First, the rehearsal, then the dinner. Now here's the ceremony and reception. . . .

The bride calls her mother, but the call goes straight to voicemail. She then calls her grandmother. Same thing. We continue to wait (the bride will not start the ceremony without both of them) when they finally show up at 12:00P. Yes ladies, an hour late! This is when the BM find out the mother has decided we will carry a bouquet of roses, calla lillis and peonies. I'm sure at this time of the morning, these came from the DTLA Flower District. The mother also advised us that she would prefer we leave our phones in our cars during the reception. Which by the way all of us had already done. Okay, so we start the ceremony.

Grandma and mom DEMAND to go down first and no one can come down the aisle until they take their seat. I don't know where they found this soloist, but she butchered Amazing Grace. She added all that extra and unnecessary Oh's and Ah's. From there everything went on without a hitch. Then it was time for the couple to jump the broom to Jesus Take the Wheel. IMO, the lyrics are so inappropriate for a wedding. As you very well know, pictures took longer than needed (just under 2 hours) Mom and Grandma were demanding, difficult and complaining about everything. The couple wanted to get pictures in a nearby park, but per Grandma, it's overcast the pictures aren't going to look good. I whispered to the groom they can take those at a later time.

When we arrived at the reception, we again had to wait for mom and grandma. They had to have their own car which the bride had to pay for. So again, grandma and mom are announced first and we are not allowed into the reception until they take their seat. When we enter into the reception, that's when we notice that there is no longer a sweetheart table and our SO are all seating at a table. As of last night, the BP would have the opportunity to sit with our spouses. I guess another veto. The couple had a dry reception (which by the way a brunch reception is the perfect time for one) The menu consisted of appetizers, finger foods, cheese, breads, crackers, fruits and vegetables. And you guessed it, grandma complained about that. Per grandma (very loudly) "Back in the day, black folks served their guests real food. Not this stuff white people serve" The bride did not look happy at all.

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I noticed out of the corner of my eye grandma talking to the DJ. After she left, he looked very confused. One of the GM went over and asked what was going on. He said she told him he couldn't play in secular songs. Only songs about Jesus. He then went to the groom and told him. The groom told the DJ he could play whatever he liked as long as there was no foul language.

The couple never got a chance to cut their cake because several of the guests were not watching their children who were playing and hit one of the legs of the table. Before anyone could even take a step towards the cake, it was on the floor completely smashed. Oh, did I mention that the cake was on the table with ALL of the desserts? The cake, every pie, brownie, cupcake and cookie was on the floor. The look on the bride's face just broke my heart.

The reception ended at 5P and could not have ended sooner for the bride. As we were leaving, I saw her crying about everything. I went to her and told her it was not as bad as it seemed. I told her in time, you will look back on all this and laugh at how ridiculous some people behaved. She looked me in the eye and said, "Why? Why can't I stand up to them?" I told her, they're your people. You love them no matter what. However, you have to start putting your needs ahead of theirs and stop worrying about them being mad at you. They don't care when you're mad at them. I then told her to go home and "enjoy" her husband. We laughed.

The moral of this debacle:

Have the wedding you want. Not the one someone says you should have.

What the actual fuck

OMG mortifying

I would be livid.

The part when I read that the cake smashed my heart completely dropped. Poor bride I really hope your friend is okay. I'm glad you gave her words of encouragement

I would have killed somebody..

Poor woman. i'm glad you were able to have a moment with her before she left. I think the worst part was the cake table. The ceremony starting late is pretty bad, but at least it gave them a chance to get some pictures and their first look. You're a good friend, I'm glad you could be there for her at least.

Wow! I thought after all Grandma Lee did with pre-wedding events that her wedding would be okay! Poor thing, but at least she REALIZED that she needs to start standing up for herself. Thanks for keeping us posted with details.

I'm having date night with FH right now and had to sneak away to read this..and it's worth the really babe are you serious- face he's giving me.WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!! Why did she not say something..anything...On one hand I feel bad for her on the other hand you're a grown woman implement the word NO into your vocabulary.Its sad that she will have horrible memories about HER day.And mom and grandma need to take a fucking chill pill.I see no mention of grandad or a dad they both sound like they need to be laid.And newsflash grandma not every black person is fond of high cholesterol and diabetes.Eating healthy is not a white thing..those people need a reality check.....the real victim is the groom...that poor man.

You are such a good friend.

I had date night also and FH got mad that I kept checking to hear the update on this. Even he was upset about the cake. @nay

Damn after their behavior last night they had the balls to show up 1 hour late to the wedding? WTF I would have started without them. That is beyond ridiculous. She needs to tell both of them off. I feel so bad for her that they turned it into a shit show and then even her cake got ruined.

Wow! This is like every brides nightmare!!! Hopefully her pics are sooo amazing thats she laughs the rest of it off.

Wow, I have been following this all day, and that is probably one of the worst wedding stories I've ever heard. I kind of give the bride props for suffering through it all day though. The only thing that could have been worse would have been a complete meltdown in front of everyone...She should make her mom and grandma pay for her honeymoon, and pick something very far away and expensive.

I missed your updates about dinner and , but I'm sorry this thing didn't turn around for the bride. Wow, that cake collapse just says it all! It's great you were there for her and supported her through all the nonsense. I hope she does take your words of encouragement to heart.

Okay well I really don't like granny or the mother at this point but omg I think the worst one is the parent that wasn't looking after their child. Another reason having kids at a wedding is a bad idea, at least if you're having kids, make sure you know the parents are good parents and that the children are well behaved. That just sounds like such a sad thing to see all those beautiful desserts on the floor.

I also agree with Nay in that she is a grown woman in her 50s, she should know how to say no to people. And why won't that groom stand up for her? I know it's not my place to yell at my FMIL, but if she was making my FH's life a miserable hell and taking over our wedding I wouldn't care, I'd say something if he didn't (though my FH is a lot more confrontational so I know I'd never have to). What a sad story :-(

I'm sure the bride appreciates your condolences on her day.

@Team Dean, she won't do that. Their honeymoon is quite extravagant. Their flight to Honolulu left at 7P. They'll stay in Honolulu until May 24 where their cruise from Honolulu to Sydney will depart returning June 11. Trust me, when she returns next month, today will be but a distant memory.

Yeah, I know if my family pulled any of this crap I would just go on with my day and have them show up to the empty church confused because they were an hour late and "offended because of secular songs" but I totally understand having problems standing up to family. I only just recently (2 months ago) stopped taking crap from my mom

For those that say she should say no and stand up for herself. She is well aware of this. However, she was raised you just don't talk back to your parents. Especially your mother and definitely not your grandmother. The issue for me is their attitude. They know she won't, so they just run a muck.

The groom wanted to defend her, but his mother made it very clear that she needs to speak up for herself first. I understand, because my upbringing was very similar to hers. However, my mother would never behave in this manner nor would she conduct a hostile takeover of my rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding or reception.