Guest listing in hard :(

Oh don't worry you're not alone! I have like 15 cousins, not to mention spouses, I had to slash, and right when I think our list is finalized FH pulls some random friend out to add. Oy!!

FMIL tonight dropped 2 names that she told them to "put it on the calendar". These 2 names were not on the list (at least I've met them...). Granted, FILs are helping to pay and FH says these 2 are the only ones she asked his sister to invite to her wedding, but still! I have too many cousins that aren't "distant" and they have too many kids!! We already decided no kids (that cut the original list by 56!) We have too many friends! We can't afford to feed this many people! I know we'll figure it out but this wedding stuff is hard!

We had to cut most of my family to make room for my husband's friends. I just ran into one of Dh's old friends and she CUSSED ME OUT for not inviting her and her family!!! She is the LAST person on earth I would have imagined would say anything, period! I'm still in shock! She called me a fucking bitch!!! Also, we had 10 no shows, and five surprise STRANGERS at our wedding!! If I ever get married again, I'm just going to invite the whole damn town and serve Ramen! Because apparently, weddings make people crazy!

Yes, that is the hardest thing to do. how do you choose. It's certainly nerve wrecking trying to cut the list.

Our max is 30 -- we still have about 34.. LOL I don't know how to cut those others.

I feel you, I'm over inviting by 20 because at the last minute "OH THEY HAVE TO COME" lol

We were over by 30 and thankfully we have 34 declines. You will definitely have declines to probably get you back to your numbers. I have never heard of a wedding that had 100% acceptance so stay calm ladies and don't stress.

I feel you. I was trying to keep my original list around 125 and it jumped up to 148. After rsvps I'm down to around 120 so it all worked out I guess.

I feel you. I have a bunch of (first) cousins I had to cut from my list. I'm inviting all my first cousins on my mom's side, because that is about 8 people including spouses. On my dad's side, it's about 35 people. My my and stepmom both said it's fine if I only invite 3 cousins (with their husbands of course) from my dad's side but I feel weird about it because on his side of the family, everyone gets invited and everyone goes to everything.

Yikes! But don't stress it too bad. I agree with Andrea, weddings never have a 100% acceptance rate.

Wish you the best!

Carmen

It's really hard when you both have huge families. We had 58 kids, @SoonToBeMrsP! Logistically, a lot of them had to go. I felt bad for a second because I love all my kids but we just couldn't afford it. We only have our nieces, nephews and godchildren with 4 teenaged cousins that are helping out with programs and "security" (my sixteen year old cousin has deemed himself head of security. That boy's insane. lol). That was still 15! Good luck with everything, though! It's hard, but it'll all work out.

FH and I decided we wanted to keep the guest list at 150. Then, we realized 150 was not happening so we said 175. We're at 220 after cutting a lot of my friends and family friends. I want to scream.

Our limit was 174. We shaved that list a LOT, but FH kept adding people anyway. Those people ended up RSVPing no. In fact, only 100 people are coming.

It should be fine.

If it makes you feel better, our guest list went from 55 last September to 184 now.

I want 100-120 people. The original original list was around 120. Our guest list is currently around 140. I know when we go to send out invites it will grow as things will change between August (when we sent STDs) and March. We have some people we are on the fence about and I'm sure some of them will get added. My guess is we will probably invite closer to 150.

My biggest guideline when cutting non-family members was if my only real interaction with them anymore was by Facebook. Of course FH isnt following the same guidelines and I honestly don't know why he's inviting half of these "friends" who he hasn't seen in 3+ years but hey lol

@jacqui do you have something in mind you're going to say if the cousin thing it comes up? I'm in the same boat, (7 on my moms side, 32 on my dad's) and I hate it. Granted, some of the cut cousins didn't invite me to their weddings. I rarely see them (3 states away) and I highly doubt they'd come, especially since we aren't having kids, but I still want them to, budget just doesn't allow

Gaaaah, Elizabeth! lol That kind of makes me feel better and anxious at the same time!

My Mom made a list for her third (family and their friends), we made a list for our third (friends), and the numbers were roughly the same - in the 83 to 85 range. We then gave the in laws the same amount. Oddly enough, only 5 of the ILs side said no, and 18 of my parent's side said no, and they hosted, but at least the numbers started out even.

We invited no one under 21, with the exception of 1 bridesmaid. That caused a family grudge, that will last a lifetime, because of some entitled relatives thought their 9 and 12 years old should be there, when I've only met them twice, and my parents don't even exchange Xmas cards with them.

@Lizzy ...no I haven't figured out what to say yet. I am still hoping to figure out a way to add them. I'm trying to figure out what I can cut so I can put some extra money towards the guest list. I look at it every week when I put money into my wedding account.

If I can't add them, then I probably will cut the 3 cousins who I was planning to invite just because I feel better about all-or-none.

I do have a cousin who's getting married in November, and based on her daily facebook posts I know I'm not getting invited to hers. That helped me feel a little better about it, but not much. If I see from her photos in November that she invited some of our cousins, then I will probably be ok.

I wonder if it would be rude to ask her if she did invite any of the family or not and see how she answers.

FH is supposed to go over the guest list with his mom. We can only have 180 at our venue but our list is way over. His side has twice the amount of people listed than my family. I wish him luck his mom is used to getting her way! I do not want to be at that meeting lol.