smaller markets) cover stories in which a customer is apparently fleeced by a business. The news team usually frames the story as a consumer info/human interest story. Bonus points if the publicity results in the customer getting money back.

I've worked in media for more than 12 years, so I would hope I have a good idea of what constitutes a news story.

Sorry this happened on you on your big day. Somethings can't be let go, especially with the amount of money that was given. I hope you find a way to deal with this, that suits you best.

We can all review them for you and ruin their business

@Sarah: Eh, I'd submit the story tip and see what happens. Perhaps the sheer act of a local news outlet would get the vendor to stand up and take notice.